Dear Diary

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Dear Diary:

It’s midnight and as usual, I am wasted drunk. Ya know, the funny thing is, I LIKE being in a constant state of intoxication. Oh sure, sometimes I pee myself, or fall asleep and wake up on the floor, but really, the hardest part is waking up after a good drunk with all the awful effects.

What I really hate, is the feeling  like a train has run over me and my mouth is all fuzzy. Sure, I can always out drink it, but it takes between 6 and 8 shots before the headache subsides and I start to feel good again.

The question I always ask myself is WHY? My mother was a drunk and I swore I would never be like her, now look at me, a living breathing replica of my mother. The only difference is that I am a smart and rich drunk, big deal.

Why is it I ask myself that I enjoy being intoxicated? I am good looking, like to fuck, and love both men AND women, so why do I NEED alcohol? I believe it must be because somewhere in my life, I must feel insecure.

Sure, the money is great, but as stated, ‘It doesn’t buy happiness’. How true that is. I would much rather have a good woman, or man beside me, sharing in my joys and helping me when I’m down.

I have friends but, THEY don’t usually share a bed with me and discuss the future. I need someone to love me for WHO I am and what I’m about, someone who can love me unconditionally, and accept me for who I am with all my faults. Is THAT even possible?

And WHY am I rambling on to you Dear Diary, I guess it’s just the alcohol taking over at this point. For those who may read this, please don’t feel sorry for me, just try and understand me.

Well, I really can’t see to type anymore, so I guess I’ll just go to bed and pass out. Thanks for listening to all my tales of woe Diary; you’re a good sounding board. Good Night!!!

Until later…

 

 

 

 

Sooz’s Diary

Dear Diary:

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The last time I checked, I was a happy 40ish something person. I love life, like to party, and well, be the party girl type I guess. Sure, I have faults just like anyone else, but, I also love people…Literally AND figuratively.

Sometimes this gets me into trouble. Let’s take the other night for example, I went to a club, got a little tipsy, (OK, I was blasted), and hooked up with this real cute Doctor.

I went back to his place where he offered me more booze, naturally, in my condition, I said yes and wound up the next day with my clothes off, and some semen swimming around in my privates.

Did he wear a condom…DUH!!! What the hell is wrong with me? This damn oversexed twat of mine just CAINT say no. I googled said “DOCTOR” and it turns out that my Dr. Friend is really a Limo driver. UGH!!! When will I EVER LEARN???

So, I sobered up, called my driver and went home. This is my dark side. I can be very nice, help the poor, donate my sober time, and even sponsor charities, however, I still love to **** too much and I must say, after I’ve been drinking, I am NOT very responsible.

Some of you may say, “You’re going to get a disease”, and of course you would be right. You name it, and I have had it at one time or another. Recently, I have just been lucky.

So, what do I do, wear a chastity belt, stay away from the Human population, sew my twat shut…What?  For one, I realize the drinking accelerates my sexual drive. I have to learn how to control it, thus control the sex cravings. HOW is the BETTER question.

Yes, I know, AA, therapy, etc. All of these I have tried and to no avail. UGH! I’m afraid I am just in for a life full of lucky chances and night after blues. Maybe in my NEXT life…

Until Later…

 

 

Some Like it Hot

Gently touching your lips while I feel cup your breasts, my mind reels.

My legs are spread wide as you softly work your fingers down my thigh.

The heart pounds from the sensation of your body, soft as pillows.

Wetness forms around my garden, awaiting your mouth to pleasure me.

 

My breasts are yours, encircled by your tongue, and gently biting my nipples.

When will she get to my glory box, I think, sucking me dry while licking my forbidden button.

Kisses, slowly repeating down my inner thighs, while my body quivers in ecstasy.

I start to pant now as she works her fingers in and out of my glory hole, all the while, licking up, and around my pleasure button.

 

I am hers, I surrender as I scream out into the night, Yes, Yes, Yes!!!

It becomes no longer possible to contain my excitement, I inhale, and give her my soul.

Screaming out like a banshee, I explode like a thousand pounds of dynamite, filling the night with the relief of a lifetime.

