Just Ask Sooz

 

Image result for Caregiving for an elderly mom

Dear Sooz:

I am writing you today because I need some advice. My mother is 62 and she has recently been diagnosed with early onset Alzerheimers disease. I am just beside myself Sooz.

It breaks my heart seeing her decline on such a rapid basis. Once a professor, she now forgets things that have happened in the not too distant past. I have been to several Dr’s., and they have all given me the same diagnosis.

I can’t seem to deal with the previous memories of us and the thoughts of the future. Currently, I am her caregiver, and my heart just breaks on a daily basis. What can I do to help with my growing sad feelings?

Heart Broken

 

Dear Heart Broken:

First, let me say how sorry I am for both YOU and your mom. This is a HORRIBLE disease that strips one of his/her dignity. The caregiver has the toughest job as you have demonstrated, and while I applaud your selflessness, I emphasize with your feelings.

If you can, try and get some help with the Caregiving so you can do things like go to support groups for Alzheimer’s caregivers. These groups I have heard are very helpful, and help with the same feelings you are going through now.

Again, I applaud you and will send you some groups in your area. I wish you all the best.

 

 

 

 

Valentine’s Day

love-making

Today is Valentine’s Day, and I would like to wish ALL of you a Happy Valentine’s Day. For many, this day is a celebration of love that two people have for each other, for others, it merely becomes a lonely reminder of what we once had, or a realization that we are still alone and may never experience that great gift.

For those of you of the latter, I will share with you some advice. First off, be true to YOURSELF. While you might not have a man or woman to share your vast love, remember that YOU are number one and can have anything you want as long as you fight hard enough for it.

If you truly want love to happen, it will, be yourself, put a little more UMPH in your walk, and wear a big smile across your face. If you are always friendly towards others, eventually you will find Mr. or MS. Right.

Go out, join a gym, or take a dance class, Mr. /Ms. Right are OUT there, you just have to connect with them. If you sit in your home, NOTHING will happen, join the world and experience all that life has to give.

For those of you who are lucky enough to have FOUND your partner, I say Celebrate to the fullest and let each other know that they’re your soulmate, and that you love them dearly.

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone, I’ll be thinking of you…

Until Later…

 

 

Time

Image result for Time

Interestingly enough, I find myself  looking back at my life and examining all the things I have done, both good and bad. Time is something that none of us have control over, nor do we KNOW for certain how long we each have on this wonderful planet.

Whether you believe in a higher power or not, what matters IS how can we make the most of our short stay here, and can we somehow better ourselves, and our fellow man?

Time is something that has always been in the forefront of my mind in some way or another. Do I have enough time to complete that project, IS there enough time to get and accomplish all of my goals, and is it possible to extend time somehow?

The truth is, NO one knows, that is why we should live each day like it is our last. Be good to one another, help those in need if you can, and probably most important, be compassionate and forgiving. Way too much of our precious time here is wasted on silly things like anger, frustration, and greed.

Live for today, let GO of any anger you may have brewing within you, you will not only feel better, but you will LIVE longer. People NEED forgiveness…Forgive them and rebuild the love for your fellow man.

Remember, the path to righteousness starts with YOU. Spend what time you have here being happy and helping others, if you DO, your time will have been well spent.

Happy New Year!!!

 

 

A Letter to Santa

Image result for Santa at the North Pole

Dear Santa

As I write this letter, I am thinking about what to ask for this Christmas. Oh sure, it would be nice to get gifts from Victoria Secret, or jewelry trinkets, but, for this year, I have decided on the following:

My sole wish would be for everyone in the world to live in peace and harmony.   I realize that this is a bit altruistic, however, I also believe that people are inherently good, and that they all want the same things for themselves and their families.

Just think of it Santa, a world where everyone lives in total peace with NO wars anywhere. This would definitely be my first on my list.

Secondly, I would like it if ALL the people in the world had no more hunger or suffering. I know, a tall wish, but hey, I can dream can’t I? If every nation that had surpluses could give to those in need, I believe that world hunger could be totally eradicated. What a great world that would be to live in.

Lastly, but most important, I wish for love. Not just for me Santa, but for all of Humanity to embrace each other as friends and work alongside each other for the common good of Humanity.

