Sensationalized News Story

Sexy woman in panties

I just finished reading an article stating someone, (Name withheld), accused George Bush SR. of grabbing her ass while at a photo shoot with him and former first lady.

The press statement released claimed that President Bush apologized “if” he caused any embarrassment to said party, and that it was NOT done to sexually harass her but as a friendly gesture.

OK, I must admit, I am getting sick to death of hearing all of this he touched who news. As a woman, let me state, I do NOT think men in power should take advantage of women JUST because they THINK they can, HOWEVER, I also hate it when they try and leverage this kind of story for a buck.

Am I saying Bill Cosby, or Harvey Weinstein didn’t assault all those women, no, what I AM saying is why wait 20 plus years to expose it? That pisses ME off. Somehow, whether it was just a harmless pat on the ass, or a full fledged assault, they should have come forward DURING the time of the alleged assault.

Here’s the rub, since our nation began, some president or another has been messing around with a mistress or five, look it up. Now, however, in the days with sensationalized news stories, when exposed, the “harmed” party can make thousands of dollars for telling THEIR side of the story REGARDLESS whether it is true or not. It’s just NOT right in MY thinking.

Am I against being sexually harassed, yes, Do I think what the “harmed” parties are doing is wrong, yes. At least accuse the blamed party right after the harassment happens as opposed to waiting, and then ruin a man’s reputation regardless if he is guilty or innocent.

Remember, here in America, a party is INNOCENT until PROVEN guilty. That’s all I am saying. Just MY thoughts. Let me hear from YOU.

Soapbox Sooz

 

 

Just Ask Sooz

 

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Dear Sooz:

I am writing this while I am drunk. My boyfriend of 3 years has just left me. He claims I am a bad girlfriend and that I only want to have sex with him when I’m drunk.

While that is true Sooz, when we were together, I usually was drunk at which point I would have sex with him.

It’s just something within me that feels better having sex when I am relaxed and confident. What’s wrong with having sex that way anyway?

I don’t know what’s wrong with me Sooz, right now, I just wanna fuck the world. Any thoughts?

Broken Hearted Drunk

 

Dear Broken Hearted Drunk:

I have addressed this before, several women like to have a drink or two before making love. The kicker, as I see it, is he didn’t like you being drunk. Were you a slobbering drunk, or just “relaxed”?

It sounds to me as if you may have been a slobbering drunk. If that was the case, you have more than a boyfriend problem, you MAY have a drinking problem.

I would recommend you see a Dr. about this who could advise you of a program near you. There will always be other boyfriends, first get yourself straight, THEN you may be able to keep a boyfriend next time.

Good Luck.

 

Sooz Update

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Hi everybody. Just wanted to check in and say that my condition is improving every day. Can’t keep a good girl down, (Unless I NEED to be down Under someone). Yup, I must be getting better, sex is back on my mind.

Speaking of sex, I must say that there is a REAL cute nurse here who has been taking “extra” good care of me. I DO love those slow and sexy sponge baths, especially in those “Hard to get at” areas.

She may very well be my next conquest, when I am able. Anyway, for now, I am limited to chess and video games. Never thought I would become an addict, but the new Final Fantasy game is hard not to keep playing. God, I’m a gamer, hehehehehehe.

If I’m honest, I am going crazy here doing basically nothing. Two more weeks of this monotony and I am FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I can’t wait. I am definitely a type A personality and I NEED to be doing something at all times.

Don’t get me wrong, reading about 60 books and playing chess is OK, but I NEED to be constantly moving and shaking, (Usually my ass). Oh come on, it WAS funny, Laugh dammit.

I MAY also be getting horny again, three times I’ve already masturbated today. Ya see, some things NEVER change, thank goodness. Well, gotta go, it’s time for my fencing lesson…Just kidding, my chess table is set up and Victoria is going to attempt to beat me…Fat Chance.

Bye for now, and love to all.

 

Just Ask Sooz

 

Dear Sooz:

I am a 24 year old woman who really enjoys sex. My husband and I were married 4 years ago and we used to make love all the time, I mean twice to three times a day. Recently, he has waned to only once per week.

I have asked him if he isn’t feeling well or if something has happened down there, and he just says that he has been tired as of late. He has been working a lot lately, even sometimes into the night.

Do you think he could be secretly having an affair? I am so distraught, please help me.

