Just Ask Sooz

Dear Sooz:

I am writing for my boyfriend as he is too embarrassed to write. The problem is Sooz, he is a pre ejaculator. It seems every time we make love, within a minute, he shoots his load, turns over and falls asleep, leaving me frustrated.

I have heard this is a common problem and wanted to see if you could share some advice with me? We make love at least three times a week, so anything you’ve got to help would be greatly appreciated.

Frustrated Frau


Dear frustrated Frau:

You’re right, it IS a fairly common problem. You didn’t say how old he was which sometimes can make a difference. You’re in luck though, as I know a sure fire way to fix this. Here is what you do:

Take his penis and stroke it like you want him to cum, before he does, back off and let it deflate a bit. Then, repeat as before. Do this four or five times over a ten-fifteen minute period.

Try this daily for five consecutive days. Each time, extend the time before ejaculation by a minute or two. By the end of the week, he should be as right as rain, and YOU should be satisfied once again. Good Luck!







Trump, Money, and Pussy Power

Image result for Cartoon image of Trump

Donald Trump is a misogynistic sex mongering pig. Oops, was that TOO harsh a statement? I mean I don’t want my taxes audited, or perhaps midnight visits by dark colored minivans outside my door now do I?

I’m sorry folks, for ANYONE to say what he did (In the locker room) about women was just wrong. QI TOO am rich and have a great deal of influence, HOWEVER, I would no more grab your privates than I would for a venomous cocktail.

To ME, it takes a degenerate to not actually SAY something like that, but ACTUALLY DO IT, because he feels entitled based on his power and money. Where has the sanity gone people?

At least when the other presidents had affairs, they did it WITHOUT the News cameras staring. This guy WANTS to let folks know that he has no working morals, and that he can just say, or DO, whatever the Hell he wants.

I for one am appalled and chagrined at his actions. It was bad enough when he was on the campaign trail, now that he is the leader of our free world, I am just saddened.

Come on Mr. President; get your head in the game, and out of my pussy.  

Adult Poetry by Sooz


I have had this one rolling inside me for a long time and I just HAD to let it out…Hope you like it anyway…

(To the tune of Pop goes the weasel)


All round the Johnson or Dick,

The girl chased balls that were hairy,

That’s the way the way game is played,

POP goes the Cherry!!!

Ten Things Women Should NOT do When Drunk

drunk-woman blacking out

Propose Marriage—This act should ONLY be done sober as even IT only works out around a 50% of the time. When drunk, stick to kissing heavily, breast and cock feeling, and perhaps a one or four night stand using the proper protective techniques.

Ask Another Drunk for the Time—This behavior results in not ONLY getting the incorrect time, but can also be the start for a drunken marriage proposal, as the two of them FINALLY figure out the time

Sing-It’s Raining Men—This usually gets ALL the drunks singing and taking off articles of clothing it’s a SURE thing. This is OK for the women with great bodies and men who MAY be Adonis’s, however, this is only about one in the entire place. Put it back, sir, NO ONE wants to see THAT!!

Start a Conga Line—OK, look; this is fun at a wedding, but in the middle of Time’s Square on New Year’s Eve with NAKED bodies…..Ahhhh NO!!! Hey, it DID happen dammit, I was THERE!!! Shush…THAT memory needs to be forgotten. DAMM those pictures!!!!!! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…

Betting the Entire Bar 50.00 bucks you can Have an Orgasm in LESS Than 1Min, Then, have everyone try and PROVE it!!! God that was a FUN night…I think???

Never Bet you can Out Drink a Wrestler—I have found that professional wrestlers can drink you under the table and then wrestle you once you are UNDER the table. Ya gotta LOVE wrestlers…

Call a Woman a Whore, and then take her home and sleep with her. OK, I have had BAD experiences with this just sayin’.

Never Go Home With a Stranger—Talk to him, touch him, fuck him in his car first, THEN go home with him. After all THAT, he is no longer a stranger.

Never Give a Blowjob to Anyone who Eats Nachos With Beer—OMG, it is the WORST tasting Semen EVER!!! You can remember this if you are sober also.

OK, you MAY have noticed that they’re only 9 things here. If you DID, keep drinking, and after a while there will SEEM like many more. Hope you enjoyed these.





I Need to Give Someone a Blow Job NOW

                            ******************Adult Material***********************


That’s it; I have read one too many porn stories about giving Blow Jobs, now I need to give one. I guess my next door neighbor will be the lucky recipient, unbeknownst to him.

I’ve forgotten how much I love watching guys whimper like little babies as I wet their sticks with my tongue first, then little by little, cover their joysticks with my hot sexy mouth.  I watch them as they GIVE themselves to me, I love the way they say, “Don’t stop Sooz, oh yeah baby, take me to Heaven.” Slowly sucking and licking them until they quiver, I watch as they become jelly fish while I am in total control. Up and down the shaft I go making sure that their balls get all the proper handling they need.

They KNOW I’m their master, and they are my BITCH. Just feeling their penises get hard while it’s in my succulent mouth, makes my mound wet faster than a hand full of wet fingers inside my pussy. God, I love giving BJ’s.

