Sooz’s Diary

Dear Diary:

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The last time I checked, I was a happy 40ish something person. I love life, like to party, and well, be the party girl type I guess. Sure, I have faults just like anyone else, but, I also love people…Literally AND figuratively.

Sometimes this gets me into trouble. Let’s take the other night for example, I went to a club, got a little tipsy, (OK, I was blasted), and hooked up with this real cute Doctor.

I went back to his place where he offered me more booze, naturally, in my condition, I said yes and wound up the next day with my clothes off, and some semen swimming around in my privates.

Did he wear a condom…DUH!!! What the hell is wrong with me? This damn oversexed twat of mine just CAINT say no. I googled said “DOCTOR” and it turns out that my Dr. Friend is really a Limo driver. UGH!!! When will I EVER LEARN???

So, I sobered up, called my driver and went home. This is my dark side. I can be very nice, help the poor, donate my sober time, and even sponsor charities, however, I still love to **** too much and I must say, after I’ve been drinking, I am NOT very responsible.

Some of you may say, “You’re going to get a disease”, and of course you would be right. You name it, and I have had it at one time or another. Recently, I have just been lucky.

So, what do I do, wear a chastity belt, stay away from the Human population, sew my twat shut…What?  For one, I realize the drinking accelerates my sexual drive. I have to learn how to control it, thus control the sex cravings. HOW is the BETTER question.

Yes, I know, AA, therapy, etc. All of these I have tried and to no avail. UGH! I’m afraid I am just in for a life full of lucky chances and night after blues. Maybe in my NEXT life…

Until Later…

 

 

Sooz Plays the Mother????

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How many people  see  me as the “mother type”? Well, I must admit if I am being honest, I never saw myself as the type, until a good friend of mine asked me to babysit her one year old baby girl.

When she asked, immediately two thoughts came to mind:

  • One…Why me???
  • I will need to be SOBER to do this gig, right?

I must admit, I DO love kids, I just never saw myself taking care of any. I mean I am a pretty regimented gal, you know, up at 6.00, drunk as a skunk by noon, nap until 4:00, and then repeat.

So taking a baby under wing for a few hours did cause me a bit of concern. In the end however, I decided that I could do it, and REALLY, how hard could it be to take care of a one year old anyway?

When my girlfriend dropped her off, I was like, is she moving IN or what? She brought diapers,(NOT PAMPERS), cloth…I didn’t even know they still MADE these anymore. Along with her came a carrying bag filled with every goodie made by man.

She had diaper wipes, ass creams, spit up rags, (WHAT???)  bottles, formula, (What, was this kid going to do, calculus or something?), cute little teething rings of teddy bears and flowers, a nightgown, some kind of white dusting powder that looked like Coke, I think, (eyes looking up to God), and a LIST of what to do in case of an emergency.

NOW, I was scared. I never changed a REAL diaper, let alone been responsible for a child’s nutrition. I kept thinking, couldn’t I be just a “LITTLE DRUNK”…Oui!!! No, I just smiled and said everything would be fine (Lying through my teeth).

I took position of the little creature and before my friend left I asked…”What time will you be home”? She said, “late”, and closed the door. Now I was panicked. What should I do first?

I grabbed the cheat, cheat list and it said FEED HER. I was lucky and was able to get some milk down the kid. Next it said BURP HER??? WHAT??? I looked at Molly as I kept saying “burp kid”, come on, you can do it. With enough pleading and praying, she finally let out a big BUUUUUUUURRRRRP.

Phew, I thought as I stood there proud of myself for making a kid burp. Hey, maybe I had just discovered a new career. Molly was fine for about an hour when I started to smell this rank smell. Praying that it wouldn’t be “The Diaper Change”, I slowly lifted her up to my nose. Yes I did…I puked all over God and Country . Molly needed a change. After I cleaned up me, and the carpet, I gave Molly ago. How hard could this be right? After twenty minutes of scattering poop all over, I finally called a friend of mine who walked me through it on Skype. I needed a drink, or ten.

I got Molly to bed, I sat down, and took a deep breath…I had MADE it!!! Ten minutes later, there was a knock at the door and my friend returned. THANK YOU JESUS!!!

After she left, I opened the biggest bottle of vodka you can think of, and drank myself to sleep hoping I would never remember this experience again.

Until Later…

 

 

Random Thoughts/ Just Ask Sooz

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Hello my friends, sorry I haven’t been around in a few days; I am still grieving over the loss of Bella. I can’t seem to manage to do anything these days except tip a glass. Oh well, life goes on, right?

I must say, everyone I know has been very supportive which has helped me tremendously, thank you. You never know who your true friends are unless something like this has happened.