Sexy Blond

 

Dear Sexy Blond:

First of all, I am not a mind reader and couldn’t tell you if your husband is having an affair. Look for the telltale signs, credit card receipts, him or his clothing smelling like perfume that is NOT yours, continued working late at night, and of course his underwear smelling of “HER”.

Give him the benefit of the doubt, after only 4 years of being married, unless he was a player before, more than likely he IS tired. If this goes on however, you may want to do some spying on your own of hire a PI to investigate. Good luck…

 

Just Ask Sooz

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Dear Sooz:

I’d like to voice my opinion in your column if it’s OK? You see, I am married to a man who is 18 years my junior. I know, everyone calls me a cougar, but I must tell you, the marriage has worked fine now for over 15 years.

I am 56 and he is 38. We met doing laundry one day when he was only 23, I was 41 at the time. When people see us holding hands or kissing, they call us sick. Usually, they describe me as robbing the cradle, but I am here to tell you that we are both very much in love.

I have always liked older men, and I must say, I consider myself a very young looking 56. Even though the’re others out there who criticize us, we are both glad we decided to get married and become lifelong partners.

I just wanted those out there who would consider me someone taking advantage of a younger man wrong. Thank you for letting me air my voice in your forum.

P.S. The sex is amazing.

In the Beginning

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In the beginning, there was a Light, or a Spirit, or something or other that said,”Let there be Man”, and man was to be. Next it said,”Let there be an Earth, so that man can have land to fight over, and for me to watch over as entertainment”, and there appeared a planet called Earth.

 

Then, being tired out after such a horrendous feat said, “ I shall now create evil”, and he created woman, to tempt and to twist man into a pretzel with her devilish ways.

 

Soon god grew tired of watching men and woman bitch at each other, so he created politicians for a NEW source of entertainment. This proved to be a wonderful accomplishment as the politicians lied, cheated, and seemed as if they would do ANYTHING to get what they wanted. God LOVED to watch them as they lived their lives differently each day.

 

God was always amused at how they would act to get what they wanted. Some called themselves Democrats and some called themselves Republicans, but BOTH even though they swore had their party values, would connive and deceive to secretly get what THEY wanted.

 

Meanwhile, the countries they served went to Hell in a hand basket and god laughed and laughed. God knew they were better than ever sending some slithering snake and have Eve bite an apple as an evil gesture, this was just pure gold.

 

Now, god could always do what he wanted to do and destroy the Earth in a big ball of fire. You see, God always did like shooting off missiles. So one day, when he was a little bored, god had the politicians of one country point and fire their missiles at all the other countries. There was a HUGE explosion, which wiped out ALL the population of the Earth. This time, god would create the perfect world, so he rolled up his sleeves, and said, “Let there be women, and ONLY one man”, who would act as a stud.

 

And god was happy, and the world flourished.

The End…

 

Just Ask Sooz

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Dear Sooz:

For a while now, I have wondered how broken you have be before you’re too far gone to be saved. I used to think I was too far gone, but then an old friend came back into my life we’ll call him guy x,  and he showed me that I could be loved.

I started to fall for him, but he was stuck between me and another girl. For a while, he flirted with both of us and said he didn’t know which of us to choose. At first, we overlooked it because, well, he was a guy and you know how guys can be.

After I became friends with the other girl, and realized how great of a person she was, that’s when I realized how much pain it was really causing us. At first, I didn’t notice my pain, but when I did,  I pushed it back inside.

I knew I needed to do something for myself, but it still shattered my heart. Now, I am starting to get to be friends with this other guy, we’ll call guy m. I told guy x that we should just go back to being just friends because the other way was causing too much pain.

The other girl introduced me to guy m, and we are still getting to know each other. He is very kind, and funny, and I think I’m starting to like him. Here’s the thing, he likes me, but I’m afraid… What if I fall for him and get hurt, or, what if I’m not good enough? What if he deserves better? What should I do Sooz?

Broken Girl 18

 

Dear Broken Girl 18:

Here is what I have learned through many relationships in life. “Nothing ventured, nothing gained” Life is a crapshoot my dear, being only 18, you will probably get your heart broken several more times before finding Mr. Right.

Don’t let the bad taste of one bad apple sour you on the other apples in the tree. You deserve to be happy, take a chance, fall in love, lust, and have some fun. If it works out, great, if it doesn’t, well,  move on and go to the next man.

Take a chance with guy M and be happy while you can. Good luck.