Certainly I understand what I ask for is a tall order, but, if you could talk to the big GUY, perhaps those wishes could become reality. Here is hoping that you have some pull so my Christmas list is fulfilled.

Thanking you in advance for your kind listening ears,

Sooz

 

 

Just Ask Sooz

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Dear Sooz:

Recently, my boyfriend of 8 years dumped me for another woman. No rhyme or reason from him, just a, “We need to see other people”. What the Hell? For 8 years I have been his best friend, confidant, and sex partner, and all I get is, “ We need to see other people”.

Why is life so cruel? How can I go on and ever believe that one day I will really meet Mr. Right? I mean 8 fucking good years Sooz, and then like an old dog bone, I was just thrown away.

I am so angry and hurt; I don’t know how to deal with my feelings. I considered suicide, but then, I thought better of it. I got drunker than a skunk, but all I got from that was a huge hangover the next day.

My girlfriends all tell me to find someone else and move on, but at this point, I don’t know whether I want to see anyone else or not. I am just hurting so much.

Any advice you could offer me to help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for listening to me.

Rag Doll

 

Dear Rag Doll:

Sometimes LIFE SUCKS, there is no getting around that. He seems to be a real dick head to me and if the truth be told, you are probably better off without him.

Go out with your girlfriends and keep busy. Eventually, the pain and anger will subside and you will be able to move on, this I know from personal experience, believe me.

The saying, “Time heals all wounds” is true, there is NO quick fix here, keep busy and eventually the pain you are experiencing will lessen and let you be able to carry on normally again. Good Luck.

 

 

 

 

Just Ask Sooz

Dear Sooz:

I have been reading your posts for a long time now, and I have a question. I am a girl of 23 who lives with two roommates. One, I’ll call Paula, and also a boy maned Manny.

My question is this: Is it possible to fall in love with both of them? We have lived together now for 3 years and have become very friendly. I have dated both of them, and I think I am in love with both Manny and Paula.

As yet, I have not slept with either, but I believe that they both want to sleep with me. I am torn because I love them both and do not want the other one to get jealous. What’s your take on this?

Confused in Kentucky

 

Dear Confused in Kentucky:

Wow!!! You have really said a mouthful here. First off, you don’t seem to have any qualms about your sexuality, that’s good. At least you know and accept that you are bi-sexual.

As far as having sex with either or both, that’s a tricky one. Has either one of them made a move on you, or hinted that they WANT to sleep with you? If they have, then I would confront BOTH of them and tell them how you feel about them.

Then, if you sleep with one, at least the other will be aware of your feelings. Hopefully this will work out for you, but since you are only 23, I wouldn’t be jumping into anything just yet. Date for a while, see many people and THEN make your decisions.

Good luck…

 

 

Romance is in The Air

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Romance is in The Air

Today is Friday and I am feeling romantic, so I thought I would treat you to some of my favorite romantic poems. One of my favorites is by a brilliant poet, William Wadsworth, who wrote as if his emotion spilled out of his talented body.

“I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud” by William Wordsworth

   I wandered lonely as a cloud

   That floats on high o’er vales and hills,

   When all at once I saw a crowd,  

   A host, of golden daffodils;

   Beside the lake, beneath the trees,

   Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

 

   Continuous as the stars that shine

   And twinkle on the milky way,

   They stretched in never-ending line

   Along the margin of a bay:

   Ten thousand saw I at a glance,

   Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

 

   The waves beside them danced; but they

   Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:

   A poet could not but be gay,

   In such a jocund company:

   I gazed—and gazed—but little thought

   What wealth the show to me had brought:

 

   For oft, when on my couch I lie

   In vacant or in pensive mood,

   They flash upon that inward eye

   Which is the bliss of solitude;

   And then my heart with pleasure fills,

   And dances with the daffodils.

 

Of course, who could forget the beautiful and love filled poem by Robert Burns:

 

My Luve

O my luve is like a red, red rose,
That’s newly sprung in June:
O my luve is like the melodie,
That’s sweetly played in tune.

As fair art thou, my bonie lass,
So deep in luve am I;
And I will luve thee still, my dear,
Till a’ the seas gang dry.

Till a’ the seas gang dry, my dear,
And the rocks melt wi’ the sun;
And I will luve thee still my dear,
While the sands o’ life shall run.

