Since this is my one hundredth post, I thought and thought about what to write that would be REALLY funny and finally, I came up with THIS idea.
With the Holiday Season coming up I thought about gift giving. We all love receiving gifts, we tell our friends and relatives what we want and then IF we’re lucky, we receive them. OK, THAT’S the EASY part, but WHAT about those people though that you just can’t STAND.? What if you gave THEM some kind of gift that matched their FLAWS?
Take for example my next door neighbor. He is a nice guy but he has a dog that is ALWAYS barking and likes to “DEPOSIT” his excrement on MY property. I say for HIM, I will get a ZAPPING COLLAR and a POOPER SCOOPER. Now I CERTAINLY will be FRIENDLY about it though and say Merry Christmas on the card. Perhaps he will get the idea after that.
Then there is this guy (in my family) let’s just call him Romeo, who is married yet is a womanizer. He will hit on ANYONE with a pair of boobs. For him I decided to get a blow up DOLL, (With some NICE BOOBS of course), that HOPEFULLY, will take his mind off hitting on other women. For his WIFE, I will give a FREE subscription to Just Ask Sooz. This way she can write in whenever she wants to and I can give her some of my expert advice.
To my UPS man, who usually just THROWS my packages anywhere he wants to in my yard where they usually wind up BROKEN, I am giving a one year membership to THE BUBBLE WRAP SCHOOL FOR WAYWARD UPS MEN. Perhaps the NEXT time I get a package I won’t NEED the super glue to figure out WHAT the HELL it is.
Last but not least, to my very RUDE grocery clerk, I am giving a Book of 10,000 compliments to give people. Hopefully she will ma of USE of these the next time I come in contact with her. If not, I will just have to CUT her…I’m ONLY kidding, I would NEVER do that, well at LEAST while someone was looking anyway.
Hopefully this has entertained you and has given YOU some great gift ideas TOO to those people you just can’t stand.