I Fell Off the Wagon and I Can’t Get Up

If you are reading this, chances are I am already good and drunk. Yesterday, I broke up up with my girlfriend who I have been seeing for the last 2 weeks. What’s WITH that 2 week relationship thing with me anyway, I just can’t seem to develop and HOLD on to a decent relationship. It seems no matter HOW hard I try, I am doomed within 2 weeks.

So, I did the usual gut busting, pain relieving, thing I have always done, I bought a few bottles of Grey Goose and some cranberry juice. I hear what you’re saying, “Sooz, that’s Not the way to handle your grief”, and I KNOW this,it’s just that after a few drinks I feel good about myself again and the grief just melts away like it has already.

Relationships SUCK!!! I have a good mind to drunk text her and give her a piece of my mind. She just up and quit us, said she needed more space…WHAT??? Fuck her!!! I’ll just have a couple more drinks, pull my panties back and just fuck MYSELF. Who NEEDS someone anyway?

God, I sound like a Just Ask Sooz letter don’t I, hehehehe? My girlfriend left me Sooz, what shall I do? Shall I go and tell her I love her and that I can’t live without her, Fuck NO…Just buy some Vodka and get good and DRUNK and all will be good in the morning.

All I know is I’m feeling Waaaaay good now, and will be passing out soon, so I better get near my bed before I wake up on the floor.

Sorry if I disappointed you all, once a drunk, always a drunk I guess…..God I’m HOT, I need to Fuck…

Until Later…

My Drunk Diaries—More Than an Education

When I was sixteen, I developed a crush on one of my teachers. I was always a good student, and as such, they all liked me. Coming from a “troubled” home environment, I would often stay after school and talk with this one teacher about my home life.

 She was always so nice, I would babble away about this or that and she would sit there attentive, just listening, and hug me when I needed a hug. Now, I had ALWAYS had a very intense sex drive, and having a beautiful teacher that actually LISTENED to me made it go into overdrive.

Miss Jones, (Not real name), as I said was a beautiful young woman, oh say around twenty five, and had ALWAYS takin’ a liking to me. One day, after school, she invited me over to HER house so we could TALK without any interruptions.

I said SURE, I called my mother, no answer. Well, it was around 3:30 so I figured she was already passed out drunk, so I left her a message and away we went. Miss Jones was always such a happy go lucky person, she was quick with a smile that made sunshine pale in comparison, and was always there with a joke to lighten the mood.

She had such a beautiful apartment. Hardwood everywhere and a baby grand piano in the foyer that would have Beethoven’s mouth hanging to the ground. She looked at me as if I was the only one on the planet and she offered me a drink. What was I gonna SAY….NO?????

She brought out a bottle of wine, red if memory serves me well, and we sat and talked, and drank and drank. Without going into a long dragged out sex scene, she approached my lips and kissed me. By NOW, I was intensely inebriated, (As we drank two full bottles), and I just fell into her arms.

I was hers and she was mine. I didn’t care if the moon even rose that night, at MY young age, and in the state I was in, I loved her. She and I did things that I never had experienced before, and I enjoyed EVERY second of pleasure I could feel.

Afterwards, she offered me coffee while I stayed languishing in her bed. I was in Heaven. She explained that I should NEVER speak to anyone about what happened and that she would LOVE to keep seeing me. I spent MANY drunken nights with her and it was a time I shall never forget.

Two years later, she was convicted of endangering the welfare a minor and was imprisoned. I never saw or spoke with her again.

Until Later…

10 Reasons NOT to Get Drunk On New Year’s Eve


1. You can actually BLOW your noisemaker at Midnight.

2. You don’t have to worry about sending apology cards, and then, trying to remember WHO they go to…

3. You can actually REMEMBER who you were kissing or…(Whatever) At Midnight…

4. It’s nice waking up in a BED as opposed to the FLOOR…

5. You DON’T have to be the naked dessert table…

6 The new friend you’ve been talking to is NOT your toilet…

7. You use the restroom as opposed to your pants…

8. When you wake up the next morning, there is NO merry-Go-Round in your room.

9 Your date for New Year’s Eve actually calls you AGAIN!!!

10 Eggs and bacon taste great as oppose to a 6 shot and beer breakfast

Ten Things NOT To Do On Halloween

1. Bob for apples in a tub filled with Vodka—You may not only GET the apple, but SOMETIMES, an unexpected “date!!!” 2. Go trick or treating with a garbage can on wheels….TACKY!!! 3. Being 43, dressing up as a Hooker, … Continue reading

An Apology and a Thank You

Usually, on a Friday and Saturday night, I would go to the bars or clubs and just drink the night away. Usually, after the fifth Vodka and Cranberry, I would become light headed, disoriented, and wellHow do I say thisOh yeah, the biggest slut there was.

I would get into a conversation with just about EVERYONE as they would gravitate towards my stool, I would laugh, and carry on, and usually this would involve me inadvertently touching someones penis, or feeling a loving breast here and there.