 Today I went out and bought a few simple gifts as a thank you. It actually felt good to get out into the open air and just breathe again. I have been cooped up in my home boozing for so long; I had forgotten what the real world looks like.

For the folks who read me, I want to apologize for not being a very good writer lately. As it turns out, I too am Human and have feelings like everybody else. Feeling better now, I believe I will start creative writing again shortly.

Admittedly, I miss both my readers and the daily writing. Thank all of you for being patient. I will leave you with a quick Just Ask Sooz post.

Dear Sooz:

I need your advice. Last night, my husband of 15 years came home drunk and told me he has been having affair with my best friend. I was flabbergasted, hurt, angry, and a whole bunch of other emotions rattling around in my head.

I left for a hotel because he was too drunk to talk about it last night. Today, I went back home and found him hung over, and crying. I asked him two questions right off:

  1. Did he love her?
  2. Why?

He said that he didn’t love her, it was just sex. He maintained that he still loved me and that he had been making a mistake. Why??? He claims that he has a voracious sexual appetite and that I had not been fulfilling it lately.

He was sorry and he wanted to keep things status quo. Sooz, I don’t know if I can do that. What would be your suggestion?

Confused and Hurt

 

Dear Confused and Hurt:

First of all, do you still love him, and are you willing to forgive this indiscretion? If so, I would recommend marriage counseling for you both. Secondly, what about his sexual appetite? Are you able to satisfy him more often or not?

It seems to me that he had NO regard for you while he was playing footsie with your best friend. I am doubtful here, but, if you are willing to try and forgive, I would go ahead with counselling and see where it goes. If not, pack up and walk away.

Good luck!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Portrait of a Lover

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Drunk… As I write this, I am fully tipsy. Oh doth the pain trouble my aching heart. My soul is ripped, and I suffer the unending arrows of love, shot through my inebriated shell of a body.

Bella is gone; she has fled back to France without a word of comfort, only saying she could no longer live the life of opulence and splendor. WHAT??? My swollen eyes morn for her return, yet my mind reveals the truth.

I believed we were a match made in Heaven, a symbiotic relationship joined through love and admiration. One as a body, and one soul united through the truth of a perfect union.

I understand now that the truth reveals divergent paths. Are there no rules when it comes to love, should there BE so much hurt and disappointment for such a wondrous thing?

Woe, I say, for the aggrieved soul that is floating, as a bit of flotsam doth float in the sea, to recover a loss, is like waiting on the fallen rain to grow a single flower, slow as time passes, yet, fully and meaningful.

Once again, life starts anew, and leaves the weathered and confused soul to recover.

Cheers!!!

 

 

 

Just Ask Sooz

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Dear Sooz

When I married my husband, he had a 13 year old daughter. Now, in his eyes, the world starts and ends with her, in “my eyes”, she is a pain in the ass. She is messy, doesn’t listen to me, and “never” wants to help out with the chores.

When I try and correct her, my husband defends her and practically jumps down my throat. I am getting very tired of her behavior Sooz, I have spoken to my husband about it but, he just doesn’t want to get involved.

Should I put my foot down, or, right up her ass? This is really getting to me.

Fed up Wife

 

Dear Fed up Wife:

OK, here is what I would do. I would take his daughter alone somewhere, maybe shopping, and discuss with HER what really bothers you. Tell her you don’t like being a bitch, and that you would LIKE to get along with her.

Ask her, could she please keep her room relatively clean and when you need help, would she please give it to you. Hopefully, the nice approach will work, if not, tell your husband that you are fed up and that things need to change.

The very LAST thing I would do is contact her mother and ask her if she can get involved to help you. I don’t know, I am not a child psychologist, but I would try these things first before bringing in an outside source. Good Luck…

                                                  

 

A Touching Birthday Present

 

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Today, I received a very late Birthday present from a friend of mine I haven’t seen in 12 years. Years ago, when I was in school, we used to hang out, drink together, tell each other everything, and got in trouble often.

The years passed, I got my first job and she moved away to New England somewhere. At first, we used to write letters to each other, (Remember what letters are?), and of course the usual phone calls, but then we slowly drifted apart.

She became the manager of  a prestigious editing firm in Boston, and I was working on my goal to conquer the world by the time I was 30. As time drifted by, our once exuberant and playful friendship turned to a Christmas card once a year followed by nothing at all.

Then today, Federal Express knocks on my door with a package. My curiosity got the best of me since I wasn’t expecting anything and I immediately ripped open the package. Inside, was a beautiful portrait of her and I together when we were both drunk and kissing.

I remembered as I saw this, that another friend of ours, (Who was an art student), took a Polaroid of us, and caught us in the act. Turns out, she was the one who painted the picture from this snapshot. Julia, my friend in Boston, contacted her to paint this picture. OMG, the memories just flooded back, I was back in school again.

