Ten Things you should Never Do While Shopping in a Grocery Store

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Some time you just have to be careful what you do while out in public. Here are a few NOT to do while in a grocery store…

1. Never ask someone to squeeze your melons when picking up cantaloupe….Sure you mean well by seeing if they are fresh but SOMETIMES people might get the wrong idea.

2. Bend over to pick up an item you dropped while wearing a Miniskirt with no panties. I have done this and it NEVER turns out well…

3. Yell out…”CLEAN UP IN ISLE 4″ and then Run like Hell…Employees tend to get pissed off…

4. Tell the cashier at the checkout the the man BEHIND you is paying for YOUR items…WAIT…WHAT???? Of course I have PERSONALLY never done this…..Looks the other way…………

5. Take stuff out of someone elses cart while they shop and add the items to YOUR cart…Oh come on!!! It is TOO funny!!!!

6. Shop while very drunk….You end up with ALL junk food items…Trust me….:hungover:…..

7. Shop while very hungry….Your bill is 3 times higher than usual….YIKES!!!:arghh:

8. Tell the cashier to “Put it on my tab”….This inevitably will bring the Mgr. over…

9. NEVER ask a male employee how much his meat is…..You won’t BELIEVE the crass responses you’ll get….

10. Try and get free food by unbuttoning your 3rd blouse button and flirting with the cashier….. Every once in a while…..???????,,,,,……??????!!!!!! ;)

Now….In all truth…I have only done a few of these….Guess which ones…;)
Until Later…

Etiquette Lessons about Female Body Parts

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I have come here today to talk about Boobs, Breasts, Knockers, Melons, oh and don’t forget MY favorite…TITS. I do this because I was in a grocery store last week and while I was searching for a melon, (No pun intended), well OK, maybe it was a little intended, a man was just STARING at my boobs.

Being the funny person that I AM, I went up to him, cupped my breasts and asked if he would like me to BAG them for him. He turned beat red, apologized, and said that he meant no harm I just had INCREDIBLE looking Boobs. Obviously the man has GREAT taste.

Truthfully, a lot of women would get all indignant here and say what a pig he was, but I just took it as a compliment. Hell, I can’t help what Nature provided for me. I think it’s a turn on when someone notices my attributes. I’m just setting the record straight here guys, if you wanna look, then look, but please, just do it a little more subtly.

I mean I will undoubtedly stare at your Penis or your ASS too, but USUALLY, I don’t point my finger at them either and go DAMN that guy has a fine piece of MAN ASS, or, look at the HONKER on that guy.

Subtlety is the KEY here guys. Catch a glimpse as I go by then do what you’re SUPPOSED to do, look down quickly BEFORE I make eye contact with you and then say under your breath, “EYE CARRUMBA”, “she has great looking TITS or an AMAZING looking ASS.”

OK, this was lesson number one. Lesson number two will be to teach you HOW to give us your “BEST” pick-up lines. Trust me here guys, these lines NEVER fail. Stay tuned.

Until Later…