Just Ask Sooz

Dear Sooz:

I am a 36 yearold woman with a horrendous fear of riding the ferris wheel. As a kid, my father would take me to the amusement park and make me ride this huge wheel in the sky. I told him I didn’t want to ride it but he insisted and said I had nothing to fear.

Then, he would rock the damn chair, which would make me ball like a baby. I have been afraid of them ever since. I have just met a wonderful man, the only problem is, he is a huge amusement park and fair type of guy.

I just know he is going to want to ride that death machine, how can I do this when I am scared out of my mind?

Scardy Cat

Dear Scardy Cat:

OK, I am NOT a liscenced Therapist or Psychologist, but, I DO know a thing about trauma. What your father did to you was cruel, what HE thought was just good natured fun, to YOU it was torture. Rocking the damn car…UNBELIEVABLE…???…

It’s no WONDER you have a panic attack everytime you think about it. In MY experience, the best thing to do in order to face your fears is to get right back on that scary horse and stare it in the eye.

If your boyfriend WANTS to go on the ferris wheel, say OK, BUT, make sure he knows there will be NO rocking. Have him hold you tight, and talk to you to help act as a distraction. You will NOT be cured the first time, but hopefully, after several rides of easy does it, and no rocking , your fear of this once dreaded experience will dissapate, and you will be able to finally enjoy the sights at the top. Good luck on this one.

 

Just Ask Sooz

Dear Sooz:

Please help me if you can, I certainly need some advice. My parents divorced when I was sixteen, and it was bitter. Currently, I am 26 and my Dad is getting re-married.

Here’s the problem, my parents ‘both’ hate each other and my Mum doesn’t want me to go to the wedding. My Dad insists that I come, as I am currently his only child.

I am torn Sooz, I’m getting different advice from everyone. My Mum says that If I go, then she will have nothing to do with me. My father hasn’t come right out and used those words, but has implied it several times.

I have a great relationship with both of my parents and I am afraid no matter what I do, I am screwed. To me, it just seems so petty on their parts, and it’s leaving me holding the bag.

Wedding Bell Blues

 

Dear Wedding Bell Blues:

Here’s how I see it. You are an only child to both of them, and they BOTH love you. I personally can’t believe they are putting you in this terrible situation.

I believe that no matter WHAT you do, you will reap the consequences, however, since they BOTH love you and want to keep your relationship going, I believe the hurt will pass swiftly and things will go back to normal.

The other solution is to call in SICK for the wedding, that way you solve BOTH problems. I WOULD say talk to each of them, BUT, it appears they are still both carrying big chips on their shoulders and I’m afraid this would be moot.

I certainly don’t envy you, and I wish you much success in dealing with this tangled web of immaturity. Here’s a last minute thought, if you DO go, buy your Mum some flowers and give her something sentimental from YOU. Hopefully this will unharden her heart. Good Luck…

 

Just Ask Sooz

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Dear Sooz:

I’m a 19 year old woman whose boyfriend is serving in the Army in Afghanistan. The problem is Sooz, he says he loves me, and wants to marry me, but, I have recently found out from a buddy of his that he has been unfaithful while overseas.

Believe me, I have heard this time and time again from my girlfriends, but now it is happening to me. My girlfriends forgave their fiances, racking it up to male “needs” in an ungodly place. I’m not so sure I can do that Sooz, after all, this is the man who wants to spend the rest of his life with me.

What’s to say that if he cheated once, he won’t do it again? Should I forgive him and pretend it was just an isolated incident, or, should I cut the strings now while I am still young and find someone else? I am so torn here, what do you think I should do?

Torn

 

Dear Torn:

The odds are against you baby, if they cheat once, the likelihood that they will do it again is very high. Many folks out there believe that it is just a man’s nature to “spread his seed” among many, personally, I don’t believe that, I believe if you find the RIGHT partner, he will be true to YOU.

Now, that being said, it appears that many, have still NOT found the RIGHT partners. To prove that, the divorce rate is 53% here in the USA, while Belgium, has the highest rate at 70%. Chile, on the other hand, has only a 3% divorce rate.

I would say, CONFIRM that he was cheating, and IF he was, dump him like a bag of sand into the ocean. There are MANY fish in the sea, not that you should marry a FISH, (just using that as a comparison), GO FISHING for Mr. RIGHT this time. Good chance you will find him in Chile and live a long and happy life. Seriously, good luck to you.

 

 

Just Ask Sooz

Dear Sooz:

I know this is probably a common problem, but, I’m going to ask it anyway.I am hoping you can give me some insight into my husbands sports addiction, football.

When we were dating, I was the one who filled his attention, now, unless I was a can of beer, or of a bowl of Cheetos, I may as well be non-existant. I realize I sound like I’m whining, but this bothers me.

