From The Apples Point of View

Hi there, I’m an apple. Yup you heard me just fine; I’m an apple sitting on the grocery store’s display. Today I’m going to give you folks a look at MY day here in the store.

Don’t get me wrong, the stores OK I guess, although I would MUCH rather be back on my nice cozy tree suckin’ up sunshine. Here in the store, the stock boys wake our asses up waaaaaaaaaaaay to early.

 Every morning they come by and with their freezin’ cold hands, cold as a witch’s tit, they pick us up, and stack us to look real purdy for our customers. Sometimes, they even spray a little water on us to shine us up better. I gotta tell ya, taking a shower like that in front of several of the OTHER apples is real embarrassin’.

The next part is tough…The Waitin’. Look, we all know that were gonna be eaten or used in cookin’, we’ve all come to terms with that, it’s just that it doesn’t make it any easier for us to accept. It’s like a man in jail waitin’ to be hanged or somethin’.

Anyway, the only GOOD thing about this day is sizin’ up all the customers that come by. Did you know that most people will pick up bananas or oranges before they even give US a look? That’s disheartening. I mean come ON people…WE’RE fruit too!!! Gheese…

People are weird looking things, some have big BUMPS in their chest and long hair while OTHERS have deep voices and hair on their face, I guess people call them beards. Personally, I like the ones who have what I think people call boobs, yeah…Their Niccccccccccce lookin’.

Usually, this group FEELS me up a lot to see just how plump and delicious I am. I Liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiike that!!! The guys of the specious are usually more harsh and just pick me up and THROW me into the cart.

Of course from there you KNOW what happens, I get eaten or cooked. Alas…The life of an apple. Well, it was good getting’ to know you folks and I’ll be seein’ ya in the stores…OR…on your plate…Hehehehe…

Until Later…