Things I’ve Always Wanted To Do

I was sittin’ here thinking this morning what to write about, and then, outta the BLUE comes THIS little Gem. I’m sure we ALL have things we wish we could do in our lives, some profound, and some just simple. I thought I would offer you up a couple of what MY Wants would be.

First and foremost, I’ve ALWAYS wanted to be able to PEE while standing. I mean GUYS have ALL the fun. They can just WHIP it out ANYWHERE, even write the Gettysburg Address in the snow (If they have snow), and then just give it a healthy SHAKE and THROW it back in their pants. WE, on the other hand, are relegated to sitting down all proper, TINKEL, and then wipe ourselves (Daintily of course) with toilet paper.

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            Eyes FRONT Guys

Oh SURE, we CAN do it, but then we get little droplets of piss running down our legs and into our panties. It JUST isn’t WORTH the TIME cleaning ourselves off.

The Second thing I’ve always wanted to do is SNOWBOARD. This would be a very DO-ABLE want except for one thing, I have TWO left feet. Yup, that’s right folks, Suzie Q is EXTREEMLY clumsy. I LOVE to dance but I am usually escorted BACK to my seat after I have RUINED my date’s shoes by stepping all over them.

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               OK…I think THAT”S enough

I’m not certain, BUT, I believe you need two GOOD feet in order to snowboard. Kinda like surfing but on a smaller board right? Somehow, I just don’t See myself doing that unless somehow I was belted, buckled, and BELIEVED I could do the task. I can just picture it now…Me flying down a mountain at 100 MPH with only ONE FRICKIN’ Tree or bench on the whole course and “I” would find it.

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                              Oopsie Daisy

Well, Maybe in my NEXT life when I come back as an Olympic skier I’ll TRY Snowboarding. MAYBE!!!!

Last but not LEAST, (Don’t LAUGH now), I’ve always wanted to be a STRIPPER/POLL DANCER. I said DON’T LAUGH!!! Yup…Go figure huh, I love turning folks on, so… WHY NOT get PAID for it???

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          How LOW can you GO

Hey…It’s something I love doing right, DANCING, and the money can be upwards of a 150K per year. Hmmmmmm….Let me THINK on this one for a while hehehe.  even though these are all GREAT aspirations, I think for now, I’m just gonna stick with what I’m BEST at…SEX!!!

Until Later…

16 thoughts on “Things I’ve Always Wanted To Do

  1. The company I used to work for insisted that men wear dark pants as part of its dress code. The only reason I could think of for this is that if a guy accidentally gets a piss-spatter on his pants while taking a leak, it won’t show up against a dark background. God must be a great practical joker, eh? If I got a job as a stripper, people would pay me a lot of money to put my clothes back on. Thanks for liking my blog. I like yours too!

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  2. went thru nearly all of you blogs and found your observations absolutely fantastic… it’s one of the hardest part a man has to do… hiding those spots on light colored pants! Thanks for liking my blog!

    Like

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