Just Ask Sooz

Dear Sooz:

My husband is 32 years old and he works at a strip club. No, he doesn’t dance on the poles, he is a bouncer for the club. At first, this was OK with me because the job paid well and we needed the money. Recently, he has been getting friendly with the girls and they give him their numbers.

We have been married for 10 years now Sooz and he has never strayed. I have heard him on the phome with one of the girls however, after I have already gone to bed. While I understand this may be purely harmless, I just don’t want it to develop into something that will affect our marriage.

I have spoken to him about this already and he just says I’m just being paranoid. What do you say?

Strip Club Blues


Dear Strip Club Blues:

While there MAY be nothing wrong in what he is doing, I really don’t like that “After Hours” phone call. It is just too easy to fall under the spell of some young thing that has nothing to lose.

I would bring this up to him again, let him KNOW how special he is to you, and suggest that he start looking for a different job, preferably something without pretty naked little young things making love to a pole.

A bouncer is a bouncer, and can work just about anywhere. Why be around temptation when you don’t NEED to be. I say it’s better to be SAFE than sorry….I’m with YOU on this one. Good Luck!!!





Just Ask Sooz

Dear Sooz:

I am in a quandary. I have been dating a wonderful girl now for 3 years and am on the verge of asking her to marry me. The problem is, in my mind, I’m not sure if she is “the one”. Sometimes I believe I go off on tangents wondering if there really “is” the perfect girl for me. At 22 years old, I am not sure if I am capable of making that decision. You see, Amanda is the only girl I have dated all through high school.

A year from now I will be entering into medical school for the Navy and I’m sure I will be meeting a lot of other women through the program. I’m wondering if I should ask Amanda to be my wife, as she “seems to be the one” for me, or, just wait, and see if there really “is” that elusive girl of my dreams. What do you think?

Looking For Paradise

Dear Looking For Paradise:

While I personally don’t believe that the PERFECT mate exists, I WOULD caution you on your uncertainty. At 23 years old, while plenty of folks DO decide to get hitched, 50% of those marriages also end in the big D.

Here’s what I suggest. Go to medical school and see what plays out. I’m not saying to stop dating Amanda, just see where your hormones lead you. Who knows, in YOUR mind, you might just discover that there WAS a perfect girl for you, or after medical school, you still might wanna get married to Amanda.

Life is too short to make the wrong choice here. Take a chance on YOUR life and see what happens. Good Luck.

Just Ask Sooz

Dear Sooz:

I need your help. I realize you are not a licensed psychologist, but I read you all the time and have come to like your advice. Here is my problem, my husband’s mother lives with us and she is a real bitch for lack of a better word.

She is only 55 Sooz, she is on disability from an arm problem she suffered at work, and my husband invited her to stay with us while she was recuperating. Let me point out that he did “not” ask me when he did this and she has been “healing” now for 8 months.

The woman s a nagger Sooz, she criticizes how I take care of the house, what I cook, even the clothes I wear. Like I said, she’s a bitch. She has her own house, and I feel it is time she got re-acquainted with it.

Am I being selfish, or am I right? She has finally gotten on my last nerve Sooz; I am about ready to blow. My husband is a Mamma’s boy so I am gonna have to tell her, any suggestions?

Seeing Red in Ohio


Dear Seeing Red in Ohio:

Wow, from the way you describe her, she sounds like a bitch on steroids. With someone like this, BLUNTNESS is usually the only thing that works. There is NO mollycoddling, kick the bitch OUT!!! Explain to her that you “FEEL” it would be better if she goes back to her home now as she is driving you crazy.

Tell her you know she means well, but, she is starting to upset the family dynamic. Afterwards, pick a date, invite her for dinner, offer to go shopping with her, but, just GET HER the HELL OUT!!!

Tell your husband beforehand obviously, and MAKE him understand that while she MAY be a nice person, she is upsetting to you. Odds are he grew up with her so he KNOWS how she can be. Good luck, hope this helps to restore your peace of mind.

