Returned Gifts


Okay…Xmas is over and now we get back to the REALLY important things of the season, returning our gifts. If you’re like ME, you get tons of gifts that you hump back to the stores the very next day. I mean what are you gonna Do with THREE Cheese graters? Alright I only have two BUT, do I REALLY need more than one?

And what about that table top lighter you got in the form of a topless Marilyn Monroe, it’s cute, but you DON’T smoke and would your Bible Belting friends from Jehovah Witnesses really appreciate your taste in art?

Oh, and don’t forget all the gag gifts you got like edible underwear and dribble glasses. Hell, the dribble glasses are funny BUT, I usually wind up dribbling myself ANYWAY so what’s the point?

I find that if you get up very early in the morning and get to the stores just as they’re opening, you can usually get to gift returns WITHOUT having to CALL ahead for a reservation in line. I know, I have learned after having to literally FIGHT the crowds from years past. I think I earned my BLACK BELT in pushing and shoving and a BROWN belt in cussing.

On a good day, you’ll get a clerk who is not TOO hung over to help you. IF however you Do, you MAY wind up having to repeat yourself five or six times explaining just WHY you are taking back this one of a kind Marilyn Monroe lighter.

Usually, I’m too hung over myself to care, so for the most part I just go with the flow and explain that I wanted her BOTTOMLESS too. This usually shuts them up and I get my money back.

Now I’ll go and find that PERFECT something for myself that I just CAN’T live without. This year I bought a set of bar glasses with pictures of a topless Marilyn Monroe…Okay…I know…Go figure…

Until Later…