Sex, Masturbation and Master Slave

 

Dear Internet

 I use you each and every day and I don’t understand why you give me prompts for writing that suggest- Sex, Master Slave, and Masturbation. Yes, while it is true that I occasionally talk about Sex and Masturbation, I hardly EVER discusses my Master Slave proclivities.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t MIND talking about Master slave situations, it’s just that I don’t write about it that often to have my writing suggestions use this subject. I would much rather have my suggestions include Just Ask Sooz, or perhaps Sooz’s Fractured Fairy Tales.

Hell, even those stories about getting drunk or having drunken sex would be better. Preferably, the best suggestions would be about-Rainbows, Unicorns, and World Peace. OK, look, I would probably sprinkle these subjects with Sex, Masturbation, and perhaps Master Slave proclivities, BUT, I would much rather see the above in print as suggestions.

 I am finished bitching now, I realize you are just doing your due diligence when it comes to offering suggestions for all your writers. I promise to play nice from now on and will just take your suggestions as written. I humbly apologize for being a sexy depraved woman, who loves engaging in continuous masturbation, and will write more about my sexual Master Slave occurrences to live up to my suggestive matter.

 

Regards,

Sooz

P.S. My hands are in my pants as we speak… FU!!!!

 

 

 

Rotten Tomatoes Score—WHAT??

Before I go off ranting and raving like a complete lunatic out of Jekyll and Hyde, let me just apologize for not writing on a regular basis. School is keeping me pretty busy and I have not been able to write as often as I would like.

Quick note though, so far, I have all A’s and am enjoying my “LATE” experience in academia very much. This was probably the best thing I have ever done, even though it remains very trying at times.

I absolutely LOVE the campus and the people here are all very friendly. The course material is hard, but peaks my interest in a way that I could never imagine possible.

Usually, one of the only things I can enjoy in my spare time is going to the movies on the weekend. I have always been a huge movie Nerd and today I come to you with a rant that indulges my Nerdiness.

Last weekend, I wanted to go and see a movie. Like most everyone, I looked at my phone to get the reviews on the movies that were out. Well, after reading the reviews, my spirits dropped, as most all of them were booed by the critics.

I checked The Rotten Tomato scores and again, most were very poor. Dejected, I turned to the fan reviews, here, I saw a completely different story. The fans LOVED most of the movies out that I wanted to see.

I did a little research and found that The Rotten Tomato scores are derived from the CRITICS reviews…WHY??? Shouldn’t they be judged on the PEOPLES reviews of the movies?

Armed with the fan reviews, I ventured out to see The Accountant starring Ben Affleck. Well, guess what??? I LOVED the movie. Let me say that from NOW on, I will NOT be reading the critics reviews but the FAN reviews.

Let’s change the Rotten Tomato scores so they fall under the FANS jurisdiction. If we’re being honest, in MY opinion, this is the ONLY opinion that really counts. Let’s face it, ANYONE can write a BAD review, let’s have someone who actually is ENTERTAINED by the movies give us the “CORRECT” scores.

Thanks for listening; this is just MY two cents worth.

 

 

Brad and Angelina—Back Off Press

Yes, it’s true that Angelina –Jolie filed for divorce against her husband of two years Brad Pitt. Here’s the thing though folks, divorce is a sad thing and shouldn’t be a media circus.

If we’re honest, marriage is supposed to be an everlasting union, NOT a media event for everyone ELSE to whoop and holler, and carry on like it’s the biggest thing since French Toast and Maple Syrup.

Personally, I feel sorry for both of them. After all, they actually have been together for 14 years now, and have 6 kids to love and tend to. How in the HELL is the media frenzy gonna make that any easier.

Let’s face it, Brad is being hounded, Angelina is being hunted down like a wounded animal for comment, JUST so the “PEOPLE” can get their noses filled with what really happened in their marriage.

I say, leave them the HELL alone, and let THEM figure it out. In MY opinion, there should NOT be any “THRILL” in having two people who have loved each other for 14 years be tortured and hunted for comments.

Just because they are Hollywood Legends, does NOT give the press, the right to Enhance their pain that they are both going through. Leave them alone and let them sort out their OWN problems.

This is MY two cents worth.