Just Ask Sooz

Dear Sooz:

I am a 45 year old man who is in love with a 28 year old woman who is incarcerated. It started when I received a request to be her pen pal. We have communicated now for over a year through letters, phone calls, and e-mails, but, I have not been able to visit her because I myself was jailed once and they won’t permit visitation.

I have purchased gifts for her and she seems to be very appreciative, and she says she wants to live with me when she gets out, which will be within the next 6 months. I am all for this idea, but, I have a 22 year old daughter who lives with me and has no knowledge of her.

I am scared Sooz, and I do not want to hurt my daughter in the process. What should I do?

Prisoner in My Own Mind

Dear Prisoner in My Own Mind:

My question is, “How can you say it’s “LOVE”, all you have done is write letters and make calls to each other. You have never seen her, spent any amount of time with her, and the biggie (In MY mind), have never slept with her. How in HELL do you know if you are even compatible? What do you really KNOW about her.

For example, let me play the Devils advocate here. How “MANY” pen pals does she have? Has she received gifts from them also? Does she give THEM the same story she is giving you? What I’m saying here is how can you be sure she is trustworthy?

Second, you have never seen her, or lived with her, so how can you “KNOW” her heart? Look, I am all for love and marriage, but without knowing more information, I am afraid that I would just recommend to take it slow.

I would inform both your girlfriend AND your daughter about her existence and your feelings. You are probably right in assuming this could hurt your daughter. I mean with a seventeen year age difference to begin with, it would take a special relationship to stick.

As I said, take it slowly, SEE where it goes, and THEN make your decisions. I wish all of you good luck.

Just Ask Sooz

Dear Sooz:

I am a mom who has 2 small children who I will be taking out for Halloween for the first time. Here is my concern, my husband wants to take them around the neighborhood and I am a little leery about doing that.

I would much prefer going to a Community sponsored event where I know things will be safe. What are your thoughts on this one? My husbands reads and respects your replies.


Dear Ghostbuster:

I believe it all depends on the neighborhood where you live. If you live in a safe neighborhood, it is probably fine, just check the candy once you get home to make sure it is still wrapped in the containers.

Discard any items such as popcorn balls or homemade type articles as these could be easily tampered with. Personally, I am for the Community centers that have Halloween sponsered events. There are organized games, music, and the kids seem to have a good time.

Enjoy your Halloween and Ah….Save me the Reeeses Pieces and the KitKats….


Just Ask Sooz

Dear Sooz:

My husband and I have a 16 yearld daughter who has just received her liscence. She is very anxious to drive but has no insurance on her car. We bought her a used car (in our names), with the understanding that she would get her own insurance, to date, this has not happened.

She keeps pressuring us to let her drive, but, if she is involved in an accident without insurance, we could be sued for everything. The problem is that she is a daddy’s girl and she has him wrapped around her finger.

She is working on him to let her run meanial errands for us, as we live in the country and it is a ways from anything. Please let her know that I love her, but, I feel she should hold up her end of the bargain, get a job, and pay for her own insurance. What do you think?

Auto Distressed

Dear Auto Distressed:

As you say, it is HER responsibility to live up to HER part of the bargain now. Under NO circumstances, let her drive that car until it is fully insured. You are absolutely right, if she would be involved in an accident, the burden, if any, would fall entirely upon you and your husband.

At some time, teens need to grow up and be responsible people, it appears HER time is NOW… Good luck…

Just Ask Sooz

Dear Sooz:

I’m a 52 year old woman who has been widowed now for almost 2 years. I have recently met a man and we’ve been dating for the last month. Yesterday, while at the movies, he looked me straight in the eye and asked me to marry him.

Sooz, I didn’t know what to say, I mean it has only been one month. I enjoy his company, and we do get along well together, I am just afraid to make any commitment until I know him better.