 

 

 

 

Just Ask Sooz

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Dear Sooz:

Hello Dreamshadow, I have a question to ask Sooz. It is for my friend, of course. “I work in sales at a company that sells, office supplies. It is a decent job and my coworkers are pretty cool for the most part, but there is this one sales guy who is always very serious and way over the top about everything. 

 My BF also works here and we have been pranking this, “way too serious guy” for years. Keep in mind that these are never truly harmful pranks and he generally takes it well. This one time, we left a voodoo doll on his desk with one pin in it on the right thigh. 

 What he didn’t know is that the metal pin was actually a touch-sensitive contact that activated a small remote vibrating buzzer device that my BF had in his pocket. When the pin was touched, the small device buzzed silently and my BF would yell, “OUCH!” from anywhere in the office and grab his “boo boo”. 

Then BF would rub his thigh and say things like, “I really need to get this checked out.” Mr. Oh-So-Serious began to think he had power over my BF. After a couple days we left a doll that resembled the guy on my BF’s desk. 

 When BF got into the office, he picked it up and when the serious guy noticed, he looked panicked. Later in the day, BF got a cancellation over the phone, and pretended to be upset about it. He jabbed the doll mindlessly with a pair of scissors, missed the torso, and stuck it in the doll’s upper-right arm.

 

The man walked around rubbing his bicep for several hours. This went on for quite a while, and the guy actually ended up stealing the doll. We caught him, and he was super embarrassed, but as you can see it was a truly harmless prank. Lately, we have been running short on pranks. I mean after 10 years of this thing has gotten a bit stale. What should we do SOOZ?

 Devious Prankster

 

Dear Devious Prankster:

Hey, I’ve played MY share of practical jokes on people, but never any that really messed with someone’s head. Why don’t you and your best friend just invite the guy out for a few beers, get to really know him a little better and end all of this tomfoolery.

One of these days you or your best friend may need him for something and would want him to be on YOUR team. Play nice boys, remember, “KARMA is a BITCH”…

 

 

Sooz’s Diary

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Dear Diary:

As I write these words I am curious to that of Human Nature. Some people see me as a former captain of industry, and now a student redefining her life, others, see me as a drunken whore and a woman without conscience.

It’s almost as if I have two separate personalities, and yet, I am merely a woman, nothing more and nothing less. Yes, I have faults and talents like the rest of Humanity, and yes, my feelings can be hurt, and believe it or not, cut me and I bleed just like you do.

Why is it that MANY want my persona to be the drunk and sexual Nymphomaniac? Is it because I am easy after I am drunk, and they can just have their way with me? Helene, perhaps I should send a letter to Just Ask Sooz and find out.

The truth is I AM an alcoholic who IS a Nymphomaniac. I have had my ups and downs with the alcohol, but my sexual response is one in which I have never been able to quell.

Does this mean I don’t have a conscience…NO. I DO have a conscience, one in which I wrestle with each and every day. Why, because it is BECAUSE of my increased sexual arousal that I have created many unhappy people.

If there is a Hell will I burn there for eternity, I HOPE not, and yet, I still can’t seem to control my urges. Should I be doomed for something that is incurable? I don’t know, I wonder about these things a lot.

All this worry is probably just for naught however. If there is a final judgement, I guess I’ll just have to wait and find out the fate that surrounds me. If there is NO final judgement, then I guess I won’t have to worry about these matters.

I guess the best thing I can do is to live my life the best way I know how, and help those who are less fortunate than I am. This way I can at least hedge my bets… Hehehehe.

Until Later Diary…

 

 

The Scripe

Image result for Dr Seuss cartoon characters

Thought I’d try a little Dr. Seuss style on this one. Let me know what you think.

 

Away in the forest and over the hill,

Lies a quiet little town whose name is Bree Mill.

It has mountains and streams, and buildings with beams,

It has people with pipes, and one Hobbit named Scripe.

 

Scripe, they say, is smaller than most,

His skin tone is pale, as white as a ghost,

But, he is happy and friendly, say his friends who are close,

And he is happiest when seen giving a toast.

 

He hobbles around the town with a cane,

From an accident he had, where no one was blamed.

He works in confection, makes sweet things galore,

Yet he would rather, you see, be dancing on the floor.

 

Indeed a dancer, he was, till that ill-fated day,

When a Trolley Bombaster would take it away.

His leg was impaired, yet his spirits were bright,

For now he could TEACH others to dance through the night.

 

So this is his story, and this is his tale,

The Scripe teaches on, and refuses to fail.

Let this be a lesson to those who are down,

Follow the Scripe, and turn that frown upside down.