I have spoken to him about this, but, he says that he really enjoys football and that he will make it up to me later. Guess what, he hasn’t made it up to me. I am lonley Sooz, I need a partner, not a couch potato during football season. Any suggestions?

Forgotten Footbal Waife

Dear Forgotten Football Waife:

Honey, you’re fightin’ a LOSING battle here. I hear this same complaint over and over again, here is what I tell THEM, and now you. GET OVER IT!!! Unless you parade around the TV in your sexiest Teddy, it AIN’T gonna happen. Even THEN, you’ve only got a 30 % chance. Men’s brains are designed to watch Football. It’s encoded in their DNA.

My suggestion would be to pull up your big girl panties, call some friends and go shopping, go out to eat, see a movie, etc. There is absolutely NO reason YOU have to be couped up in that house alone all day.

There are a million and one things to do out there, so DO them. Don’t let HIS obsession with men patting each others asses bother you.  Now, get out and enjoy the day. Have fun.

Just Ask Sooz

Dear Sooz:

I would love to be part of your Just Ask Sooz letters. Hopefully, you can give me some ideas on how to feel better. I’m so alone Sooz, I moved to my super small hometown when my mom was diagnosed with cancer two years ago.

I gave up all my friends to come here. I dated this horrible man for the last two years, and recently ended it right after my mom passed. When the storm of her illness calmed, it became so apparent how wrong he was for me.

Everyone that cared about me, hated him anyway. I am so lonely. I’m jealous of my exes and their new loves, just because they’re happy. Understand this; however, I don’t want them back, their exes after all, for a reason.

I’m 40, a single mom supporting a household on her own; a sick father, and a full time business to run that I’m not passionate about. I am lonely Sooz, I have no one to talk to.

 I’ve never had a problem getting guys to notice me, but the wind has been knocked of my sails. How do you reach out? How do you make friends? I’m so weak and lonely that my confidence is gone. I appreciate your blog so much! Thanks for your help.

Juls

 

Dear Juls:

I look at this letter and I think, DAMN, I could have written this. Of course, I’ve never been married, have no kids, and both my parents are gone. OK, I COULDN’T have written this because we DO have different things going on in our lives.

First, let me say how sorry I am about your mother that must have been very hard. The fact that you ALSO have to deal with a sick father is NOT helping with your burden either.

Being lonely SUCKS, here’s what I would suggest for you to do to help make new friends.

Take an art class at night. It’s not so much the art as it is getting out and meeting new people. HINT: Men LOVE to pick up women from art classes. Many towns have a community center where they will hold this type of class.

How about knitting or needlework clubs? I never thought I would enjoy it, but I tried it once and made many new friends. Hell, I even knitted a baby blanket.

The Laundromat, the library, and even starting a book club are a great ways to meet nice people. You could ALWAYS put a plackard around you saying,”BEFRIEND ME,” but that’s so 90’s…..If worse comes to worse, you could go to a club but the people there are usually JUST about getting laid.

The saying “To get a friend, you have to BE a friend” is true. Only you can initiate that first spark between two people, so, get out there and start sparking dam nit!!! Seriously, good luck.

 

Just Ask Sooz

Just Ask Sooz

I get letters from people all the time, some, I can print, others I choose NOT to based on privacy, OR because they are really NOT Just Sooz candidates. I am printing THIS one because truthfully, I thought of a funny reply.

Just so the letter writer knows, I hold NO ill will OR am I demeaning your letter, (Well, maybe just a little bit for humor purposes), I just didn’t think it was appropriate to send into THIS forum.

Dear Sooz:

The question I am about to ask may sound strange, but here goes nothing. My wife and I are on the same wireless plan and we get a total of two Giga-bytes of data between us.

Now, in the big picture, two Giga-bytes of data sounds like an impossible amount of data for two people to consume, however, each month we are notified that the amount used, is seventy five percent of our total data allowed with just three days before our plan renews for the next month.

Personally, I use about one and a half gigs of data. My wife plays games a lot, and is afraid we are going to go over our data plan if I continue to play internet games.

We have never gone over the amount provided, but, she gets all weirded out about this whole data thing. She rants and raves about it, even though I explain that the games I play, and what her usage is, will never trip the plan.

What can I do to get her to understand this concept and get off my back? She is driving me nuts.

Data Watcher Wayne

 

Dear Data Watcher Wayne:

Do I LOOK like a WIRELESS provider here?????

As I see it, you have three choices:

  1. Get the HELL off your phone and satisfy her. This way, you BOTH win.
  2. Buy more Giga-bytes/month for the small cost it is… And…
  3. LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE with this petty stuff

People have REAL problems out there, now, GO BUY THOSE EXTRA MINUTES, make passionate love to your wife, and MOVE ON!!!

