Flossing: How the HELL Can I Get That String in There?

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How many of you out there floss? SERIOUSLY??? Well let me just give you a little statistic…73% of all Americans would rather go grocery shopping than floss their teeth. Yup…It’s true, and how many of us just LOVE to grocery shop, Nuff Said?

Now…I’m not saying that I DON’T floss my teeth, BUT…Do you know how hard it is to DO that when you’ve been DRINKING, and NO I’m NOT drunk as I’m typing this… Anyway, where was I…Oh yeah, flossing.

The trouble I have with flossing is that I just don’t LIKE it…There…Plain and simple. For one thing, it takes up Waaaaaaaaaay to much of my time. I mean how much time is it supposed to take anyway? It takes me about 20 minutes (OK…MAYBE a little bit exaggerated) to get that Damn string correctly positioned between my fingers first BEFORE I can even start.

Then, you have to push and shove and wrestle with it until it finally fits between your teeth. When you’ve finally managed to accomplish that, you have to go UP and DOWN and twirl it around (Did ya like that rhyme), until you get EVERY stinkin’ piece of excess piece of nitrogenous waste eliminated from between the teeth. Yeah…Like THAT’S gonna happen.

Now…You could use a Water Pic, which is supposed to be an effective way of removing excess GARBAGE from between your teeth; I own one, but, the only trouble with it is…Water sprays EVERYWHERE. I mean if you wanna do it effectively, you have to be stark NAKED as NOT to get any water on your PJ”S. I’ll give ya a little tip, do it in the bathtub after you’ve showered…That way, you’re good to go. Better YET…Have your significant other do it FOR you in the shower…Owww…I’m getting excited…

Being in the ADD game, I’ve come up with THE solution to have more people Floss…Make the string with a Chocolate Flavor…AM I right? Shoot, once they come out with that, I’ll be flossing 5, maybe 6 times a day, even if I HAVEN’T had any food to eat. Once that  THAT little gem is developed, come and see me, I promise you it will be the best selling item since Viagra.

So, come on someone…Hurry the hell up and invent that product, heck…I’ll be your FIRST customer. Alright…I have to go…The floss is calling me.

Until Later…

Rerernces: http://www.dentalgentlecare.com/fun_dental_facts.htm

Mars and Venus for Dummies

The book “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus” is a funny book describing the differences on how men and women think. I’ve read this book SEVERAL times now trying to figure out what the HELL Men REALLY mean when they say things. To date, I have STILL not figured it out.

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Don’t misunderstand me guys, I’m NOT bashing you, I’m SURE that you are wondering the same thing about US. WHY don’t we think the same way? I think it must have been a HUGE COSMIC JOKE in the Universe when we were created. “Hey, I have a thought, let’s create Men to think ONE way, and Women another.” “That way, we can watch them BICKER until the Angels come home.”

I think the key here is to just listen to what they say and then do what EVER the Hell we feel like. That’s what THEY do. I know what you’re thinking here guys, you’re saying. “You DO that anyway.”

So…What can be DONE about all this? How can we all just get along? Over the years, it seems to me that when we are in a loving relationship, SOMEHOW, we all seem to just GET on the same page. Have you ever noticed that?

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Maybe it’s the chemicals in our bodies that are ALTERED for this brief time in history. Do you think that’s what makes Both of us ‘UNDERSTAND’ each other better?

Think about it for a minute, for the MOST part, we (Women) don’t like men’s sports. Yet, when we are in LOVE, all of a sudden, in order to be WITH the man we love, we become obsessed with the game. We learn everything we can so we can communicate about it on par with him.

Same thing happens for the guys. Who would EVER think a guy would go to the drug store to get us TAMPONS (Owwwwwww!!!!!!), or hold our dreaded purses when the need arises? I’m tellin’ ya, it’s the LOVE CONNECTION.

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AS I see it, there are only Two possibilities here on how to totally ‘GET’ each other.

* One…We turn Gay, this way we are both of the same gender and TOTALLY understand each other anyway.

* Two…Stay in love CONSTANTLY.

Both of these methods seem to fit the general dynamic. So…Which way will YOU go? Good luck. Hopefully, you pick the one that will give you a LIFETIME full of pleasure.

Until Later…