Drinking Games—Ahhhh, it Must Be St. Patties Day Again

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Drinking Games—Ahhhh, it Must Be St. Patties Day Again

With St. Patties Day coming up, I thought I would offer ALL you Irishmen, and women, a few tips on how to enjoy the day by getting drunk using drinking games.  Now, I realize that you can STILL have fun on Patties Day without getting drunk, the trouble IS, I just don’t know HOW.

The First one I used to play ALL the time is called Flip, Sip, or Strip. Here’s how it is played:

Flip a coin and while it is in the air, call heads or tails. If you guess right, pass the coin to your right. If you guess wrong, pass the coin to your left and either take one article of clothing off (anything that is a pair counts as one item) or take a drink.

If you guess right, you can choose to flip again. Another successful guess lets you pass the coin to anyone of your choosing. A wrong guess has normal consequences.

If you guess right three times in a row, you may retrieve an article of clothing and put it back on. The coin is then passed to your right. The only other rule is, a lousy coin toss needs to be re-tossed”.

I can’t TELL you how many times I have played this game and stumbled home with ONLY my panties on.

 

Another fun one is Circle of Death/Kings Cup

Here, all you need is a deck of cards without the Jokers and some good old Irish Whiskey. Here is how it is played:

To set up the game you will need a full deck of cards, without the jokers, and either a cup full of anything alcoholic or a can of beer. Put the beer or drink in the center of the table and arrange the cards face-down around it.

Decide who goes first and start drawing cards.

Here are what the cards mean (remember, this is regional):

2 – “Two for you” – Give out two drinks
3 – “Three for me” – Take three drinks
4 – “Whores” – Girls drink
5 – “Bust a jive” – Do a dance move, the next person then does that dance move and adds to it, and so on. The dance moves keep going until somebody can’t execute them in the correct order. That person drinks.
6 – “Dicks” – Guys drink
7 – “Heaven” – Everybody reaches to the sky immediately. Last person to do so drinks.
8 – “Pick a date” – Pick somebody to drink with you. Every time you screw up or have to drink, they have to drink, too. But if they drink, you don’t have to (unless you both are “dating” each other.)
9 – “Bust a rhyme” – The person who draws a card says a word to rhyme. Orange, purple, and silver (and any other non-rhyming English words) are illegal. The people then go around in order trying to rhyme with that word. No repeats. If someone can’t think of a rhyme or accidentally repeats, they drink. Note: For more advanced people, rhythm can be kept.


10 – “Categories” – The person who draws the card picks a category, like “farm animals” or “brands of cereal.” The people then go around in the circle naming things within this category. No repeats. If someone repeats or can’t think of something to contribute, they drink.


Jack – “Never have I ever” – Everybody puts up five fingers. The person who drew the card says something they’ve never done, and anybody who has done it has to put a finger down. It can be as dirty or as clean as you like. The person who loses all five fingers first drinks.


Queen – “Question master” – This person is now the question master. Until the next queen is drawn, this person can ask anyone a question. If they fail to answer the question with a question, they drink.


King – “Make a rule” – A rule is made that lasts until the end of the game. Rules can be compounding, so after all four kings are played, there will be four rules. Anytime a rule is broken, and a person gets called on it, they have to drink.


Ace- “Waterfall” – Everybody drinks until the person who drew the card stops drinking. The last person to draw “Waterfall” has to drink the cup or beer at the center of the cards.

OMG!!!!! This game is played early on in the day so that by NIGHT FALL, everyone you stagger into IS IRISH and needs to be KISSED. A fun time is guaranteed for all—UNTILL he next day.

If you DO drink, please remember NOT to drive, and be safe…

Until Later…

 

 

 

I Fell Off the Wagon and I Can’t Get Up

If you are reading this, chances are I am already good and drunk. Yesterday, I broke up up with my girlfriend who I have been seeing for the last 2 weeks. What’s WITH that 2 week relationship thing with me anyway, I just can’t seem to develop and HOLD on to a decent relationship. It seems no matter HOW hard I try, I am doomed within 2 weeks.

So, I did the usual gut busting, pain relieving, thing I have always done, I bought a few bottles of Grey Goose and some cranberry juice. I hear what you’re saying, “Sooz, that’s Not the way to handle your grief”, and I KNOW this,it’s just that after a few drinks I feel good about myself again and the grief just melts away like it has already.