Let’s not forget the VERY best part, the squirting of all that wonderful HOT, salty, Jizz just trickling down throat…Mmmmmmmmmmm… The feeling is incredible, when they turn to me breathless and say,”Sooz, you’re the best.” I say right back to them, “Indeed I am… Indeed I am.”

The Subway Ride–Adult Story–

I have always hated trains, EXCEPT for today, always crowded, smelly, and usually with a hint of disquietedness, and with the same route every day, it gets to be a bit boring.

Hi, my name is Marsha, and I needed some excitement in my life. Usually, I am a shy gal, you know the type, she says very little until she gets to know you, but today was different. I NEEDED something different, something exciting.

As I sat on that boring train, I decided that I needed to do something crazy. Something that would make THIS train ride like no others, I decided to make love to the next person who sat next to me, male or female. Crazy, right, I know, but I was tired of being boring Marcia and I needed some spark, something out of the ordinary, to make a lasting memory.

“42 St.”, I heard the conductor yell, as several people got off to carry on with their boring lives. Then it happened, my plan was about to be put into production. A man, probably in his early 50’s sat down next to me. Boy was HE in for the treat of his life. He sat down, gave me one of those fake hi how are ya smiles, and then, opened up his newspaper.

Was I REALLY gonna go through with this I thought to myself, YES, by god I was. Summoning all my courage, I started a conversation with this older and somewhat balding man. He seemed like a nice guy, worked as a Repo man in the city, and I noticed that he wasn’t wearing a ring.

Of course, at this point, I had already made up my mind, and I really didn’t care if a Kangaroo had sat next to me, I was STILL going through with it. I giggled as he told me about some of his crazy Repo stories, and moved my hand into his lap.

He looked at me like, what the HELL are you doing, as I moved my hand across his lap. I could FEEL the hardness coming under his pants as I stroked his muscle of love. His expression was priceless, as I placed the paper over his lap, undid his belt, and moved my hand inside his pants. His eyes were closed now, giving in to my hand as I STROKED his long hard member with my hand. At THIS point, there WERE no words from my seat mate, only small groans of pleasure.

Figuring he may need a little help, I slipped HIS hand under my dress, and placed it on my wet mound. He was sweating now, as he slipped his finger into my molten river of lust. His breathing became labored, and I too just wanted him to keep fucking me. God this was fun, I thought, why haven’t I ever done this before?

As the train rolled on, so did our sex session. We BOTH came within seconds of each other, stifling the sounds of passions release… He squirted like a fully loaded squirt gun, filling his pants with enough Jiz to load a dumpster, not bad I thought, as we both tried to look normal.

 “121 St.” the conductor yelled out, this is my stop I said as I gave him a slight grin and exited the train. I wanted a memory, and TODAY, I got one I shall never forget…

Until Later…


Just Ask Sooz


Dear Sooz:

My problem is an embarrassing one. I am an 18 year old man who is addicted to porn. I have been looking at porn and masturbating, ever since I was 14. Here’s the problem, I have been with a few women, and I just can’t seem to “rise” to the occasion with them. Have you ever heard of this before?

I am only 18 and I am just coming into my sexuality, what’s the problem here? Every time I am with someone I like, I just can’t seem to “close the deal”.

Am I doomed?

Snake Charmer


Dear Snake Charmer:

Being addicted to porn as you seem to be CAN have its downsides. What you are experiencing is one of them. You are so enamored with the fantasy world, you have only been able to “close the deal” IN the fantasy world.

I suggest limiting your porn viewing and masturbating. Save some of those precious Semen for REAL LIVE women…Porn is fun and fine but NOT all the time.

Get a hobby…Join a club…Help others….Just stay away from your computer..

If you do, you should return to normal unless there are some other medical problems…Good Luck…




Just Ask Sooz


Dear Sooz:

I need help. I am a 26 year old mother with three boys ages, 3, 5, and 6. They are beautiful, active boys and are pretty typical except for one thing, the 5 and 6 year olds play with their, um, “jewels”.

I just don’t know how to break them of this. When I take them out to the store their hand are always down their pants. I have explained to them that this is not appropriate behavior, but, they just keep on doing it.

Once my mother-in-law was over for lunch and she saw Eric and Jason playing with themselves, and she was so embarrassed, she turned a beet red. Then, she took me aside and started yelling at me for letting them continue this filthy habit.

I am all out of ideas Sooz, I have tried to scare them into making them believe it would fall off if they kept it up, I have also old them it wouldn’t grow anymore, but still they continue.

Every time I seem them doing it, I tell them to stop immediately, but they seem to go right back to the same old practice 10 minutes later. I am so distraught, can you help me?

Jewel Giggler


Dear Jewel Giggler:


Let me just say this, boys will be boys. It is a very common practice to see boys of this age touching themselves. To THEM. It just feels good and they see nothing wrong with it.

Actually, SOME boys NEVER lose the urge to give “Jimmy a Jingle”, just look at Steven Tyler or Michael Jackson when they perform. It seems like every other syllable they sing; it’s time for a free for all in their pants.

Just keep doing what you are doing and sooner or later they will lose and start using their hands more constructively. I recommend that when they start touching themselves, distract them with something else.

Give them a chore to do, or interest them in building something with Legos or blocks. This will help keep their focus on something productive and OFF themselves. Good Luck…