Secrets of the Close

I have been in sales for years, and I must admit, I’m a pretty damn good closer. Selling, whether it’s in your profession, or even in everyday life trying to win an argument is very easy IF you know the secrets.

I’m hearing some people say “WHAT???”, but it’s true, closing effectively is all about SKILL and not just winging it. Let me show you.

It’s all about people. First, you have to size them up and see what type they are. There are basically 3 different types of people:

  1. Aggressive and confident—These are very easy people to persuade or sell. Most all will fall prey to the FACT presentation. Their lives are made up of facts and or scientific jargon and as such, you need to use your facts to either CONVINCE them or SELL them something. Believe me, the more facts you can include in your argument or presentation, the easier it will be to sell them.


  1. The Doormat—Many people out there are what I call the doormats of the Universe. They are dominated by others and are the followers of the world. They live within their own little worlds, like to do things on their own and are very happy just reading books, watching TV, or living at others pleasure. These people, however, are also THINKERS, and may take longer to sell or persuade. The technique here is to make them think that your idea came from THEM. If they believe in some way that THEY thought of it, then you are in like solid gold. These are the challenging people.


  1. The I Don’t NEED or Want it People—Don’t get me wrong here, not EVERYONE  needs your product, or WANTS to go to the beach when it’s 100 degrees outside. It’s YOUR job once again to CONVINCE them WHY they really need your product or service; or WHY and HOW it would benefit them to go to the beach. These are usually the I’ll get back to you people, or I’ll ask 50 or 60 of my relatives first, and THEN I will make a decision. These people can be frustrating, but, once you sell them and show them the benefits, going forward, you can sell them ANYTHING!!!


Remember, these should be used as a guideline, once you figure out which type of people they are, the REST is easy. Good luck…


Sue’s Quotes


You can’t blame gravity for falling in love…. Albert Einstein


It’s all the MOON’S fault!!!…Sooz


Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving. Albert Einstein


I disagree, I say that in order to KEEP your balance, you need TRAINING WHEELS!!!…Sooz


Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value… Albert Einstein


I say, Strive for BOTH!!! OK, I’m greedy!!! …Sooz


Why Do We Put Up With Leap Year



In case you were confused when the calendar said it was the 29th, today is Leap Year. Luckily, I remembered and immediately started leaping everywhere I went today. I leaped out of bed, out of my clothes AND into them, and then I leaped to the breakfast table, and then leaped off to work.

Thank God this Leap Year day only comes once every four years, cause, I’m TIRED already. Did everybody HERE remember to LEAP all day today? Excuse me, someone is saying something to me…OHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Sorry folks, I guess I had the WRONG idea about Leap Year.

They tell me it’s a calendar thingy that this day only comes around once every four years to somehow make our calendar accurate, WHAT???? You mean I DIDN’T have to do all that leaping, Geese!!!

Seriously, WHO CARES if there is a 29th. of the month anyway? Would we fall off the Planet or something if we just had a 28 day February EVERY year? I mean, WHO gets hurt? This whole 29 day deal gets tiresome trying to remember every four years…

What about the poor people who have to wait four whole years for their birthday? Is THAT fair? No, I think not. Just think about it for a minute, they won’t be able to drive a car until they are 64 chronological years old. They won’t be able to VOTE until they are 72 years old. The worst about the whole thing is they won’t be able to drink until they are 84 years old. Now THAT’S a crime…

Who’s with me? Let’s set the date on February right. NO MORE 29 days. Let’s not make these poor souls who were born on the 29th. suffer. Their Birthdays are now officially on the 28TH.

There, once again, Sooz has stepped in and saved the day…You’re welcome my friends, now let’s see what we can do about this so called election coming up…

Until Later…


Hey You!!!


Back in the 1840’s, the word “Hallo” first arrived. It came from many different languages with this spelling, minus some adornment above certain letters, but ultimately it was used to bring attention to someone or something.

Today, we know this word as Hello, a greeting when you pick up the telephone. Thinking this was kind of a boring word, I seldom use it in my vocabulary. Personally, I prefer “What’s up” as opposed to Hello.

That probably once again is just my rebel side showing. I have never been one to just follow that straight and narrow line; I question everything and then choose my own path.

At one point in time, instead of saying Hello, folks used to say “Ahoy” as the greeting when answering the phone. This is a nautical term used as a greeting. Thomas Edison, however, wasn’t happy with this term, so by the 1890’s and after a few letters were written; Hello became the official term used to answer a phone.

Now, what would happen if you DIDN’T answer the call with Hello? Would you be fined, maybe even imprisoned? Ooooowwwwww!!!!!!! So why do we all answer the phone with Hello? Because we are USED to it, THAT’S why. Come on rebels of the world, rise up, join me in my quest to rip the seeds of commonality from the ground, and join me in my struggle to answer the phone the way YOU want to.

Don’t let the humdrum masses of society tell you what to do, join me, answer your phones with a YES, What’s up, Maggie speaking, or just Ahoy Matte, let’s show them who has the REAL power.

Thomas Edison started it, now it’s OUR turn to FINISH it!!! Who’s with me???





































My Sausage and Peppers—Moldy, Mildewed, and Musty



How many times has this happened to you, you go into your refrigerator to get oh let’s say a chicken wing, yeah, that’s it, a chicken wing. Then, while retrieving said item, you notice an unusual and obnoxious smell.

