If I Were a Monkey

Cute Monkey Cartoon Royalty Free Cliparts, Vectors, And Stock ...

If I were a monkey I’d live in the zoo, or perhaps as a pet, I could live with you.

I would jump, I could hop, I would climb and I’d swing, like you, I can do about any old thing.

Emotions are something ingrained in my head, I can be happy or sad and a temper it’s said.

Like Humans I eat foods like bananas and stuff, steak and sweet foods, but my favorite is Fluff.

If I were a monkey I could jump on your head, again as a pet I could sleep in your bed.

I could play on your swing set, your bars and your slide, even riding a bike brings a great sense of pride.

I love to be read to and cuddled in your arms, and I know that I’m safe from the world and its harms.

Yes If I were a monkey I’d be cute and would smile, and I would hope and I’d pray you would keep me awhile.

Until Later…

Ode to the Tongue

Image result for Two women tongue kissing

Tingling, Tasting, Tantalizing,

Swirling, Salty, Salacious,

Sexy, Sensual, and Luscious,

What more could we ask for?


Place your tongue gently on mine,

And swirl it around my mouth.

Taste my sweet juices on both my lips.


Delight in the flavor,

And tantalize me,

Now, and forever more.


Ode to a Daisy

Image result for a Daisy

Oh beautiful flowering seed,

Rising above the Earth so proud,

Strong in stature, yet delicate in appearance,

Protruding into sky’s light, enhancing Nature’s beauty.


Petals soft but colorful, and thy center of gold,

Displaying strength and beauty,

Enriching all who observe thy godliness,

And pleasing to all who witness thy grace.


Grow on little flower,

So that all can see the glory of thy magnificence.





Drunken Poetry-The Moon

the moon

I am absolutely hammered as I write this, so hopefully, it will still be good.

I am sitting on my back porch looking at the gorgeous moon, (or MOONS in my case), and inspiration hit me, (more likely however, it’s the vodka).

Bear with me as I write this poem about the moon. If this is no good, please just disregard and move on to someone who is sober…Here goes…

The Moon

Oh vast domain of space, filled with Nature’s glory,

Be thou luminesced by thy orange-ish sphere.
Merely a circling particle of thy Mother’s domain,

Or, a miracle from the Infinite, encircling us in everlasting rotation.

One’s rays through the ages stimulates love’s bond between us mere mortals,

And, through its divine presence, brings a quiet and peaceful glow upon man’s world.

Yea, though changing form through its cycle, once, every thirty days it dazzles us with light’s brilliance.

We hold you to be in our lives, and we await the fullness of your glory.

Natures Wonder


Whispering Pines blow, as the chimes hung above them glisten.

Plush green grass sways back and forth, as if dancing to the song of Nature’s glory.

The sun warms the meadows,

And the stream below flows as if tears trickle.


Morn has awakened, and has answered God’s call.

Blessed are we who enjoy it precious gifts.

For WE are the reason for its majesty.

Sit back, Smell the flowers, and enjoy.


Cupids Arrow


Love, forget me not, yet deliver me to thy glory.

I have placed thy pedestal upon my altar,

And  have offered my soul for thee to ponder.


I ask that you shoot me with thy sweet arrow of love,

And envelope me within thy tent of sweet emotion.

Let the bells of lust  play on amongst my loins,

And may the god of love remain within my soul always.



How Great Thou Art

Image result for Nature

As I stare into skies of black,

And ponder the ocean blue,

I wonder if the Universe,

Thinks as though we do.


I wonder if we’ll ever learn,

The meaning of our lives,

That while we think, and yell, and boast,

How small we are in size.


We feel as if we’re special beings.

Placed on the Earth below,

Yet, in the Universe, vast and far,

What little do we know?


The heat of the sun, gives warmth to our souls,

The winds keep us cool and dry,

Yet what do WE give back to the world,

And should the question there arise, the best we can do is sigh.


