A Trip to the Zoo

Image result for Sandiego zoo

I went to the zoo today and saw a lot of strange things, funny thing is, the animals were fine, it was the patrons that were whacked out. I spotted a family of 4 with the adults feeding the bears apples. Never mind that there is a clear and HUGE sign in front of the cage that says Do NOT feed the bears.

A while later, I saw an adult woman tapping at the Gorilla cage, again, a sign clearly posted not to tap on glass. What the hell is wrong with people anyway? Is there some kind of “Sign Ignorance”, or are they basically saying “Fuck You, I’ll do whatever the Hell I want to”?

I don’t know, it was such a gorgeous day outside and all I wanted to do was watch a few of the animals and relax…But Nooooooooooooooooo!!!!! People around me had to be assholes and disobey all the signs.

It really annoys me when people show disrespect to the poor animals, look at the message they are sending their kids. I realize I am on a soapbox here, but I can’t help it. There are just so many rude and stupid people walking around…GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!

 

A Tale of Two Women

Image result for two women drinking wine

A glorious night in Paris, sitting in a small cafe, drenched in the moonlight of love, and soaking up the ambiance of the most romantic city in the world, she happened. I could tell by the smell of her perfume, and the clothes she wore, like a woman possessed to make a mark on my heart, that I would be a goner.

She came up and introduced herself as Bella, (A name meaning beautiful), and said she had been watching me. I seemed to have a forlorn look upon my face as if I needed a friend. I replied,”I can ALWAYS use a friend, please sit down”.

We talked and laughed and she suggested we go back to her flat for some wine. Normally, I would have refused the wine, but I KNEW this evening would wind up being a night to remember so I quickly accepted.

Her flat was small but very well decorated. She mentioned she worked for one of the local television stations as a producer, and I gave her MY life history the more wine I drank.

After 4 bottles of terrific Merlot, we were both pretty wasted. She asked if I liked fruit and I said “sure, who doesn’t”. She poured me another glass of liquid love and she disappeared into the kitchen.

About 5 min. later, she came back with an assortment of delicious fruit stacked onto a beautiful serving dish. “Wow”, I said as I reached for a strawberry.

Bella reached and caught my hand as I was about to place the fruit into my mouth. “That’s MY job”, she said with a sexy look and removed it from my hand. She took the strawberry, squeezed it a little so some of the juice ran down her hand and she said “close your eyes and let ME feed it to you”.

Drunk and ready for love, I closed my eyes and she teased me with the fruit. Sticking it in my mouth from her lips, she twirled her luscious tongue around the fruit and then around my tongue sending chills down to my Pussy.

I was as wet as the river Seine, and I wanted her. Earlier, while she was in the kitchen, I had removed my pants and unbuttoned my top buttons to expose my best assets and spread my legs wide open for her to hopefully notice and get hot also.

The message I sent was clear, she took a banana and slipped it inside my panties. She played with that banana, touching and rubbing my clit  all over, until finally inserting it in my vagina.

Oh my God, I wanted to cum so bad, but I tried the best I could to hold it together. Then, she took the banana out ever so slowly, put it in my mouth and said “SUCK ME”.

I did as she said, placed my hands on her firm but small breast, kissing them and rotating my tongue around her nipples, and then right down to her clit I went, kissing and sucking it while inserting my tongue into her wet pussy.

I took a cherry from the tray, placed it in her love canal, took it out, and sucked it before I devoured it. I took my middle finger, sucked it, and wet her anus with my love juice.

While sticking my finger up her anus, I licked her, and sucked her, until she screamed out with pleasure. She collapsed in ecstasy while fingering my clit. She then came down on me and with a vengeance stroked and sucked until I also came into the night with a scream of pleasure.

We saw each other for two weeks while I was in her fair city, unfortunately, I had business dealings in other cities, and had to say good bye. We exchanged numbers and have talked since. Who knows, one day I might just move to Paris.

 

Sooz’s Diary

Dear Diary:

Image result for very sexy woman

To write, or NOT to write, that is my dilemma today. You see, I want to tell about my adventures while in Europe, but some of them are extremely steamy. It seems that my pussy just never wants to quit.

I’m going to pass this over to my readers and let THEM make the decision for me. If you DO want me to write, then I must warn you, some of the content should be rated triple X.

It’s all in the reader’s hands now, let’s see what THEY decide.

P.S. Guess where my HAND and fingers are right now???

J

 

I’m Back!!!

Just got back from a European trip I was taking to find a new distribution site for a  business I just entered. Exhausted right now after a 12 hr. plane ride but none the worse for wear.

I’ve got some very sexy stories to share with you all, but right now I need a nap. I have missed you all and look forward to talking to all of you soon. My love to all…

Sooz

Just Ask Sooz

Image result for playing the clarinet

Dear Sooz:

Here is my question. Recently, I learned to play the clarinet. Though I have played many instruments, this one was a bit more of a challenge in some ways.

I have played piano in front of large audiences in the past, but, for some reason, when I try to play clarinet for a couple friends it mostly comes out as squeaks and squeals.

My two friends, Pat and Bob, are very supportive, in fact, too supportive at times, but my feelings of inadequacy are starting to affect my musical confidence.

 I am a mess about this because playing the clarinet in the symphony has always been a dream of mine, and one that I can pursue now that I am over my lip balm addiction. What should I do about this? I fear auditioning in front of my peers and looking a fool. Thank you.