He is 4 years my senior and has been married twice already so I am a little leery. I do know that he is well off and would be able to amply provide for me. I am really torn here Sooz, what do you think I should do?


Dear Torn:

I seem to be missing the “L” word here. You state that you “enjoy his company” and “get along well”, but, there is just NO mention of the word love here. While you two are certainly mature adults and know your own minds, I suggest you get to know him better, and wait and see what develops first.

I mean, for all you know, he could be a serial killer, or a guy who picks his nose all day. Get to know him before you take that big leap. If he truly loves you, he will understand and go along with you.

Just don’t jump INTO something before being sure. The fact that you are writing for MY opinion tells me to take it slow, stir the pot first, THEN taste the flavor… I wish you much luck.

Just Ask Sooz

Dear Sooz:

I have a major problem and I need some advice. I am a 34 year old man with a wife and child. Since the birth of my child, my wife has suddelnly lost all interest in sex. I went along with this for six months before I met Lola, not her real name.

We met at a bar, started talking, and before you know it, we were sleeping together. While I am ashamed that I cheated on my wife, my physical urges just took over and I was doomed.

We were together for about a year when one day she advises me that she is pregnant. Now I have gotten myself into a pickle and I don’t know how to get out. You see Sooz, I DO love my wife but I have very strong sexual urges which I need satisfied.

What do you suggest I do?

In a Pickle

Dear in a Pickle:

Have you ever heard of satisfying yourself with your HAND??? First of all, I would take a paternity test to see IF you really are the baby’s father. If you are, you are certainly going to have to pay child support to make sure he/she is raised properly.

As far as your WIFE is concerned, believe me, it is better to explain yourself to her NOW than to have your ex-girlfriend come out with it one day unexpectedly. Maybe if you two are ameniable, you could go to counselling and TRY and work this out.

I know it would be VERY hurtful to ME if I found this sort of thing happened. Own up to it, apologize profusely, and DON’T put the BLAME on your wife. You should have tried to resolve this through a conversation or counselling WELL before this became a mess.

All I can say is I’m glad you came to your senses, and I wish you much luck with this akward situation.

Just Ask Sooz

Dear Sooz:

My husband and I have a bet. He says that you are a syndicated advice columnist under an assumed name for the major newspapers, is that true. If he wins, I have to wash his car every weekend for the next six months. If I win, he has promised to take me on a vacation to Disneyland.

So my dear woman, which is it? Please say that you are not because I so need this trip.


Dear Anxious:

As much as I would like to say I am a syndicated columnist for many popular newspapers, I am NOT. I write this column in my blog only. Now, if you KNOW any editors who would LOVE to have a Talented, Intelligent, Saucy, Funny, Humorist, then please make some calls. I am sitting by the phone.

So, pack your bags and off to Mickey Mouse World you go. Say hi to Pluto for me while you’re there, tell him Sooz says hi.


Just Ask Sooz

Just Ask Sooz

Dear Sooz:

I have an unusual situation I hope you can help me resolve. My girlfriend of many years has just gotten married to a millionaire. That is not the problem. You see, for as long as I have known her, she has always needed to be penny pinching in order to make ends meet.

Since she has come into money, whenever we go out to lunch or dinner, she always wants to pick up the check. I realize that to her, it is no big deal and that I probably should be grateful, it just makes me feel uneasy you know?

I have offered to pick up the check, but all I get is grief when I do. Should I just shut up and be grateful, or should I tell her how I feel?



Dear Confused:

I can understand this because when I first started making good money, I, too, started picking up the checks. It always gave me a good feeling just knowing that I COULD for change.

More than likely, your friend feels the same way. Here’s a thought, buy her a sentimental gift. It doesn’t have to be expensive, just a little something that will mean something to her to show that you are appreciative.

She NEEDS to feel like she is a good friend and is merely showing that to you by picking up the checks, LET her. Just enjoy your lunches/dinners, relax and have a good time. I’m sure your friend thinks nothing of it. Good luck…