Q-Tip Use For Dummy’s

 

 Image

 

I’m here today to discuss one of the most talked about subjects ever: Q-Tips. Recently, several alarming reports have been made about Q Tips being used for cleaning wax out of the ears. People…NEVER use Q Tips for this purpose. It can damage your ear drums to the extent that you may CONSTANTLY hear Justin Bieber songs singing in your head.

A much BETTER use for this product is for cleaning OTHER holes. Suggestions would be:

1.  The Nose—A little LUBE on the end of the cotton, stick in as far as possible without gagging, and pull out boogers. This would be a similar move compared with little Jack Horner EXCEPT…HE pulled out plums NOT boogers. Well, not that I KNOW of anyway.


        2. How about a good Va Jay Ja cleaning. I know…Ewwwww right?               Hey…Sometimes you just need a good thorough swabbing though, just in case there are any left-over particulars from the night before. Oh come ON… You know what I’m talking about here.

        3.  How about for a good DNA swabbing, you know, just in case you’ve  murdered someone? Hey, they have to find you SOMEHOW right? I know, I watch WAY too much CSI on TV.

Last but certainly not LEAST, how about mini sword fighting or baton twirling; OK I realize you would have to be only 10 inches tall but STILL, it’s a possibility.

How about you folks, any creative ideas for Q Tip use other than the plain and simple ones like make up application? I’ll be interested to see what you come up with. Good Luck…

Until Later…

Ten Ways to Effectively Pick Your Nose

Image

10.)    With a pair of industrial sized booger pliers.

9.)     Heavy duty tweezers with a 50 lb. weight limit.

8.)     Having a friend help you out.

7.)     The 2 finger approach, justifying the saying: “Two fingers are always
Better than one“.

6.)     Using Vaseline…This loosens boogers so you can effectively
Use either Number 1 or Number 2.

5.)     Waiting for them to just fall out…OK…This one isn’t effective
So just disregard it.

4.)     OK…I was gonna say Axe Pick but that really doesn’t sound
To effective either….Does it?

3.)      Waiting at a stop light in your car.

2.)      Using super glue, attach to boogers…Wait until dry, pull out.
Repeat!!!!

And…the number one way to effectively pick your nose: Tie some dental floss around your boogers; then tie the other side to a heavy duty truck (Like a Ford 150).  Have a friend gun the hell out of the truck and VOILA…No More Boogers…

Until Later…