Shades of Hell

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As I sit here by the banks of the river Styx, I peer out into the cold and empty darkness.

Fear fills my body, and the sadness from a thousand lifetimes sift through my brain.

I am alone; waiting for the inevitable finality, my conscience must be examined.

 

Woe to those who have the curse of breasts, pleasant to the sight, and tempting to the touch.

Few have seen without being condemned to its pleasures of lascivious gesture. Many have I called, but only a few have ignored my siren’s cry.

Woe again to those who have felt my passion, and have become a pinnacle of Lust’s desire; within my womb, there lays a contemptuous fire, ignited by the curse of my heated loins, tempting both men and women into my Devil’s cavern.

I pray that Hades will judge me NOT by his pitchfork of revenge, but by the actions I have done worth the merit of forgiveness. Seek Yee not shall I ask for his forgiveness, only the mercy he commands necessary.

 

The Struggle

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Oh ravaged wings of time,

Return me not to the trials and tribulations of demons past, but

Release me from the evils that play upon my mind.

Let my strength be my guide, and thy will, to be my sword.

 

While the fruit of nature’s poison tempts my very soul,

Let me be steadfast and true to my body’s innocence.

Guide me along the path of righteousness,

And release me from the evils of a bygone time.

 

Carry me upon thy wings,

And secure my spirit with thy grace.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just Ask Sooz

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Dear Sooz:

I am writing you today because I am at the end of my rope. My husband served in Afghanistan and was killed by an IED a few years ago. At first, I was in shock, and the grief didn’t have time to sink in yet.

Immediately after the burial, a wall of sadness hit me hard and has remained with me until today. I have gone to my parish minister for help but as much as he tries, it still hasn’t helped to relieve my pain.

I just don’t even feel like getting up in the morning. I feel alone and hopeless. I am just moving on from day to day, and drinking myself to sleep at night. You are my last link, please help me.

Sad Sack

 

Dear Sad Sack:

First, let me say how sorry I am for your loss. I also want to say that your husband died a HERO and I support his choice to defend this fine country. As for you, everyone deals with grief in their own way. You “Seem” to be in a state of major depression.

The first thing I would have you do is to see your own Dr. Perhaps in the short time, he/she can prescribe something to take the edge of your depression if that’s what he diagnoses.

Secondly, I am sending you a few support group pamphlets with other folks in your situation. Many times just talking with others about THEIR grief makes YOU feel better. I would definitely recommend this for you.

The other thing I would recommend is to get up relatively early, say 7 or 8AM and plan your day the night before. If you like looking at Art Galleries, then do that, shopping, Work, etc., just get OUT and DO something. This should help take your mind off your grief.

Time will eventually heal your wound, but for now, you must try and help yourself. Good luck.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Does Your Drinking Match Your Social Ineptness

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For years, I have always perceived myself as being a social cast-a-way. Now, I realize for those who read me, you may see me as flamboyant, aggressive, and a total type A personality. Well, in truth, those emotions, or traits WERE there, but were only displayed from being intoxicated.

Now, when I was drinking, I was pretty much drunk all the time, but, from years of heavy drinking, I would seem absolutely normal. Oh sure, if you came up to me and smelled my breath, you would smell the vodka behind many various mints and mouth sprays, but you would never KNOW that I had been drinking all along.

I’m certainly not a psychiatrist, but, MY psychiatrist says I drank from a fear of abandonment. When my father killed himself and my mother was such a mess, I had lost the only close knit family I knew, until my Aunt Carol came along and helped pick up the pieces. She, from that time on, was the only GOOD thing in my life.

Even with my Aunt Carol though, I always felt alone and socially inept. Drinking was a crutch that helped fix that sense of loneliness and the alcohol seemed to help make me feel more socially in tune with others.

It was all fun and games for a while until the booze started taking over my life. I no longer just wanted a drink to more sociable; I NEEDED that drink now to do what it did so well.

The years rolled by and so did my drinking skills. Now, I could drink vast amounts of liquor and still APPEAR sober. Only I knew the vicious circle I was getting sucked into. A drink or three in the morning, then again at work to get me through the day, drunk at night until I would pass out, sometimes peeing myself and embarrassed when awakening. I was a mess, but I would start the whole thing all over again the next morning.

I guess what I am saying is, if you ARE or see yourself in these same scenarios, stop, take a good hard look at yourself and ask yourself WHY? WHY am I doing this? If you can, throw out the alcohol, join an AA group, and get yourself a good sponsor. Without a good sponsor I would have gone right back to drinking again. Every day I get up, I STILL wanna drink, it’s only by the grace of God and a good sponsor that I am still on the straight and narrow.

Hopefully this has helped someone, if not, well, at least thank you for listening to my story…

Sooz

 

Just Ask Sooz

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Dear Sooz:

I have a problem; I’m a single mom with 5 kids, 3 boys and 2 girls. I work 2 jobs Sooz to try and make ends meet, I get home tired, and I am continuously yelling and disciplining them, usually the boys. I am at my wits end and I’m afraid that I will do something I shouldn’t.

I love my kids, but the stresses of everyday life are getting beyond me. My kids are 8,7,5,3, and 1. It seems as though there is no way out, and I don’t know what to do. Can you help me?

At Wits End

 

Dear At Wits End:

First of all, you need a break. Do you have ANYONE who could watch your brood for a couple of days while you recuperate? Secondly, while I am sure money is tight; I would definitely recommend some professional counseling.