 

I GOT My Early Xmas Present

YES…YES…YES…!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That explains my dinner date for Saturday night past. For those of you who have never read me before…AND WY NOT…I had an earlier post where I declared all I wanted for Xmas was my next door neighbor.

He is a VERY cute guy who just recently moved into the house next to me. Now, since I have been taking it easy for the last 30 days recovering from a heart episode, I haven’t engaged in the carnal pleasures of the body, and BOY, was I ready, willing, and anxious to be ridden like a wild filly gain.

I had gone over to his house dressed to the nines, welcomed him to the neighborhood, and then invited him for dinner. He was very pleasant, looked at my low cut gown, (Actually, he was staring at my boobs), and readily accepted my invitation.

Saturday night at 7:00 PM the doorbell rang, and there was my cute unsuspecting fly, just ready to enter the spiders lair. He was wearing a very expensive suit, WITH vest,(???), and I countered him with my REALLY low cut red dress with matching ruby necklace and rings. Underneath, he would later find a pair of red lace panties and a sexy red bra.

I made him a nice dinner and he told me all about himself. He is 34, a graphic designer, and was unmarried or otherwise attached…BINGO…GAME OVER!!! Soft dinner music was playing and I had the room lit with candles everywhere. I had sprayed just a touch of Joy perfume in all my delicate areas, and then made sure he was close enough to smell it.

After about 2 bottles of wine (for him), I asked if he would dance with me. He readily accepted and held me close as we danced to Hero by Enrique Iglesias. The night was perfect as I leaned in, closed my eyes, and kissed him.

As I said above…GAME OVER!!! We danced, we kissed, we……………. The next morning I made him an everything omelet with some coffee and a bit of ME… He smiled, I smiled, and he asked me if I would see him again. I gave him my number and told him to call me… Xmas indeed came early for me this year…

Until Later…

 

 

Just Ask Sooz

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Just Ask Sooz


Dear Sooz:

I was recently invited to an engagement party. I was a little shocked because I have only known the bride to be for a short time. I am wondering if this means I will automatically be invited to the wedding? I was just a little shocked, and am wondering if I should be thinking about buying a wedding gift.

Confused in Detroit

Dear Confused:

Well, I guess it all depends on what your GIFT was for the engagement party, just kidding. Etiquette dictates that if you were invited to the engagement party that you will definitely be invited to the wedding.

I would start shopping for a nice gift now as the invite should be arriving soon. Enjoy!!!

Just Ask Sooz

Dear Sooz:
My name is Magie, I am 35, and I read your column religiously. My problem is, I am a very sexual person who would like to have my “hairless forest” cleaned by my husbands tongue. He is unfortunately a Germaphobe and will never satisfy me that way.
I have bathed, placed nice perfume down there, and even showed him articles where it won’t hurt him in any way, but, to no avail. Don’t get me wrong Sooz, the sex is very good, it’s just not what floats my boat the best, ya know?
I am at my wits end here and don’t know what else to do. Can you help me?
Needs Forest Cleaned

Dear Needs Forest Cleaned:
Alas, I am sorry for your dilemma. Many men have this phobia, it is very common. The only thing I could suggest is sex therapy, this may help to ease his fear of “catching” something, and enjoy that variety of sex more.
Try this, have a nice dinner, some wine, and then try and explain to him that while you are totally satisfied with his lovemaking, you would REALLY go crazy if he would just “Clean Your Clock”. I think once he tries it, you will have acquired a new variety of lovemaking.
I hope he will try it, because once he does, and he sees how you react to his touch, he will become a happy camper. Good luck.

Just Ask Sooz

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Dear Sooz:

Last year I dated someone from a dating site and fell in love with him. The problem is, he is a mama’s boy. I love him Sooz, he is fun, caring, and even respectful with me sexually. I would like to continue the relationship, but I am afraid that with him being a mama’s boy, I am always gonna be playing second fiddle.

He says he loves me, and would like to move in with me, but I am afraid. What do you think I should do?

Mama Mia

Dear Mama Mia:

Let me ask you a question first, have you MET his mother. Many time your fears are unfounded and you may find his mother just an absolute delight. If THIS is the case, don’t sweat it, even if he IS a Mamas boy you can always TALK with mama and help square him away.

IF, on the other hand, you HAVEN’T met her, I strongly suggest you do. TEST the waters, if she is strong willed and just dotes on her little boy, You’ve got BIG problems. Run for the hills as quickly as possible, OR, plan on moving FAR AWAY from mama.

This type of overbearing personality NEVER bodes well for the daughter-in-law and will ultimately put a major strain on your marriage. Just be careful and make SURE you make the RIGHT decision to insure your continued romance. Good luck…