10 Reasons NOT to Get Drunk On New Year’s Eve

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1. You can actually BLOW your noisemaker at Midnight.

2. You don’t have to worry about sending apology cards, and then, trying to remember WHO they go to…

3. You can actually REMEMBER who you were kissing or…(Whatever) At Midnight…

4. It’s nice waking up in a BED as opposed to the FLOOR…

5. You DON’T have to be the naked dessert table…

6 The new friend you’ve been talking to is NOT your toilet…

7. You use the restroom as opposed to your pants…

8. When you wake up the next morning, there is NO merry-Go-Round in your room.

9 Your date for New Year’s Eve actually calls you AGAIN!!!

10 Eggs and bacon taste great as oppose to a 6 shot and beer breakfast

What’s It Like to be a Recovering Alcoholic

Many times people who know me, come up and ask me what’s it like to be a recovering alcoholic. The simple answer isIT SUCKS!!! There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about the “Glory days” of being drunk.
Yes, I still remember the days of partying and giving folks a boob shot after a few drinks, but, then again, I never DID like waking up in some strange bed the next morning, laying next to someone who I had just met the night before.
OK, let me clarify that, it was the part about not REMEMBERING who or what I did the night before that was scary. Did he use a condom, what did I say, what did I do, did anyone from my office to see me that way, it was a mess.
Did I enjoy the drinking, Ohhhhhh Yeahhhh!!!! I was on top of the world, nothing could hurt or phase me. I would SAY what I wanted, and DO what I wanted, whenever I wanted.The thing is, the next day, I was ALWAYS being told some of the crazy ass things I would say or do that wellI SHOULDN’T have done or said.
I would start the day off with a couple of drinks, just to clear my head, go to work, have a few more drinks for lunch, and then meet with clients for MORE drinks later that night. I was what you would call a high functioning alcoholic.
The thing IS, I NEEDED that alcohol to just GET me through the dayEVERY DAY. My blackouts would become more and more frequent, and my behavior was slowly becoming more OUTRAGEOUS. When I wrote about being the Wedding SLUT, that was TRUE, I WAS the SLUT. After a few drinks, I would dance around like a fool, and have drunken sex with just about ANYONE who wanted it, male OR female. I ALWAYS was the hit of the wedding, ORSo I THOUGHT.
There just came to a point in my life that I decided I NEEDED to put away the party girl image and GROW upFinally, after 43 years I DID it. Do I miss that part of my life, SOMETIMES, but I realized that within a few more years, had I continued along that path, I would become a homeless, hopeless, and friendless drunk.
I am glad that I did what I did, and would recommend to ANYONE who is on MY former path, to also do yourself a favor, get clean. You may not be high on alcohol anymore, BUT, you will re-discover the benefits of a clear and sober head. God Bless…

Holiday to Celebrate For September 13Th.

 For all you partiers out there who just NEED something to celebrate before you POP that cork and dance like fools, here it is… Today is the day Francis Scott Key penned The Star Spangled Banner.
Yup, on this day back in 1814 while watching the battle at Fort Henry being bombarded by the British, he penned the song that will forever go down in America’s history. He was so impressed that after a long night of fighting, and being BOMBARDED by the British, to STILL see a lone American flag remain standing at Fort Henry, he just had to write a song.
Naturally, like ANY good Colonist, after witnessing such an event, he popped SEVERAL corks, got drunk as a skunk, and celebrated. SoIf ya NEED a reason to dance NAKED drunkenly in the streets, NOW’S your chance…
I’d party WITH ya but I’M waitin’ for DINGUS DAY!!! Have AT it ya’ll
Party Hardy!!!
Until Later…
P.S. This educational piece of History was brought to you by Heinekin… 😉

A Silly Holiday

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There are no real Holidays before Valentine’s Day and I needed one so I decided to just make one up. I decided that this Friday will be considered TipAFew Day. Yup, that’s right; this Friday is International TipAFew Day.

Thousands have asked me, (OK, no one has really asked but I’m sure they WILL be shortly), “Sue, just what IS TipAFew Day?” Well sir, it’s a day where either after work, after school, or after BREAKFAST, you just sit back, go out, and Tip A Few.

Okay, I KNOW what you’re thinking, “But Sue, don’t you DO that EVERY Friday anyway?” Yes, but THIS way, you can have a few without WORRYING about it BECAUSE it’s a Holiday. No one will really CARE how many drinks you tip ‘cause They’re celebrating right along WITH you. After all…It IS a Holiday.

Some folks have asked me, “Sue, can I get off of work for this?”  My answer is, “Every job is different, some are more flexible come special Holidays and some are not.” Since this one only starts THIS Friday, you will have to spread the word around quickly to get the spirit of the day going. Hey, who knows, if you do a good enough job of selling the idea, MAYBE they will close you job down for the day and just start partying.

In honor of this day, I will be buying the ENTIRE WORLD it’s first drink. Just send the bill to: Sue at P.O. Box 188, Wonderland Dr., Land of OZ. I even made up a little catch phrase in honor of this day. See what you think.

“If YOU tip a few, so will Sue,” OK, it’s in the first draft stages but it IS kind of fitting for the day right? If YOU have a BETTER jingle, I’d LOVE to hear it.

I hope ALL of you enjoy TipAFew Day, I KNOW I will…

Until Later…