Quiet now, I retrn the pleasure, and the music plays on.

 

 

 

 

Sooz’s Diary-The Realization

It was the Summer of my discontent, I was 10, school had ended for the year, and I had begged my mother at least 2 weeks before, if I could attend the carnival that St. Andy’s was having today. It was actually St. Andrews, but I always thought it was a stuffy and snotty name, so I called it St. Andy’s.

For at least 2 weeks I had been looking forward to going, as it was always a good time. Lots of food and drinks, games, and oh yes, also the rides which I loved. Mum had said yes that she would go with me, so here I was, dressed and ready for some fun.

It was 11 AM when I went downstairs into the living room, and saw my mother passed out drunk on the couch. My hopes and dreams were once AGAIN dashed by the ravages of alcohol.

At first, I started to cry, but then I remembered that my Aunt Carol said she too was going. Quickly, I ran to the phone and called her. Explaining what had happened, she advised me that indeed I could go with her and my cousins.

I left a detailed note, got my jacket, and went to wait outside for my Aunt Carol. I could hear the roar of that old station wagon all the way down at the end of my driveway, as it slowly meandered around the corner to pick me up.

Always with a smile on her face, Aunt Carol welcomed me, and away we went to the carnival. As promised, we went on all the rides, lost some money on games, and ate till my stomach seemed like it would burst.

It was the best day, even if Mum couldn’t be there to enjoy it with us. After that experience, I KNEW I couldn’t count, on my mum for anything. I was the leader of the family now at ten years of age.

This day had become an awakening for me. I realized that my Mum had an illness, and that because of unfortunate circumstances, I was elected to be HER care giver. At times, we lived on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches while she continued to drink herself into oblivion. Many nights I went to bed hungry, as Mum didn’t go out to buy food. It was always my Aunt Carol who would come over with groceries, cook the food, and while there, would see to it that Mum always went to bed clean. That woman was a Saint.

I knew from that tender age that I would NEVER end up like this ever again. Knowing that school was my best avenue out, I studied hard, learned as much as I could, and swore to myself that I would MAKE something of my life. Continued…

 

 

Sooz’s Diary

Dear Diary:

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To write, or NOT to write, that is my dilemma today. You see, I want to tell about my adventures while in Europe, but some of them are extremely steamy. It seems that my pussy just never wants to quit.

I’m going to pass this over to my readers and let THEM make the decision for me. If you DO want me to write, then I must warn you, some of the content should be rated triple X.

It’s all in the reader’s hands now, let’s see what THEY decide.

P.S. Guess where my HAND and fingers are right now???

J

 

Sooz’s Diary

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Dear Diary:

As I write these words I am curious to that of Human Nature. Some people see me as a former captain of industry, and now a student redefining her life, others, see me as a drunken whore and a woman without conscience.

It’s almost as if I have two separate personalities, and yet, I am merely a woman, nothing more and nothing less. Yes, I have faults and talents like the rest of Humanity, and yes, my feelings can be hurt, and believe it or not, cut me and I bleed just like you do.

Why is it that MANY want my persona to be the drunk and sexual Nymphomaniac? Is it because I am easy after I am drunk, and they can just have their way with me? Helene, perhaps I should send a letter to Just Ask Sooz and find out.

The truth is I AM an alcoholic who IS a Nymphomaniac. I have had my ups and downs with the alcohol, but my sexual response is one in which I have never been able to quell.

Does this mean I don’t have a conscience…NO. I DO have a conscience, one in which I wrestle with each and every day. Why, because it is BECAUSE of my increased sexual arousal that I have created many unhappy people.

If there is a Hell will I burn there for eternity, I HOPE not, and yet, I still can’t seem to control my urges. Should I be doomed for something that is incurable? I don’t know, I wonder about these things a lot.

All this worry is probably just for naught however. If there is a final judgement, I guess I’ll just have to wait and find out the fate that surrounds me. If there is NO final judgement, then I guess I won’t have to worry about these matters.

I guess the best thing I can do is to live my life the best way I know how, and help those who are less fortunate than I am. This way I can at least hedge my bets… Hehehehe.

Until Later Diary…