 Blowing In The Wind

 

Dear Blowing in the Wind:

A musical instrument is like giving a BJ, practice makes perfect. The more you practice, the better you will get. Good luck.

A List of Things You Can do When Bored

Image result for drunk woman masturbating

Let’s face it, lists are fun. Being bored is NOT fun, so, I decided I would list some things you could do when you are bored. Hopefully, you will enjoy this list.

  1. Masturbate- A fun and simple way to relieve boredom, AND relaxing too.

 

  1. Go Skydiving- This is a real ass kicker and unbelievable experience, hey, “Don’t knock it if you haven’t tried it”.

 

 

  1. Make paper dolls out of an old newspaper…Go on, TRY it.

 

  1. Play with paper dolls after making them. Hehehehehe…I CAUGHT you.

 

 

  1. Try reading a book longer than “War and Peace”.

 

  1. Take a walk in the rain, OR, if you have an arid climate, take a long shower and pretend you are walking in the rain. Hell, you might even make it better by masturbating while you’re in there.

 

 

  1. String paper clips together and see how long of a chain you can make.

 

  1. Eat something, regret what you ate, and repeat.

 

 

  1. Sleep, but, then you would be missing all of the fun activities I’ve already listed.

 

  1. Drink-OK, I KNOW I shouldn’t list this, but, it has always been a good boredom reliever for me, and then, Usually, I masturbate.

 

Limerick by Sooz

Related image

 Limericks have long been used in a more “sensual” manor and being that I love the image, I thought I would write one. Hope you like it… 

 

There once was a woman from Fargut,

Who displayed all her “charms” in the market.

When asked about Clap, She spread open her lap,

Said Penicillin was placed there to trap it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just Ask Sooz

66803199_largeindex

Dear Sooz:

For a while now, I have wondered how broken you have be before you’re too far gone to be saved. I used to think I was too far gone, but then an old friend came back into my life we’ll call him guy x,  and he showed me that I could be loved.

I started to fall for him, but he was stuck between me and another girl. For a while, he flirted with both of us and said he didn’t know which of us to choose. At first, we overlooked it because, well, he was a guy and you know how guys can be.

After I became friends with the other girl, and realized how great of a person she was, that’s when I realized how much pain it was really causing us. At first, I didn’t notice my pain, but when I did,  I pushed it back inside.

I knew I needed to do something for myself, but it still shattered my heart. Now, I am starting to get to be friends with this other guy, we’ll call guy m. I told guy x that we should just go back to being just friends because the other way was causing too much pain.

The other girl introduced me to guy m, and we are still getting to know each other. He is very kind, and funny, and I think I’m starting to like him. Here’s the thing, he likes me, but I’m afraid… What if I fall for him and get hurt, or, what if I’m not good enough? What if he deserves better? What should I do Sooz?

Broken Girl 18

 

Dear Broken Girl 18:

Here is what I have learned through many relationships in life. “Nothing ventured, nothing gained” Life is a crapshoot my dear, being only 18, you will probably get your heart broken several more times before finding Mr. Right.

Don’t let the bad taste of one bad apple sour you on the other apples in the tree. You deserve to be happy, take a chance, fall in love, lust, and have some fun. If it works out, great, if it doesn’t, well,  move on and go to the next man.

Take a chance with guy M and be happy while you can. Good luck.

 

 

 

 

Just Ask Sooz

https://i0.wp.com/dollarstorecrafts.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/voodoo-doll11.jpg

Dear Sooz:

Hello Dreamshadow, I have a question to ask Sooz. It is for my friend, of course. “I work in sales at a company that sells, office supplies. It is a decent job and my coworkers are pretty cool for the most part, but there is this one sales guy who is always very serious and way over the top about everything. 

 My BF also works here and we have been pranking this, “way too serious guy” for years. Keep in mind that these are never truly harmful pranks and he generally takes it well. This one time, we left a voodoo doll on his desk with one pin in it on the right thigh. 

 What he didn’t know is that the metal pin was actually a touch-sensitive contact that activated a small remote vibrating buzzer device that my BF had in his pocket. When the pin was touched, the small device buzzed silently and my BF would yell, “OUCH!” from anywhere in the office and grab his “boo boo”. 

Then BF would rub his thigh and say things like, “I really need to get this checked out.” Mr. Oh-So-Serious began to think he had power over my BF. After a couple days we left a doll that resembled the guy on my BF’s desk. 

 When BF got into the office, he picked it up and when the serious guy noticed, he looked panicked. Later in the day, BF got a cancellation over the phone, and pretended to be upset about it. He jabbed the doll mindlessly with a pair of scissors, missed the torso, and stuck it in the doll’s upper-right arm.

 

The man walked around rubbing his bicep for several hours. This went on for quite a while, and the guy actually ended up stealing the doll. We caught him, and he was super embarrassed, but as you can see it was a truly harmless prank. Lately, we have been running short on pranks. I mean after 10 years of this thing has gotten a bit stale. What should we do SOOZ?

 Devious Prankster

 

Dear Devious Prankster:

Hey, I’ve played MY share of practical jokes on people, but never any that really messed with someone’s head. Why don’t you and your best friend just invite the guy out for a few beers, get to really know him a little better and end all of this tomfoolery.

One of these days you or your best friend may need him for something and would want him to be on YOUR team. Play nice boys, remember, “KARMA is a BITCH”…