Relationships SUCK!!! I have a good mind to drunk text her and give her a piece of my mind. She just up and quit us, said she needed more space…WHAT??? Fuck her!!! I’ll just have a couple more drinks, pull my panties back and just fuck MYSELF. Who NEEDS someone anyway?

God, I sound like a Just Ask Sooz letter don’t I, hehehehe? My girlfriend left me Sooz, what shall I do? Shall I go and tell her I love her and that I can’t live without her, Fuck NO…Just buy some Vodka and get good and DRUNK and all will be good in the morning.

All I know is I’m feeling Waaaaay good now, and will be passing out soon, so I better get near my bed before I wake up on the floor.

Sorry if I disappointed you all, once a drunk, always a drunk I guess…..God I’m HOT, I need to Fuck…

Until Later…

Look Out…Pigs Are Flying

The term “When pigs fly” is an Adynaton. a figure of speech in the form of hyperbole, taken to such extreme lengths as to insinuate a complete impossibility:[1]

How many of you actually KNEW that??? Yeah, right, “When pigs fly!!!” I used to get this expression thrown at me ALL the time. Examples:

Me:         I’ll be home at 10 Mom

Mom:       When Pigs Fly!!!

Me:         You can buy me a drink BUT, I’m NOT putting out

My date:   When Pigs Fly out of your ASS

Me:         One day Mrs Day, (High school  guidance counselor), I’m going to own my own company.

Mrs. Day:   When the Heavens open up and pigs fly out Sooz

You get the picture, I’ve heard it a lot, but ya know what, I never let it deter me. I studied, and worked, and did whatever it took to become successful. It was nice when I finally succeeded. I looked up after I got promoted to Account Executive Manager, and I SWORE that I had seen pigs flying.

OK, I was DRUNK at the time, but STILL, it was a great feeling. From that day on, I KNEW that pigs really COULD fly.

Until Later…

 Reference: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flying_pig

 

 

 

My Drunk Diaries—More Than an Education

When I was sixteen, I developed a crush on one of my teachers. I was always a good student, and as such, they all liked me. Coming from a “troubled” home environment, I would often stay after school and talk with this one teacher about my home life.

 She was always so nice, I would babble away about this or that and she would sit there attentive, just listening, and hug me when I needed a hug. Now, I had ALWAYS had a very intense sex drive, and having a beautiful teacher that actually LISTENED to me made it go into overdrive.

Miss Jones, (Not real name), as I said was a beautiful young woman, oh say around twenty five, and had ALWAYS takin’ a liking to me. One day, after school, she invited me over to HER house so we could TALK without any interruptions.

I said SURE, I called my mother, no answer. Well, it was around 3:30 so I figured she was already passed out drunk, so I left her a message and away we went. Miss Jones was always such a happy go lucky person, she was quick with a smile that made sunshine pale in comparison, and was always there with a joke to lighten the mood.

She had such a beautiful apartment. Hardwood everywhere and a baby grand piano in the foyer that would have Beethoven’s mouth hanging to the ground. She looked at me as if I was the only one on the planet and she offered me a drink. What was I gonna SAY….NO?????

She brought out a bottle of wine, red if memory serves me well, and we sat and talked, and drank and drank. Without going into a long dragged out sex scene, she approached my lips and kissed me. By NOW, I was intensely inebriated, (As we drank two full bottles), and I just fell into her arms.

I was hers and she was mine. I didn’t care if the moon even rose that night, at MY young age, and in the state I was in, I loved her. She and I did things that I never had experienced before, and I enjoyed EVERY second of pleasure I could feel.

Afterwards, she offered me coffee while I stayed languishing in her bed. I was in Heaven. She explained that I should NEVER speak to anyone about what happened and that she would LOVE to keep seeing me. I spent MANY drunken nights with her and it was a time I shall never forget.

Two years later, she was convicted of endangering the welfare a minor and was imprisoned. I never saw or spoke with her again.

Until Later…

An Apology and a Thank You

Usually, on a Friday and Saturday night, I would go to the bars or clubs and just drink the night away. Usually, after the fifth Vodka and Cranberry, I would become light headed, disoriented, and wellHow do I say thisOh yeah, the biggest slut there was.

I would get into a conversation with just about EVERYONE as they would gravitate towards my stool, I would laugh, and carry on, and usually this would involve me inadvertently touching someones penis, or feeling a loving breast here and there.