I would wake up the next morning, check my phone, and usually there would be between 50 to 100 texts, MOSTLY saying what a great time they had with me the night before.The PROBLEM was, I had NO idea who ANY of these people were. I must have touched MORE Penisus, and felt MORE breasts while at the clubs in my time than Donald Trump has money.

Sure, it didn’t hurt being a Nympho, I think my Libido must have just given up and said “Go For It Sooz” after a few drinks. Many a strange call I would get the next day at work from folks I had absolutely NO idea who the F**K they were, asking me to meet them for a drink or 10 after work. NOW, I see WHY!!!

In step five of AA, It says to “Admit to God, to ourselves, and another Human being, the exact nature of our wrongs” While I don’t KNOW if there really Is a God, I HAVE admitted to myself that there certainly have been wrong doings because of my drinking.

While I am NOT sure of WHAT all of these are yet, TOO many names, not enough time, I am blanketing my apology to everyone out there who I ever wronged by touching your penis, or feeling your lovely, soft, gentle breast.

I would also like to take this opportunity to THANK you for NOT pressing charges, and for giving my ego a HUGE boost. Those were the good old days EH??? Should you see me at the clubs in the near future, buy me an Iced Tea, we’ll TALK, but don’t expect a penis touch or a breast feel as I only do this by REQUEST now…

Until Later…

Holiday to Celebrate For September 13Th.

 For all you partiers out there who just NEED something to celebrate before you POP that cork and dance like fools, here it is… Today is the day Francis Scott Key penned The Star Spangled Banner.
Yup, on this day back in 1814 while watching the battle at Fort Henry being bombarded by the British, he penned the song that will forever go down in America’s history. He was so impressed that after a long night of fighting, and being BOMBARDED by the British, to STILL see a lone American flag remain standing at Fort Henry, he just had to write a song.
Naturally, like ANY good Colonist, after witnessing such an event, he popped SEVERAL corks, got drunk as a skunk, and celebrated. SoIf ya NEED a reason to dance NAKED drunkenly in the streets, NOW’S your chance…
I’d party WITH ya but I’M waitin’ for DINGUS DAY!!! Have AT it ya’ll
Party Hardy!!!
Until Later…
P.S. This educational piece of History was brought to you by Heinekin… 😉

Sexy Tuesday–Drunken Lust


Friday night, it’s been a LONG week, I’m hot, tired, and I need a drink. Rush rush rush, that’s what I do ALL day, no time to eat, and now, it’s party time. I’m excited and need some excitement.

Tonight is MY night for love, it’s been a while since I’ve had REAL Human contact and I will dress for sex. The lower cut the better tonight as I rummage through my closet and make sure that heads will turn in MY direction.
A cougar on the loose, that’s me, as I pick up my clutch, and head for the club. My body is starving for touch, Just THINKING about going home with someone starts my body to get moist, I am sexy, and ready as I enter the club.

The Music is blaring as I saunter over to the bar, making sure that my breasts are doing their work. As expected, heads turn as I order a dirty martini and try to act nonchalant.
I’m only sitting there about 5 minutes when a young 20 year old something pulls up a seat next to me and offers to buy me a drink. He is cute, so I say sure, the night has started.
Five or six drinks later, I am drunk and he has his hand down the back of my pants, feeling my ass when he asks if I wanna go home with him. Without hesitation, I slur, SURE, and he walks me to his car. A slow wet kiss is followed by a quick breast feel as he helps me.
We arrive at his place, a nice house in an up and coming neighborhood, he helps me out of the car and we go inside his home. I am drunk and willing, as he picks me up and carries me up to his bedroom.
He lights a candle which throws off beautiful shadows as he slowly disrobes me. His mouth is HOT against my heaving breasts, signals are sent to my pussy and I am FLOODED with wetness…
I am hisHe takes me, ties my hands against the bed posts and does the same with my feet. He undresses as I watch him and i can see that he is hung like a horse. I start to heave from excitement as he takes his hardened member and places it in my mouth.
Ready, willing, and EAGER am I to accomodate him, I lick and suck his hardness until I can see the excitement on his face. I tell him…”Let me TASTE your manhood”, as he moves it in and out of my mouth. “No He says, “I am saving my cum for your breasts”.
He removes his penis and starts rubbing it up against my wanting breasts. He cups me and moves his manhood between my ample crevices. I can tell that he is about to explode by his growing cries and his increasing hardness.
He SQUEEZES my breasts close against his throbbing cock until he climaxes all over my breastsI want it BAD now as he slowly wipes his cum over my chest and then permits me to taste it from his finger.
I yell out…”Eat me…..Eat me NOW….PLEASE!!!” Slowly kissing me from my breasts down, he arrives at the forbidden zone and starts to work his magic. As soon as his tongue swirls around my clit, I am HIS and I burst into an Orgasmic convulsion. Three more times he makes me scream with pleasure and NOW… He is hard again.
“Take me I moan”, as he places his hardened cock DEEP inside me, filling me with his passionOMG!!! He is Soooooo thick and again, I climax. Back and forth and in and out and thenHe arches his back and again explodes, THIS time inside me, filling me with his LOVE potion.
Untying me, we kiss and both collapse within each others arms. A Friday night to remember—Mission Accomplished.
Until Later…



Rehab Bound

Well folks, the day of reckoning is at hand. Tomorrow I enter a rehab facility for 28 or 30 days I can’t remember. I have checked with the administration and they said that I CAN bring my computer BUT, it will be stored away until they feel that I am OK enough to use it.