Let peril not consume our hearts,

As the Earth remains to turn,

Instead, my friend, let’s give our thanks,

And acknowledge its concern.















Twas the Night Before Xmas Parody

  I wrote this a while ago but I liked it so much I thought I would re post it. I hope you enjoy it.

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house,

Not a creature was stirring except for a couple of rats in my walls and the bat which came down my chimney.

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, but NOT carefully enough because the long assed stockings caught fire and nearly burned down my mantle.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds, at least THIS is what the parents thought. The crafty little bastards were already stealthily searching the house for their presents.

And mamma in her kerchief, and me in my hat, were drunk as a skunk and ready for a nap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my bed and called the cops. “Hey…I’m trying to sleep here.”

Away to the window I flew like a flash, tore open the shutters and dropped all my Hash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow seemed to rise and to fall like freshly baked dough. Hey…They can’t ALL be funny…”Give me a freakin’ break will ya??????”

When what to my wondering eyes should appear a HUGE ass sleigh and eight big as elephants Reindeer. I quit drinking Scotch shortly after that.

With a little old driver so lively and quick, I saw Santa Clause; the booze had done its trick.

More rapid than eagles, his coursers they came, and he whistled and shouted and called them by name.

“Now Dasher, now Dancer, now Prancer, and Vixen, on Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen.” Hearing this I shouted out “WTF!!!”

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly, (???), when they meet with an obstacle mount to the sky. (SERIOUSLY????) So up to the housetop, the coursers they flew, (Why didn’t they just call them the f**king Reindeer?),with the sleigh full of toys and St. Nicholas too.

And then in a twinkling, I heard on the roof, the prancing and pawing of each little hoof. I hope that red suited old man doesn’t expect ME to clean up that Reindeer Poop on the roof.

As I drew in my head and was turning around, down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound. He ruined my WHOLE freakin’ chimney too that fat bastard.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his feet, (Sale on at Macy’s), and his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot. Serves the A hole right for comin’ don my chimney.

A bundle of toys he had flung on his back, And I thought…GREAT…This guy stole from the Toys for Tots shelter.

His eyes how they twinkled, his dimples, how merry, his cheeks were like roses his nose like a cheery. No WONDER… His breath smelled like he had just come from a major WINE tasting Vineyard.

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow, and the beard on his chin was as white as the snow. I think he colors it…

He had a broad face and a round little belly, that shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly. OK…I’m being KIND here…The guy HAD to weigh in at over 500 lbs.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf, (I never KNEW that Santa WAS an elf), and I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself.

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head, he scared the livin’ bejesus out of me, kinda like the exorcist. Oh wait…This doesn’t rhyme…Oh well…!?!

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work, and filled all the remaining BURNT stockings then turned with a jerk.

And laying his finger aside of his nose, he picked out the booger and up the chimney he rose.

He staggered to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle, and away they all flew like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him explain, as he drove out of sight, “DON’T tell anyone and have a good night.”

Happy Christmas!!!

Until Later…

The Corners of my Mind



Around and around, the wind blows through the corners of my mind.

Memories of times past fill the darkened cavities,

While streams of sugarplums dance in others, Still…

Around and around the wind blows through the corners of my mind.


Crevasses fill with the darkness of despair,

While others, filled with life’s hope.

Oh, to choose the journey through these synapses, Wandering…

Around and around, the wind blows through the corners of my mind.

If I Were but a Fan

While this seems like a lighthearted poem, it is really a metaphor for how we wish our lives could be. Does this sound like YOU?


If I were but a fan,

From high above, I’d fly.

To spin and whirl, and twist and swirl,

And to cool those who’re warm and dry.


If I were but a fan,

From a ceiling I’d look down.

To view the day, as children play,

Beneath my blades of brown.    


If I were but a fan,

I would comfort, cool and fly.

To pass the days, and be amazed,

As life just flows on by.


If I were but a fan,

No worries, have I, responsibilities not a one.

My life is Scott free, as I spin happily,

Just around and around having fun.