I would wake up the next morning, check my phone, and usually there would be between 50 to 100 texts, MOSTLY saying what a great time they had with me the night before.The PROBLEM was, I had NO idea who ANY of these people were. I must have touched MORE Penisus, and felt MORE breasts while at the clubs in my time than Donald Trump has money.

Sure, it didn’t hurt being a Nympho, I think my Libido must have just given up and said “Go For It Sooz” after a few drinks. Many a strange call I would get the next day at work from folks I had absolutely NO idea who the F**K they were, asking me to meet them for a drink or 10 after work. NOW, I see WHY!!!

In step five of AA, It says to “Admit to God, to ourselves, and another Human being, the exact nature of our wrongs” While I don’t KNOW if there really Is a God, I HAVE admitted to myself that there certainly have been wrong doings because of my drinking.

While I am NOT sure of WHAT all of these are yet, TOO many names, not enough time, I am blanketing my apology to everyone out there who I ever wronged by touching your penis, or feeling your lovely, soft, gentle breast.

I would also like to take this opportunity to THANK you for NOT pressing charges, and for giving my ego a HUGE boost. Those were the good old days EH??? Should you see me at the clubs in the near future, buy me an Iced Tea, we’ll TALK, but don’t expect a penis touch or a breast feel as I only do this by REQUEST now…

Until Later…

What’s It Like to be a Recovering Alcoholic

Many times people who know me, come up and ask me what’s it like to be a recovering alcoholic. The simple answer isIT SUCKS!!! There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about the “Glory days” of being drunk.
Yes, I still remember the days of partying and giving folks a boob shot after a few drinks, but, then again, I never DID like waking up in some strange bed the next morning, laying next to someone who I had just met the night before.
OK, let me clarify that, it was the part about not REMEMBERING who or what I did the night before that was scary. Did he use a condom, what did I say, what did I do, did anyone from my office to see me that way, it was a mess.
Did I enjoy the drinking, Ohhhhhh Yeahhhh!!!! I was on top of the world, nothing could hurt or phase me. I would SAY what I wanted, and DO what I wanted, whenever I wanted.The thing is, the next day, I was ALWAYS being told some of the crazy ass things I would say or do that wellI SHOULDN’T have done or said.
I would start the day off with a couple of drinks, just to clear my head, go to work, have a few more drinks for lunch, and then meet with clients for MORE drinks later that night. I was what you would call a high functioning alcoholic.
The thing IS, I NEEDED that alcohol to just GET me through the dayEVERY DAY. My blackouts would become more and more frequent, and my behavior was slowly becoming more OUTRAGEOUS. When I wrote about being the Wedding SLUT, that was TRUE, I WAS the SLUT. After a few drinks, I would dance around like a fool, and have drunken sex with just about ANYONE who wanted it, male OR female. I ALWAYS was the hit of the wedding, ORSo I THOUGHT.
There just came to a point in my life that I decided I NEEDED to put away the party girl image and GROW upFinally, after 43 years I DID it. Do I miss that part of my life, SOMETIMES, but I realized that within a few more years, had I continued along that path, I would become a homeless, hopeless, and friendless drunk.
I am glad that I did what I did, and would recommend to ANYONE who is on MY former path, to also do yourself a favor, get clean. You may not be high on alcohol anymore, BUT, you will re-discover the benefits of a clear and sober head. God Bless…

Holiday to Celebrate For September 13Th.

 For all you partiers out there who just NEED something to celebrate before you POP that cork and dance like fools, here it is… Today is the day Francis Scott Key penned The Star Spangled Banner.
Yup, on this day back in 1814 while watching the battle at Fort Henry being bombarded by the British, he penned the song that will forever go down in America’s history. He was so impressed that after a long night of fighting, and being BOMBARDED by the British, to STILL see a lone American flag remain standing at Fort Henry, he just had to write a song.
Naturally, like ANY good Colonist, after witnessing such an event, he popped SEVERAL corks, got drunk as a skunk, and celebrated. SoIf ya NEED a reason to dance NAKED drunkenly in the streets, NOW’S your chance…
I’d party WITH ya but I’M waitin’ for DINGUS DAY!!! Have AT it ya’ll
Party Hardy!!!
Until Later…
P.S. This educational piece of History was brought to you by Heinekin… 😉

Sexy Tuesday–Drunken Lust

 

Friday night, it’s been a LONG week, I’m hot, tired, and I need a drink. Rush rush rush, that’s what I do ALL day, no time to eat, and now, it’s party time. I’m excited and need some excitement.

