Sue’s Quotes

einstein

You can’t blame gravity for falling in love…. Albert Einstein

 

It’s all the MOON’S fault!!!…Sooz

 

Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving. Albert Einstein

 

I disagree, I say that in order to KEEP your balance, you need TRAINING WHEELS!!!…Sooz

 

Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value… Albert Einstein

 

I say, Strive for BOTH!!! OK, I’m greedy!!! …Sooz

 

Sooz Talks With God

Sooz: Hey God, what’s up, it’s Sooz.
God: Sooz Who?
Sooz: Come on God, I spoke with you once in 84, remember, the stolen bicycle incident?
God: Oh yeah, you copped to stealing that kids bike in the neighborhood, right?
Sooz: Yup, that was the time. AnywayI have something on my mind I wanna run by ya.
God: Go for it, I have about 15 minutes time before my tennis match with Gabriel.  You didn’t “BORROW” another bike did you???
Sooz: Nooooooo!!!!!!!!  Come on God, I’m 43 years old now, I don’t ride bikes anymore… I have something else to ask you.
God: OKLet’s HAVE it Sooz. Time is clickin’ away…
Sooz: Well….I am kinda distressed.
God: About your writing skills???

God: Oh come on Sooz, “Just Ask Sooz”Pahleeeeez!!!!
Sooz: What’s WRONG with “Just Ask Sooz”?
God: Seriously? You want me to believe that all those people come to YOU for advice for their WACKO questions?
Sooz: Ahhhhh Yeah!!!
God: You are too tongue and cheek with the answers….Short and sweet….That’s what *I* say…
Sooz: But the audience LOVES tongue and cheek God…
God: Did you FORGET who you’re speaking to young lady? (Thunder Rolls)!!!
Sooz: Sorry… I’ll try harder.
God: And what about that “Sue’s Fractured Fairy Tales” or “Sue’s Quotes”, come on SoozDRIVEL!!!
Sooz: Wow!!! Thank goodness I don’t WRITE my prayers to you huh? Anyway, here’s my problem… I CAN’T WHISTLE…
God: WHAT???????????? I give you brains,  great looks, and did I mention great tits, and YOU’RE worried that you can’t whistle?
Sooz: YUP!!! I want to be able to go into a bar, see someone who is built and be able to whistle. Is THAT so wrong?
God: It seems to ME young lady that you have been using your mouth QUITE effectively in AHHHHEMLovemaking. Is THAT what they call it now?
Sooz: Yeah, sure God, but I STILL want to whistle.
God: “Just put your lips together and blow”THAT’s how you whistle Sooz. Listen, Gabriel is here so I have to go.
Sooz: WellOKThank you, I think?!?
God: No problem Sooz, THAT’S what I’m here for. Now that I’ve helped YOU, I can get back to creating World Peace, Fixing the Ebola outbreaks, and work on the OTHER diseases and pestilence we have in the world. ButThank GOODNESS I”VE taught YOU how to whistle.
Sooz: Thanks for the advice, I’ll be sure to come back when I need more criticism. Geese!!!

Sue’s Quotes

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If at first you don’t succeed…Marry a sugar daddy…Nuff Said…:)

Sex is a part of nature. I go along with nature… Marilyn Monroe… Hey…It’s not NICE to fool Mother Nature.

It’s not that I COULDN’T give up drinking;   I just don’t want the economy to collapse…Sooz… 

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night… Woody Allen…I always make sure I book a motel in advance.

Sue’s Quotes

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“If you talk to God, you are praying; if God talks to you, you have schizophrenia.”

 —Thomas Szasz

If you TALK with God; AND you HAVE schizophrenia, then welcome to MY family.

“The graduate with a Science degree asks, “Why does it work?”
“The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, “How does it work?”
“The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, “How much will it cost?”
“The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, “Do you want fries with that?”

—Unknown

I say, Become a HOOKER, you need NO degree and make more money than ALL of the combined professions.

 

 

“If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.”

— Unknown

No funny retort here, the above quote says it ALL now doesn’t it???

 

Until Later…

Sue’s Quotes

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

Albert Einstein

Genius starts at the beginning of Creativity and ends with Insanity.

 

 

A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?

Albert Einstein

DUH!!! Have I ever suggested that YOU were crazy???

 

 

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Albert Einstein

I am in SERIOUS trouble here…I booked the rubber room for Monday. 🙂

Until Later…

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sue’s Quotes

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A woman whose smile is open and whose expression is glad has a kind of beauty no matter what she wears.

Anne Roiphe

 

Especially if she has Big Boobs and a Nice Ass to go WITH that smile, just sayin’.

 

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.

Mark Twain

 

You Better DROP the F**KING cat as fast as you can.

 

A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him.
David Brinkley

 

Once He gets out of the HOSPITAL of Course.