I was amazed at how good the likenesses were from just a snapshot. I found a card inside that read, “Never forget the good times, love, Jules.” Thank goodness there was a phone number inside, I grabbed the phone and on the third ring she picked up, “Hello”, she said, well, I started to cry as I heard her voice, and I said “Jules, that was the nicest present I ever got.”

We spoke for two hours and caught up just like it was 20 years ago. We said our farewells and swore that we would always keep in touch. I hung the picture in my bedroom so I could look at it each night and remember the good times on a daily basis.

Until Later…

 

 

 

 

Just Ask Sooz

 

Dear Sooz:

I am a 32 year old divorced woman with one child. My recent husband is older, he has a 16 year old son who has a problem.

The problem is, he has been hitting on me. When I’m at the pool in the backyard, he stares at me. Sometimes when I get out, he hands me a towel and asks if he could wipe me off. I have been repelling his advances chalking it up to adolescence.

I don’t want to hurt his feelings, but, I also don’t want to lead him on. Should I say something to him, or should I tell my husband and have him deal with this?

Being newly married, I don’t want to cause any problems between my husband and me. What do you suggest?

 

In a Pickle

 

Dear In a Pickle:

Definitely let your husband know what’s going on. As you say, it is probably an adolescent thing, but, it should be addressed and NOW, the sooner the better. I would let your husband take the lead on this one since it is HIS son.

16 year old males only have ONE thing on their brains…Women. Be kind, but don’t make any encouraging gestures. You should be fine, but have your husband talk with him soon to stop the teenager’s advances. Good luck…

 

Some Like it Hot

Gently touching your lips while I feel cup your breasts, my mind reels.

My legs are spread wide as you softly work your fingers down my thigh.

The heart pounds from the sensation of your body, soft as pillows.

Wetness forms around my garden, awaiting your mouth to pleasure me.

 

My breasts are yours, encircled by your tongue, and gently biting my nipples.

When will she get to my glory box, I think, sucking me dry while licking my forbidden button.

Kisses, slowly repeating down my inner thighs, while my body quivers in ecstasy.

I start to pant now as she works her fingers in and out of my glory hole, all the while, licking up, and around my pleasure button.

 

I am hers, I surrender as I scream out into the night, Yes, Yes, Yes!!!

It becomes no longer possible to contain my excitement, I inhale, and give her my soul.

Screaming out like a banshee, I explode like a thousand pounds of dynamite, filling the night with the relief of a lifetime.

Quiet now, I retrn the pleasure, and the music plays on.

 

 

 

 

Just Ask Sooz

Dear Sooz:

My husband is in the Navy and is currently deployed to the Mediterranean. We always have a great sex life when he is here, however, I am getting as horny as a dog in heat.

My next door neighbor’s husband is beginning to look awful sexy to me lately. He comes out in the morning with very tight fitting shorts which pretty much shows everything.

He always says hello and sometimes we will talk. Is it wrong to covet my neighbor’s husband? I really need some action.

Horny Toad

 

Dear Horny Toad:

Wait…HOW tight WERE his shorts? Can you see his ass really well? Oh, never mind, back to the moment at hand Sooz. The correct and moral answer is, keep your cotton pickin’ hands off your neighbor’s husband’s shorts.

Remember those vows that you took when you were married, till death do us part? There are ALWAYS Dildos and Vibrators to help hold you over. Honor those vows, and screw the life out of your husband when he returns…Good luck…

 

 

 

 

The Murder of a Dream

Usually, after a nice night of drinking, I fall into a deep sleep. Once asleep, I  fall into a heavy dream state, drifting into dreamland. Last night, I had  an absolutely wonderful dream.

I dreamt that I was on a plane, flying to France. With my heart racing, I had planned on asking Bella, my crush, to marry me.

Everything was planned, dotting all my I’s and crossing ll my T’s. The flowers, roses, irises, and carnations, were arranged in hearts with Bella’s name in the middle.

Balloons filled the hall, like trees line a forest. All I needed now was for Bella to walk through the door. My heart was racing, as I heard her approaching, nearing the hall door.

As  the huge hall’s portal opened,  Bella smiled with a large grin. She saw all the decorations, and from across the room, she watched as U mouthed the words I Love You.

I walked towards her, Got on one knee, and showed her the ring.  Then, I heard what sounded like a gunshot.

I immediately awoke to the sound of my neighbor having his roof repaired. The gunshots, were actually sounds from the hammers that exploded  like gongs being stricken by huge Chinese hammers.

I was asleep no more, the hammers, continually banging, woke me out of a sound sleep, thus murdering my dream.

I tried and tried to return to the dream, but without success.  Finally, I got up, went to the kitchen, poured myself a strong one, and started my day. Ugh!!!