Tonight is MY night for love, it’s been a while since I’ve had REAL Human contact and I will dress for sex. The lower cut the better tonight as I rummage through my closet and make sure that heads will turn in MY direction.
A cougar on the loose, that’s me, as I pick up my clutch, and head for the club. My body is starving for touch, Just THINKING about going home with someone starts my body to get moist, I am sexy, and ready as I enter the club.

The Music is blaring as I saunter over to the bar, making sure that my breasts are doing their work. As expected, heads turn as I order a dirty martini and try to act nonchalant.
I’m only sitting there about 5 minutes when a young 20 year old something pulls up a seat next to me and offers to buy me a drink. He is cute, so I say sure, the night has started.
Five or six drinks later, I am drunk and he has his hand down the back of my pants, feeling my ass when he asks if I wanna go home with him. Without hesitation, I slur, SURE, and he walks me to his car. A slow wet kiss is followed by a quick breast feel as he helps me.
We arrive at his place, a nice house in an up and coming neighborhood, he helps me out of the car and we go inside his home. I am drunk and willing, as he picks me up and carries me up to his bedroom.
He lights a candle which throws off beautiful shadows as he slowly disrobes me. His mouth is HOT against my heaving breasts, signals are sent to my pussy and I am FLOODED with wetness…
I am hisHe takes me, ties my hands against the bed posts and does the same with my feet. He undresses as I watch him and i can see that he is hung like a horse. I start to heave from excitement as he takes his hardened member and places it in my mouth.
Ready, willing, and EAGER am I to accomodate him, I lick and suck his hardness until I can see the excitement on his face. I tell him…”Let me TASTE your manhood”, as he moves it in and out of my mouth. “No He says, “I am saving my cum for your breasts”.
He removes his penis and starts rubbing it up against my wanting breasts. He cups me and moves his manhood between my ample crevices. I can tell that he is about to explode by his growing cries and his increasing hardness.
He SQUEEZES my breasts close against his throbbing cock until he climaxes all over my breastsI want it BAD now as he slowly wipes his cum over my chest and then permits me to taste it from his finger.
I yell out…”Eat me…..Eat me NOW….PLEASE!!!” Slowly kissing me from my breasts down, he arrives at the forbidden zone and starts to work his magic. As soon as his tongue swirls around my clit, I am HIS and I burst into an Orgasmic convulsion. Three more times he makes me scream with pleasure and NOW… He is hard again.
“Take me I moan”, as he places his hardened cock DEEP inside me, filling me with his passionOMG!!! He is Soooooo thick and again, I climax. Back and forth and in and out and thenHe arches his back and again explodes, THIS time inside me, filling me with his LOVE potion.
Untying me, we kiss and both collapse within each others arms. A Friday night to remember—Mission Accomplished.
Until Later…

 

 

Life in the Asylum (I mean Rehab,) Part 2

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Day Two—OMG!!! Detox symptoms had kicked in. I NEEDED a drink, no, LOTS of drinks. My body started to shake, my heart rate rose until I thought it was coming out of my body. All I wanted to do was vomit and crawl up into a ball and die.

Luckily, the place was CRAWLING with Dr.’s, so when I cried out, they came. Drug after drug entered my body in the hopes to relieve some of my suffering. This was really the first time that I realized the severe damage I had done to myself.

Eating was impossible. Even trying to drink liquids became a thing of the past. Ginger Ale seemed to be the ONLY thing I could keep down, and even THAT burned like the strongest acid, turning my stomach to mush.

Anxiety was daily and my mind, once sharp as a tack, became muddled like Jell-O on STEROIDS. Needless to say I was a mess. At this point, I wondered if I had made the right decision, but then, I remembered my mother dying of this horrible disease and realized that I did NOT want to go through the same horrible nightmare.

Day after day, I experienced the same routine; get up, puke, try and eat, puke some more, CURSE like a DRUNKEN sailor not getting sex, and then back to the drugs. Life was just a bowl of cherries. Was I REALLY doing this?

Group therapy I enjoyed, it was very helpful hearing the different trigger points causing others to drink. Interestingly, people came here from all walks of life, from the wealthy celebrities, to regular working people, alcoholism plays no favorites.

 What I thought was interesting was almost everyone here came from a background of alcohol abuse in their immediate family. The information I gained from these sessions was invaluable and helped me to realize that I was where I NEEDED to be.

To be continued…