Until Later…

 

 

Why Do We HAVE the Olympics

I realize the Olympics have been around since 776 BC, but they were playing for a religious reason, to honor the gods of Olympus. Today, let’s be honest, we are playing for the almighty BUCK!!!

Seriously, think about it, the USA is DOMINATING the Olympics by almost 22+ goals…Hello, doesn’t this piss off the other countries who have been working just as hard if not harder than the USA to win those gold medals?

Is it REALLY for brotherhood and acceptance of other countries, cultures and ideologies…NO!!! Is it about the ALMIGHTY Buck…Yes!!! Should it BE about the ALMIGHTY Buck…NO!!!

Now, does that mean I don’t like the Olympics, no, I just believe that it should become a show-off game for the USA, and THAT my friends, pisses me off. Since everybody playing in the games are now professional athletes, they should get PAID accordingly, at least THEN, if they don’t medal, they still come away with a paycheck, something of recognition for their sacrifice.

Most all the BUCKS go to the networks, and sponsors for setting them up, the players get BUPKIS!!! I ask you, does THIS seem fair? Every other greedy finger is greased EXCEPT the players.

I’ll tell you what, if I was a pretty and skilled half naked volleyball gal or perhaps Bad mitten cutie, I would DEMAND to be paid. Hell, if there is a possibility I am NOT going to get the gold, I at least want a piece of the pie for playing. Hey, that’s fair.

Ever wonder why you have never seen ME showin’ my tits or ass, no bucks, no peaky. Oh yeah, PLUS, I have no skills for the Olympics. Oh well, I guess I’ll just shut up now and turn on the tube, boxing is on…

Have a good one everyone…

 

Once Upon a Time

Once upon a time a long, long time ago…

My Conscience:   Oh come ON Sooz, the story you are about to tell happened to you yesterday.

Me:    Well, OK, but I ALWAYS like to tell my stories THAT way.

My Conscience:    Get with the program girl, this is the REAL world NOT Fractured Fairy Tales…

Me:   Well, OK then, it was yesterday. THERE…Feel better now?????????

My Conscience:   Yes, now get on with the damn story, I’m busy here.

 

Anyway, so YESTERDAY, I was grocery shopping, and when I came out with my purchases, I noticed that someone had key scratched my car. Now that wasn’t bad ENOUGH, but there was a note on my car that read “This is what you get for being a Lesbo. This must mean that it was someone who knows me, right?

I was so mad I called the police, when they came; they said they couldn’t do anything about it as there were no witnesses. I could have spit glass I was so angry. Who would do something like this? Where is Humanity going anyway?

First of all the purps. screwed up because I am a bisexual being, assholes. It’s a good thing I didn’t see them do it or their lives would have been Hell from then on.

I called my insurance company and I will be out 500.00 for my deductible, but they will cover it. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sometimes people just really piss me off. Sorry, I am STILL fuming.

 

 

Being Unemployed Sucks

From the above title, you can probably imagine what my topic is today, yup, that’s right, it’s about being unemployed. Interesting really, I haven’t been unemployed since I was a wee lass, what the Hell does one DO all day while being in this state? God, it’s like watching PAINT dry.

I have read pretty much ALL the newspapers I can find, cleaned my home so clean you can now literally EAT off of ANY surface you want, including the toilet.

I have fed the homeless till they can eat no more, I think the only thing I haven’t done is join Habitat for Humanity, remember the “Tool” thingy? I can NOT be trusted with hammers, sharp looking objects, or Nail gun thingies that go BANG in the night.

Thank God school will be starting soon. That I can handle, along with all the good looking professors that I’m sure that will come my way. At least I still have my Brazil project to check up on as often as I want. Man, WHO can STAND being unemployed?

This just feels really weird. I have sold my business, and got a place to live, so all I am waiting on is for the school to accept one high strung, red headed Irishman amongst their tight knitted little college.

Look out Stanford, Sooz is coming…

 

I Must Speak Out

 

I can stand it no more, Donald Trump must GO!!! Usually I don’t get involved in political rhetoric because, well, that’s what is is, “Dribbling at the mouth”.  However, when you say such things as, Things could have gone quite differently if the people at the club were armed, that in my opinion is just showing your stupidity.