You KNOW it is probably something you forgot to take out, oh, say 5 or 6 months ago, and you really never NOTICED the smell before so it really didn’t matter. Now, however, you realize that the smell MUST be dealt with.

What do you do? Do you get right in there with your gas mask, rubber suit and gloves, and of course you’re anti mold spray to clean every nook and corner? Or, do you WAIT a while, THEN go back and open it again LATER in the hopes that the smell that could now be contaminating the entire free world, will have MAGICALLY disappeared?

OK, that MAY have been a stretch, but I just felt like a smart ass so I decided to just throw that in. Anyway, begrudgingly, I forged ahead like a woman being eaten by soldier ants. Let me just say that out of all the jobs I hate to do, well, except cleaning my toilet after a heavy bowel movement,  it’s cleaning the refrigerator.

First, I had to prepare. I cursed and whined like a sick banshee, followed by considering to have one of my friends do the dirty deed. Finally, I pulled up my big girl panties and SLOWLY opened the door to Hell.

Carefully searching, I discovered the evil doer; it was my sausage and peppers dish that must have been in there since Cinco de Mayo of 1912. It was indeed disgusting, covered with beautiful grays and greens, and it MAY have been growing some kind of a plant also but I decided to avert my eyes so I didn’t turn to stone.

Finally, after disposing of the contamination, I disrobed from my Hasmat suit, took a huge sigh of relief, and ate my chicken wing. All was once again right with the world.

Until later…


Just Ask Sooz

Dear Sooz:

My husband is 32 years old and he works at a strip club. No, he doesn’t dance on the poles, he is a bouncer for the club. At first, this was OK with me because the job paid well and we needed the money. Recently, he has been getting friendly with the girls and they give him their numbers.

We have been married for 10 years now Sooz and he has never strayed. I have heard him on the phome with one of the girls however, after I have already gone to bed. While I understand this may be purely harmless, I just don’t want it to develop into something that will affect our marriage.

I have spoken to him about this already and he just says I’m just being paranoid. What do you say?

Strip Club Blues


Dear Strip Club Blues:

While there MAY be nothing wrong in what he is doing, I really don’t like that “After Hours” phone call. It is just too easy to fall under the spell of some young thing that has nothing to lose.

I would bring this up to him again, let him KNOW how special he is to you, and suggest that he start looking for a different job, preferably something without pretty naked little young things making love to a pole.

A bouncer is a bouncer, and can work just about anywhere. Why be around temptation when you don’t NEED to be. I say it’s better to be SAFE than sorry….I’m with YOU on this one. Good Luck!!!





Just Ask Sooz

Dear Sooz:

I am in a quandary. I have been dating a wonderful girl now for 3 years and am on the verge of asking her to marry me. The problem is, in my mind, I’m not sure if she is “the one”. Sometimes I believe I go off on tangents wondering if there really “is” the perfect girl for me. At 22 years old, I am not sure if I am capable of making that decision. You see, Amanda is the only girl I have dated all through high school.

A year from now I will be entering into medical school for the Navy and I’m sure I will be meeting a lot of other women through the program. I’m wondering if I should ask Amanda to be my wife, as she “seems to be the one” for me, or, just wait, and see if there really “is” that elusive girl of my dreams. What do you think?

Looking For Paradise

Dear Looking For Paradise:

While I personally don’t believe that the PERFECT mate exists, I WOULD caution you on your uncertainty. At 23 years old, while plenty of folks DO decide to get hitched, 50% of those marriages also end in the big D.

Here’s what I suggest. Go to medical school and see what plays out. I’m not saying to stop dating Amanda, just see where your hormones lead you. Who knows, in YOUR mind, you might just discover that there WAS a perfect girl for you, or after medical school, you still might wanna get married to Amanda.

Life is too short to make the wrong choice here. Take a chance on YOUR life and see what happens. Good Luck.

You Wanna Piece of Me

Recognize my friend here? This little guy is a member of the taxonomic family of Columbidae, also known as the Pigeon.

A cute little bird, quiet, with it’s soft little coo sound and longing eyes, so why am I writing about this pretty little birdie, he just took a HUGE Dump all over  me.

I was leaving home today and going to my car, when all of a sudden, out of what seemed like nowhere, this lone pigeon flies overhead and decides that THIS would be a good time to take a dump. The problem was, it was all over my Versace outfit.

Luckily, I was looking at the ground when I got BOMBED by said pigeon, otherwise, instead of getting my shoulders and back assaulted, I also would have gotten a nice breakfast of pigeon poop. Needless to say, I was shocked and didn’t know what the HELL hit me, literally.

Well, I told my driver to wait while I hurried my embarrassed butt BACK into the house to change. Luckily, I was going through my closet this AM looking for different things to wear, so I STILL had a bunch of clothes laid out on my bed. I changed quickly, and out the door I ran for the car, THIS time searching the sky for other “Friends” of his that still might be around lurking.

Needless to say my disposition was NOT the best as I walked through the doors and was greeted by ALL my perky, happy go lucky employees. It’s been about an hour now and my mood has once again shifted to my normal business mode, but, NOW I’m hoping that the dry cleaner can get out all that bird doo and restore my outfit BACK to new again.

Sometimes it just doesn’t pay to get out of bed….

Until Later…