The Mayan Prophecy Of The End Of The World

Once upon a time in an ancient civilization called the Mayas, there lived a beautiful priestess who decided she would fuck with the rest of world and issue a doom and gloom END OF THE WORLD prophecy for December 21ST. 2012.

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                Priestess’s Temple

She was probably INCREDIBLY “BORED In HER GOURD” that day, AND, had also inhaled too many herbs from performing Religious ceremonies the night before.

So, there she sat, higher than Cheech and Chong, just wondering what she could do to spice things up a bit. After staring aimlessly at a rock for about an hour, she decided it might be a HOOT to have the Mayan calendar end on the 21St of December 2012 and thus SCARE the entire world SH–LESS.

It seems to have worked too because people have written several books about the topic, it’s been on TV, and even the folks who believed Y2K would be the end of days have once again JUMPED on the bandwagon.

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                 Tic Toc Tic Toc

They’re going around carrying signs, chanting, and even telling people to get right with their God because there’s only 3 months and 9 days left. Wow!!! That really isn’t really enough time to DO the things I wanted to do before the world ends. I mean does that mean I will SAVE a thousand dollars this year because there won’t BE any Christmas? Hey on a brighter note, look at all the TIME I’ll save NOT having to run around to 200 stores searching for presents that someone else has already purchased.

Plus, what about my Bucket list? I was gonna WAIT a few years but now there is no time left. If I wanna get the Gold out of Fort Knox, I have to ROB it NOW, (Looks around to see if any FEDS are listening).

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Gold Anyone???

Or what about trying out for Dancing With The Stars? I guess THAT ship has sailed now too…DAMN!!!
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Well at least my friends wedding is coming up at the end of September, I can always go out, buy some great shoes and be the hit of the wedding as the Wedding Slut.

All I can say folks is that if I were you, I would start to PARTY HARDY!!! I’m actually starting right now. I have a drink in hand, my feet up on my chair and my Dildo close by…Talk to you all later as I’ll be “BUSY” for a while. Enjoy your time left.

Until Later…

16 thoughts on “The Mayan Prophecy Of The End Of The World

  1. Firstly I must congratulate you on your use of randomised capitals. I’m a big fan. Secondly, shit! I’ve got to go and join that fire eating class!

    Like

  2. “Busy” indeed. If the Mayans only knew, they might have moved back the date to make sure you had enough time. If it does come to pass at least you will go drunk and exhausted with a mischievous smile on your face!

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  3. My friends and I are throwing a party. Booze, sex, drugs, and rock n roll while we all watch the world die. You’re invited, ya know? 😉

    Like

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