And fare thee weel, my only luve!
And fare thee weel a while!
And I will come again, my luve,
Tho’ it were ten thousand mile.

I think my favorite love poem is inspired by Lord Byron and it goes like this:

She Walks in Beauty
Lord Byron (1788-1824)

The opening stanza is:

“She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that’s best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes;
Thus mellowed to that tender light
Which heaven to gaudy day denies.

Ahhhhhh, such romance, such beautiful words and thoughts by some of the greats. I hope you have enjoyed these and will share them with your significant other or sweetheart.

 

 

 

Just Ask Sooz

Dear Sooz:

I have been with my boyfriend now for about a year. We go out to the movies, dinner, picnics, etc. The problem is, we have never slept together. Recently, he has been pressuring me into sleeping with him.

Sooz, I am only 18 and I really don’t know if I want to have sex yet, plus, I don’t know if he is the one. I met him at the end of my senior year in high school and he is the only boy I have ever been with. You see, I am kind of shy and am not what you would call a party girl.

I do enjoy his company and he is very nice, but, I am just not sure about taking it to the next level.  I ask myself, could I see myself with this guy for the rest of my life and my answer is no. I am so confused and don’t know what to do. He says if I really liked him then we should be sleeping together. What do you think?

Lost

 

Dear Lost:

Everyone is different. Just because HE says that you should be sleeping together does not mean that you should. If he respects you and you tell him that you are not ready yet, he will either dump you (like an idiot), or he will respect your decision until you are ready.

Never let someone pressure you into sex unless YOU are ready for it. Believe me, you will be happier and sex will be THAT much better with someone who REALLY cares for you. Who knows, maybe a year from now you will be ready and THEN you can *^*# your brains out.

Remember…YOU have the control here, NEVER let anyone PRESSURE you into doing anything you are not ready for. I wish you much luck and happiness in your future.

 

 

 

Just Ask Sooz

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Dear Sooz:

I have never written to anyone before, but I read your column and I like it very much. I must admit it is a bit embarrassing for me, but I could really use your help.

I have been married to a wonderful man for over 6 years no. I we are both in our 30’s and we both enjoy sex very much. Everything was fine up until about two years ago.

Out of the blue, when my husband would enter me, it would start to hurt like crazy. Obviously, this made sex uncomfortable and painful for me. I went to my gynecologist and she said that nothing was wrong after doing a few tests.

She said that maybe I just needed more lubrication and that would fix the problem. I have tried that Sooz, but it really hasn’t helped much. Do you have any advice you can give me that may help make the sex better again?

Sexy Sadie

 

Dear Sexy Sadie:

Actually, I do. You “Could” have what therapists call Vaginismus, this is when upon entering, the Vagina constricts and thus causing the pain. The solution here is to get a kit that uses a dilator for the vagina, which helps stretch it making the pain go away.

Also, try and strengthen your Kegel muscles. There are several books and pamphlets out there that can show you how to do this. Also, the internet has some good ideas also. Many times, this in itself will help alleviate your pain.

I would try this first and see if it helps you. In the meantime, try to have your husband perform oral sex on you while you are strengthening your Kegel muscles.

If all else fails, try a sex therapist, they may be able to advise you on something I couldn’t. Good luck, I hope it works.

 

Just Ask Sooz

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Dear Sooz:

Last summer, my husband of 12 years left me for another woman. Recently, he messaged me on Facebook wanting to get back together with me. Evidently his floozy girlfriend left him for another younger, better looking man.

We did have some good times, but also some bad times Sooz, and I am afraid to re-enter that relationship again. Is it true, once a philanderer always a philanderer? I just hate to make the wrong move here, I am so confused. I could really use your help.

Confused

 

Dear Confused:

I certainly understand your concern with this. It really depends on how much you BOTH want to rekindle your relationship. Can he change, I don’t know. What I would recommend is to get COUPLES therapy. Iron out the old problems and THEN try and pick up your relationship.

I wouldn’t just rush into anything as this could be a recipe for disaster once again. Find out about what makes BOTH of you tick first, and then renter the relationship if you both feel you can make it work.

Personally, I am a skeptic, but then again, I am also a romantic, so I sincerely wish you two the best if that’s what you want. Good Luck.