Recently I decided to try internet dating (Ohhhhh Boy). The thing is, I work a lot and don’t usually have the time for OLD FASHIONED DATING; you know, going to a seedy bar, getting rambling drunk and then waking up in someone Else’s bed and pregnant. OK, in all fairness, it doesn’t have to be a seedy bar.
Anyway, I answered all the questions asked to match you with Prince Charming then waited for a response. Within a day I had 42 inquires from my profile. I thought DAMN, this internet thing is great, why didn’t I do this before?
Then, I found out WHY. People LIE!!! Ya really, I’m not kidding. When I did MY profile, I answered everything honestly, I provided an actual picture of myself, and expected my perspective Prince to do the same. Boy, I had no idea what I was getting into.
Over a couple of months I must have agreed to go out with 3 or 4 Princes. Well, let me tell you, almost every Adonis looking picture on line turned out to be either Short, Bald, or down right Ugly. Now, I’m not a woman who goes just for physical attraction, BUT, DAMN, at LEAST have a personality.
One guy bored me to tears, literally, he talked about the benefits of internal design capabilities for 2 hours…..WHAT?????? I mean I love talking about internal design capabilities as well as the next girl but COME ON……Just SHOOT me now. Finally, I explained that I was coming down with a slight case of Bubonic Plague and needed to go.
Another Prince took me to a fast food type restaurant for dinner and then to some GUY flick with car chases, killing, and lots of sex. I actually didn’t mind the sex parts. 🙂 After that he started talking to me a lot about well….you know, sleeping with me. He asked me if I used protection and I told him YOU BETCHA, I carry a 44 Magnum in my purse and if he even TRIED to touch me, I’d blow MR. WEE WEE into a million LITTLE wee wees. That date wasn’t going anywhere either. When he took me home and tried to give me a goodnight kiss, I pushed him away saying that there was a lot of garlic on those cheese fries and I just didn’t feel right about kissing garlic breath….Geeeeeez.
My last date took me to a bar and he ordered drinks. He said he didn’t drink and drive so I shouldn’t worry. He ordered 5 or 6 rounds more. I was feelin’ REAL good and he was really drunk too. I got bold (from my liquid courage) and I asked him, “I thought you said you don’t drink and drive”, he replied by saying ” I don’t, I only drink IN the bar”, so technically he doesn’t drink WHILE driving. I was scared to death so I told him so and staggered off to a cab to take me home.
Now….Is it ME or is Internet dating for the birds? I think I’m just going back to The Old Fashioned Method. Talk to you all later…..
Until next time.
Hahahahahahaha. Now that is funny right there. They really used fake pics? Did they think you would not notice? When I tried this back in the day, I put my real pic up and waited for the ladies to come to me. Never occurred to me to use Fabio’s pic. 🙂
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Hehehehe…..TRY it next time…Several DO!! Hehehehe.
Sooz
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Bloody hell, what is wrong with blokes over there??
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Don’t get me started!!!
x
Sooz
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Thanks for the warning. I have just started online dating 😀
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