Dear Mr. Dickens:
We are in receipt of your book, A Christmas Carol, and after closely reading your novella, I am afraid we must decline publishing your story.
Said reasons for not publishing are as follows:
Christmas is supposed to be a HAPPY TIME, and your Scrooge character is undoubtedly the WORST Human being who ever set foot on the planet. I must admit, he scared the living be-Jesus out of me when he started talking about debtors prisons.
I know what you’re going to say, he transforms himself LITTERALY overnight with the help of three spirits, REALLY??? As IF that could remotely be possible. It just isn’t believable.
Now, let’s talk about the three ghosts, they also scared me half to death, and I am WELL over thirty. Just think about how a child will react to this book, Hell, they will never sleep AGAIN. Especially the NON speaking Spector, this one chilled me to the bone.
I must say Mr. Dickens, while it was a fast read, I am afraid that the language you used, and the picture you paint regarding Tiny Tim was very disconcerting. Indeed, I hope that going forward, you formulate a better AND more BELIEVABLE story line.
If you wish to revisit and edit your book, we will be more than happy to take another look. Certainly we wish you every success, and perhaps do business with you in the future, Good day sir.
Bullshit, Bullshit, and Bullshit Publishers