So…I won’t be on WordPress for a while. Know that I love each and every one of you out there and am sorry about this, BUT, for MY health and welfare it was probably the best decision I have ever made.

Here’s the way I look at it. I saw my mother go through this and it killed her. She went from a loving, kind, and hard working woman to just a shred of a Human Being who couldn’t do ANYTHING without being drunk.

As you may or may NOT know, I have been a highly functioning alcoholic for a while now. I have come to the crossroads; I SWORE that I would NEVER be my mother, and yet, I am on the same track. I worked VERY hard to get away from that life, and NOW, I see myself through my mother’s eyes walking in HER shoes.

I will really miss this place. For ME, it has become a refuge, a sanctuary if you will to forget the stresses of my life. For a short while daily, I come here and try and write something that will hopefully brighten your day, and  put a smile on your face.

I’ve been told that I will not even have time to write initially based on the high intensity psychological therapy I’ll be receiving. The place is huge and it is VERY serene. I guess the idea is to find out WHY I drink and to adjust my brain accordingly. This is REALLY going to SUCK. I am sure NOT looking forward to detoxing, BUT, it HAS to be done.
I have made a commitment to myself that I will return a sober and more well-adjusted Human Being (Fingers Crossed).

All that I ask is that you PLEASE don’t forget me; as you can be assured that I will carry each and every one of YOU in my heart and be back here as soon as I can…
I love you all…God Speed,


If I Could Only Remember Where I Left My Pants



If I Could Only Remember Where I Left My Pants

For those of you who read me, you know that on occasion, like Monday through Friday and SOMETIMES on the weekends (looks other way), I have a tendency to let’s just say get HAPPY…Sometimes I get SOOO happy, I forget what Happiness I had the night I was getting happy. Boy…THAT was a confusing sentence wasn’t it???

Anyway, since I’m going for the “cure”, I thought I would relate a sort of funny story that happened to me one night when I was in Vegas. This was ohhhh, about 3 years ago I think, I had had enough of the pressures of work and since I like to gamble, I decided I would go to Vegas.

I Love Vegas…Lights everywhere, wall to wall people, cheap food and all the free drinks you can swallow while playing in the Casinos. I usually stay at the Bellagio because I’m comped, so I packed my things, hopped on a plane and headed for Sin City…You KNOW why they call it Sin City don’t you…It’s because I’m there…Hehehe…

Well…I got there in the afternoon, checked it, and immediately went to the Black Jack table. I love Black Jack because it’s a game of percentages and I am ever so good with math…PLUS…I’m LUCKY!!! I sat down, put my chips on the table, ordered a Vodka Cranberry, and away I went.

I started this around 3PM and never left before Midnight. To say that I had had ONE too many would be an understatement, it was really about 8-10 too many. All I remember is riding some kind of Merry Go Round, (At least I THINK it was), and yelling out I’m WINNING…I’m WINNING…Things became a little fuzzy from there.

I remember meeting SOMEONE…Can’t remember whether they were male or female and I THINK I fell in the waters at the Bellagio ‘cause I remember (SORT of), saying Help me I’m drowning. Now remember, the actual water depth there is probably ONLY about 2 feet. I can’t really remember anything from that point on except waking up naked, in my bathroom, in the bathtub.

I got out of the bathtub, and on the mantle there was a note that read, “ Sooz…had a wonderful time last night, let’s do it again sometime.”, no name, no nothing. I went to the bedroom, looked for my clothes and NOTHING was there. No pants, no panties, no Bra…WTF??? Where were my clothes??? The only think I could THINK of was that this person wanted trophies…Yuck!!! Sicko!!!

The only other think I thought was funny, (BUT EMBARRASING), was when I went down to the Lobby to check out, the clerk said to me in a softened voice… “ Did you enjoy your SWIM”??? I turned BEET red and sheepishly check out to raise Hell another day…Yikes!!! Anybody wanna go to Vegas with me???

Until Later…

P.S. I have NO idea why this is so big…Yikes!!!


Ten Things to Do When You’re Bored


  • Get Drunk and Pee on your neighbors flowers
  • Apologize to neighbors AFTER the Cops show up
  • Go to Walmart and PRETEND to be a Greeter with a VERY THICK Accent
  • Apologize to Management when security comes
  • Visit a fire station and yell FIRE!!!!!!!
  • Once released from prison, apologize to the fire chief
  • Swim naked in neighbors pool…If cops show up, explain you are training for the Olympics
  • Fart in a crowed elevator, then turn and look at the person behind you waving your hands in front of your nose
  • Go into Victoria Secret and ask the clerk for a pair of sexy Flannel PJ’S
  • While waiting in a long line, tell people that you need to go first because you have to perform emergency surgery in ½ an hour


        Guess how many of these I’ve done and which ones. Hehehehehehe

        Until Later…