10 Reasons NOT to Get Drunk On New Year’s Eve

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1. You can actually BLOW your noisemaker at Midnight.

2. You don’t have to worry about sending apology cards, and then, trying to remember WHO they go to…

3. You can actually REMEMBER who you were kissing or…(Whatever) At Midnight…

4. It’s nice waking up in a BED as opposed to the FLOOR…

5. You DON’T have to be the naked dessert table…

6 The new friend you’ve been talking to is NOT your toilet…

7. You use the restroom as opposed to your pants…

8. When you wake up the next morning, there is NO merry-Go-Round in your room.

9 Your date for New Year’s Eve actually calls you AGAIN!!!

10 Eggs and bacon taste great as oppose to a 6 shot and beer breakfast

So…Let’s Talk About New Year’s Eve

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So…Let’s Talk About New Year’s Eve. I have a pretty big house which can accommodate many people, but, I only invited the “immediate” WORLD. While I CAN cook, there was going to be over 50 people there so I decided to have it catered. That way, I could concentrate more on my guests and DRINKING and spend less time slaving away in the kitchen. Plus, I decided that REAL ordure’s and food like beef, chicken, and some kind of fancy spaghetti would be better than pigs in a blanket… And I’m NOT talking about my DATES when I say that either.

I hired a band that could play ANYTHING from Country and Western to Justin Bieber (although they DIDNT ‘cause I DETEST Justin Bieber). I had enough alcohol to open my OWN tavern, clean sheets on all the beds, (Hey, you never know), and condoms BY the beds.

People started arriving at around six and by seven, everyone was there. Now I’m a game player and so are my friends so we each got some food and drinks and started playing Charades. I really LOVE that game ‘cause you can act like a fool and it’s OK. MY card was Elizabeth Taylor, (Go figure RIGHT)??? I must confess while acting her out I was a “LITTLE” Tipsy so I MAY not have done the character as best I could BUT…Once I pretended humping every guest there, people guessed it. Ahhhhh….Good Times…

Next we played Trivial Pursuit (I’m very good) and won it hands down. Hey…It was MY party RIGHT??? I remember wearing a top hat and blowing my noise maker at Midnight but THEN, things begin to get fuzzy. I remember kissing several people and I think I MAY have FLASHED some people too, although I am a little fuzzy on this part.

I woke up ALONE on New Year’s Day on the floor, with a blanket covering me and a pillow under my head. I haven’t received any negative phone calls YET so I guess everyone had a good time. I KNOW I did.

Okay…I have to go now and feed my hangover with lots of aspirin and plenty of Gatorade. I hope EVERYBODY had a good time and I wish everyone a very Happy New Year.

Muah!!!

 

Planning the New Year’s Eve Party

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I know what you’re gonna say…Acohol…NOPE…I was gonna say CONDOMS for when the alcohol takes effect. Hehehehe. Of COURSE you need alcohol silly, but you also need some OTHER things too.

How about some Pizza and wings? It just isn’t a party unless you have plenty of pizza and wings to shove into your mouth while consuming LARGE quantities of alcohol. I mean where is the fun if somebody doesn’t consume WAY too much food and alcohol and puke all over the toilet for an hour or so. It’s THEN, and ONLY then, you know you’re getting close to midnight.

 You need lots of games. Oh YEAH….I am a HUGE game player so I need lots of stimulating Stripping games to help move the party along. Twister is actually one of my FAVORITES. Nothing more fun than to see my friends or ME get tangled on top of someone in a drunken stupor and PROCREATING right there on the game board.

 

 Hey, don’t forget the music. No party is complete without ALL styles of music. I’m talkin’ from classic rock and country, to downright NASTY Gangsta Rap and Hard core Metal music. Usually at MY parties, I hire a live group who can accommodate ALL of those styles.

 

Finally, towards 4 or 5 AM, we play the guessing game, who is going home with whose spouse or girlfriend? Another one is WHO can actually DRIVE??? I NEVER let someone drive who has had too much to drink. I have a special person in charge of keys who monitors the alcohol consumption of my guests, and then removes their keys at the end of the evening if they are too drunk to drive.

 

I have plenty of room in my home for several people to stay over so it is NEVER any problem. It’s ALSO advantageous for me because Usually, I just wander from room to room in my drunken stupor and sleep with as many guests who are staying over as possible. Gotta LOVE New Year’s Eve parties, what a blast.

 

I hope you all have a Happy and safe New Year’s Eve and HEY, if you have nowhere to go, come and party at MY home, I can ALWAYS use another drunken person to sleep with. Happy New Year…

 

Until Later…