Ten Things NOT to do on Labor Day Weekend

  1. Labor–Small scale working however IS permitted IF low key, such as preparing a brunch or picnic lunch for 200.
  2. Talk to others that ARE working and say, “What a NICE day outside.”
  3. Send a note to Congress thanking them for the day off, and you request they enact a 300 day Labor Day policy, WITH pay.
  4. Getting arrested for urinating in a public fountain, pretending to be a Greek statue. 
  5. Going to a police station with megaphones singing “I’m Free,” (And YOU’RE NOT), by the Who…  
  6. Picketing your boss’s house with placards that read, FOUR MORE DAYS!!!
  7. If working, calling your boss every 15 mins with nonsensical work related questions to interrupt his/her day OFF.
  8. If you’re the boss, telling your employees that because they have done such a good job, you are giving them an all-expense paid trip… To China, to start working THERE!!!
  9. Sleeping on the job for the hours YOU consider the boss OWES you for NOT giving you time off.
  10. Waking up and realizing that it is Labor Day so you don’t have to go in, what a great feeling. A moment later, however, you realize you were FIRED, and NEVER have to go to work.


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