Look, I believe in the Constitution, but is “The Donald” really saying that we should go back 100 years to the gun toting days of the old west? Come ON Trump.

Certainly everybody is entitled to his/her opinions, but, when it comes to turning our backs on civilization and strappin’ on our guns, where does it end? Should there have been armed guards at the door, or metal detectors, maybe, but to just strap on a gun is just plain ludicrous.

Terrorism CAN NOT be tolerated. We must make an example of ISIS and show them the Tiger’s teeth of a STRONG nation. NO MORE messing around, EVERY life is precious, senseless loss is just unforgivable. We must be strong in our resolve, vigilant in our everyday lives, and stop terrorism BEFORE it occurs.

Perhaps we need to learn different tactics in order to thwart these deadly attacks. I am NOT a candidate, otherwise I would give you MY views on how to stop these heinous acts, but I’ll leave THAT to our new Presidential candidates, God help them.

Just let me say that my prayers and thoughts go out to all the victims and their families. May these poor souls rest in peace, and May God’s light shine upon them…

God Bless America…

Is it Easier to Kill an Idea, or a Mockingbird

Hmmmmmmm…I’ve given this some careful thought about this and I’ve decided, “Really, Who Cares?” What I’ve really come here today to you talk about is…Gum Disease, No I didn’t, I came to talk about 500 Questions from TV.

For those of you who don’t know, this was a TV quiz show asking only “geniuses” a multitude of questions. The show’s premise is to see if ANYONE can answer 500 questions.

It turns out that since the show was on, (One week), NOBODY did it. My question is, why just one week, I mean it pulled me in to see how many questions I could answer. By the way, I was answering around 80% of the supposed Einstein questions on the show. Why not at least have the show on for at LEAST a season?

I personally believe the longer the show runs, then the Network can make even more money in sponsorship. Sometimes I just don’t understand the Moguls at the Network… I guess that’s why I’ve never had any interest in investing in them…

Wake up Networks…This genius wants to see more…

Until Later…

Much Ado About Nothing

 

Over the past few days, outrage from conservative animal groups have been all up in arms over the shooting of Harambe, the gorilla who was shot and killed after a three year old boy slipped and fell into the gorilla cage.

Am I sorry the gorilla had to be shot and killed, of course I am, I donate thousands to the SPCA every year, the thing I DON’T understand, is why so many people are yelling and screaming that the Cincinnati Zoo killed the gorilla.

Look people….HELLLLLLLLLLOOOOOO, we are talking about Human life here. Should the cages been more well protected, sure, but in MY opinion, we can’t fault the zoo for saving a Human life.

What most folks don’t understand, is that a tranquilizer gun, what many people were calling for, only WORKS if it pierces the skin, and then, at best, it takes TIME for the drugs to take effect. There was NO time, only quick thinking and decisive action were required.

Was the gorilla just treating the child like one of his own, maybe, but there was NO way in Hell to be able to make that call in a split second decision. I applaud the response, and hopefully these situations will be more well protected going forward.

 

Hilary a “Fashion” Statement…Ahhh NO

OMG!!! People, it is time to rise up and vote DOWN bad fashion. Look Hillary, the 60’s called, they want their pants suits back. If I see her in one more pants suit, I’m gonna gag!!!!!!

This woman just doesn’t get fashion. I’m sorry Hillary, it’s true. I am afraid that I can just NOT vote for ANYONE who is still stuck in the era of free love. I mean if you’re gonna wear something like that, at LEAST have your Bong loaded and your VW Bus with all kinds of psychedelic swirls on it parked in the lot.

I could ALMOST vote for you if you TALKED like a NORMAL 60’s person spoke. Using lots of “LIKES” and “COOL” and GNARLY MAN in sentences. I’m sorry, the outdated pant suits drive me crazy. Even when I’ve taken 10 or 11 hits on my Bong. YIKES!!!

Here’s a thought, give me a call, and I would be glad to run your campaign.  No, I wouldn’t tell you what to say or do, you already HAVE a fucked up handle on THAT already, I would just bring you back into the REAL world with dresses, blouses that match, and at YOUR age, pantyhose for God’s sake.

Ahhhh, there, I feel better now…Hillary, if you’re reading me, give me a jingle, let’s talk…

Until Later…