I am enclosing the names and phone numbers of a couple of professionals that I know in your area who will evaluate your case Pro-Bono. You may just get the counseling you need for free.

PLEASE call one of them as I believe you could really use someone to talk with about your situation. Hey, they may also be able to recommend a good support group for you that should help ease your burden.

Believe me, they’re people out there that WANT to help you, LET THEM. Please let me know what you decide to do as I am very concerned. Thank you and good luck.

 

Dear Daddy

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Dear Daddy

It’s just about Father’s Day and I am sitting here thinking of you. God, time goes by quickly doesn’t it? It seems like just yesterday that you were here, hugging me, and teaching me about life and the world.

A lot has happened since you have passed daddy, I assumed control of a large Ad Firm, and became its CEO. As you taught me, I have always attempted to be fair and upfront with people, and myself.

Remember when you used to take me to the shelters to feed the poor, well, just so you know, I have continued your work there and it really DOES give me pleasure, and also pause. It has kept me grounded through the most trying times in my life. Thank you for that valuable gift.

Now for the weird part daddy, after all the time, money, and energy it took to acquire my company, I have given it all up to help people in the Psychology field. I KNOW, right? Sometimes I can’ figure it out myself.

I have started a Just Ask Sooz advice column, which I write for several blogs, and people have written me back saying how much they appreciated my advice. It gives me a warm feeling when I can help someone daddy, a gift that YOU gave me.

I am starting back to school in the fall for a graduate degree in Psychology and I am really looking forward to it. I hope you are proud of me daddy, I have tried so hard to follow in your footsteps, but I realize it’s difficult, because you had such big shoes to fill.

I miss you daddy, I think of you every day, especially in times of trouble. I keep asking myself, “What would daddy do in this or that situation?” I hope you are in Heaven cause you certainly deserve to be.

Please look after me daddy, keep me on the straight and narrow, and as always, help me to be like the man you were. God Bless you, and be at peace.

Love,

Your Princess

 

I Must Speak Out

 

I can stand it no more, Donald Trump must GO!!! Usually I don’t get involved in political rhetoric because, well, that’s what is is, “Dribbling at the mouth”.  However, when you say such things as, Things could have gone quite differently if the people at the club were armed, that in my opinion is just showing your stupidity.

Look, I believe in the Constitution, but is “The Donald” really saying that we should go back 100 years to the gun toting days of the old west? Come ON Trump.

Certainly everybody is entitled to his/her opinions, but, when it comes to turning our backs on civilization and strappin’ on our guns, where does it end? Should there have been armed guards at the door, or metal detectors, maybe, but to just strap on a gun is just plain ludicrous.

Terrorism CAN NOT be tolerated. We must make an example of ISIS and show them the Tiger’s teeth of a STRONG nation. NO MORE messing around, EVERY life is precious, senseless loss is just unforgivable. We must be strong in our resolve, vigilant in our everyday lives, and stop terrorism BEFORE it occurs.

Perhaps we need to learn different tactics in order to thwart these deadly attacks. I am NOT a candidate, otherwise I would give you MY views on how to stop these heinous acts, but I’ll leave THAT to our new Presidential candidates, God help them.

Just let me say that my prayers and thoughts go out to all the victims and their families. May these poor souls rest in peace, and May God’s light shine upon them…

God Bless America…

Poetry by Sooz

Oh withered tree, I cry out from beneath your pillars of wood, a lonely song.

I was a man,  a husband, father and a patriot.

Dutifully resigned by sworn oath,

To serve,  protect and defend my country.

 

Going to war, many times I realized not only its savage fury,

But the pointlessness of killing my fellow man,

For the sake of an ideology,

Or the consumption of power.

 

I rest now, hit by insanities bullet,

I lie beneath this oak,

My thoughts remain,

Yet, with hurt feelings of being forsaken by others.

 

Remember, I am the reason today’s freedom rings on.

Celebrate MY sacrifice,

Through the remembrance of of my fellow brethren,

And perhaps a prayer, to renew MY faith, and for an end to ALL conflict.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Memorial Day Tribute

While I was never in the armed forces, like all Americans, I have ALWAYS been proud of the job they do to keep our country free. They work long hours, sometimes in extreme temperatures both hot and cold, to make sure that our God given freedoms are protected.

I personally know several men and women, as I’m sure you do also, who have left their loved ones to go and fight in either Afghanistan, or Iraq. Can you imagine how hard that must be?

 For many Americans, it only becomes a small part of our lives when we see the bloodshed, and the ravages of war when posted on TV. Many others celebrate without a thought while enjoying  picnics, family gatherings, or just in house Bar-B-Q’s.

People, let us NOT forget what this day celebrates. We SHOULD be honoring the memories of these brave souls who have given THEIR lives, to protect ours. Let me say that I am not only PROUD to be an American, I am also GRATEFUL for the service those brave men and women have given us.

May your soul and the souls of your families be at peace, and may God’s mercy and light shine upon you now, and for all eternity. I salute you.

 

The Winds of Change

 

The winds of change are blowing as we drift along  a stormy sea.
Many have heard them, but few have listened. 
Quiet contentment lays dormant at our feet, yet, uneasy waters stir.
Blind ambition fills our lives and wreaks havoc with our very souls.

Woe is he who has tasted the supper of life’s temptations,
for he is but a shadow of a lasting soul.
Blessed is he who has the gift of patience,
For he is the bearer of eternal peace.

Heed the winds of change, embrace their fury,
And forever be subject to their domain.
Time’s law can not be broken,
Yet those who bear witness, survive.

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