Sooz’s Naughty Nursery Rhymes

We’ve all heard THIS nursery rhyme, but how many of you know THE REAL STORY???

“Jack and Jill went up the hill,
To fetch a pail of water.
Jack fell down, and broke his crown
And Jill came tumbling after.”

Cute and catchy eh? Yeah, but not quite as sweet as all that. Here’s what REALLY happened.
A long time ago, in Bogota, Columbia, there lived a boy named Juanito, (Jack) Sanchez. Juanito was always a troubled boy, he was born into an impoverished family with 4 brothers and 3 sisters. Never getting the attention he deserved, at the age of 13 he decided to run with a gang.

Trouble seemed to follow him where ever he went, and his list of wrongdoings increased when at 18, he joined the Escobar Cartel. His responsibilities were to buy, sell, and distribute cocaine to those who were willing to use his product. Things were going good for Juanito until he met a girl named Jillena Rodriguez, (Pronounced Hill-Ay-Na)…

Jillena was smart and sexy, but, bad to the bone. (Bad to the Bone music playing in the background). It didn’t take Juanito long to fall head over heals for this sexy temptress. Together, they and the Cartel, ran the fear of God into the surrounding communities.

They had it all, fast cars, money to burn, and a sex life that put rabbits to shame.  Then, one day, Jillena took Juanito aside and said to him, “Why don’t we take a cut out of the Cartels pocket, get incredibly rich and leave for America to start our OWN distribution ring?”

He was reluctant at first, but, she had eyes that just burned through his soul, and he became a slave to her whimsies. They had it all planned out. They were to go up Mt. Vargus, pick up a shipment of high quality blow from the Cartel to distribute, and then just vanish into the sunset.

The day came, and Juanito and Jillena climbed the mountain to pick up the shipment. Now Emilio Escobar, (Cartel leader), was NOT a stupid man, he had overheard of the couples plan from a third party that just happened to be watching them.

The Cartel was waiting in hiding as Jack and Jill picked up the shipment. Just as soon as Jack started down the hill with his stash, they sprang from their hidden enclosures and with baseball bats beat Jack and Jill, all that was left was their bloody remains.

The Cartel picked up their coke, and dumped Jack and Jill’s body over that mountain where anyone who found them would KNOW not to mess with Emilio Escobar and the Cartel. The news of Jack and Jill’s murder became news and the legend was created. Ahhhhhhh.Good Times!!!

And NOW you know the REAL story!!!!!!

Note: All proceeds collected from this story go to Jack and Jill’s family in Phoenix AzC/O Sooz….

 

 

Silence

The sound of silence fills the night.

My soul is satiated by my heart’s contentment.

Praise the night, for solitude strikes all discord.

Enrichment and peace follow me, all the days of my life. 

Life After Death—Fact or Fiction

 

Heaven

Yesterday I answered a questionnaire by Aoifemarie, and one of the questions was: “Have You Ever Had a Near Death Experience?” This had always been a philosophical question in my mind between my upbringing, and my intellect.

I was raised as a “good” Catholic girl from an Irish family, yet, I never really believed in life after death. I guess in my OWN mind, I considered myself an Agnostic. I believed in an ENTITY, OR, a Spirituality if you will, but never really bought the concept of a Heaven or Hell.

As I grew older, I read many books on the subject, both pro and con, and I had determined that the concept whereby people saw a light, or floated above their bodies, was just  an element of the brain which was dying, seeming to ease one’s transition from life to death.

This was all well and good UNTIL I contracted Pneumonia. I had a very bad case, and it was excruciating to breathe. I remember just laying in the hospital bed wheezing for air. All of a sudden, I remember my body seeming to get lighter and lighter.

I remember feeling like I was floating ABOVE my body. I KNOW this sounds ridiculous, but it IS what happened. A team of around 10-12 Dr’s and nurses gathered around me, and started hand compressions on my heart as others raced for the defibrillator. At this point, I realized that I had died. From a distance, I say a corridor of white light, and at the end of this light, I saw my father, (Who had been dead for years), motioning to me to go back into my body.

I remember the Dr’s saying, “Charge to 100, then 120”, yet I felt NO pain, only a blissful happiness. I heard one Dr. ask,  “How long has she been gone now,” and one of the nurses answered, “a minute plus.” Again, I looked towards my father who THIS time, spoke to me just as clear as ever, “Princess, it’s not your time yet, go back.”

Acknowledging him with a big smile, I felt my body slowly return to my Earthly home. My eyes opened, and I heard one of the nurses say, “Welcome back young lady.” It was an experience I shall ever forget, and one that has made me a believer in life after death.

Until Later…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sooz’s Answers to Aoifemarie’s Survey

 

I have alwas been addicted to answering surveys, so when I saw this, I just couldn’t resist. THANKS Aoifemarie….Hehehehe….

Are you a good liar?

HeyI’m in the Advertizing businessI’m a GREAT liar. Personal life–Only to protect someone’s feelings.

 

How did you fall in love the first time?

That’s an interesting question for me because I don’t believe I have EVER been in love. LUST everyday, never really had a long lasting relationship romantically.

A. I am usually too BZ, 

B. I don’t know if I am really capable of love based on my obsession with sex.

Are you currently or have you ever been addicted to something unhealthy?

Alcohol has been always my master. From the time I was small until just a few months ago I was drunk to some extent most of the time. Also nymphomania is another addiction…. Hey… EVERYONE needs a COUPLE of faults, RIGHT???
 

Could you handle the rigors of a long distance relationship?

NOPE!!! I’m afraid I wouldn’t make a very stable mate. My insatiable sex addiction would keep me from EVER being faithfulSAD…:(

Does/would your parent’s opinion of your partner matter to you?

If I WAS ever able to enter into a relationship NO!!! I am my own master and wouldn’t care what my parents thought about it if they were alive.
 

In your own eyes, are you a good person?

Good to who? Good is such a relative word. In MY eyes, yes, in many peoples eyes, No!!!

Have you ever had a near-death experience?

Yes!!! I had pneumonia once and actually died on the table for a minute before they could revive meTHAT’s a whole other UNBELIEVABLE blog in itself…

What is one quality that you think instantly makes someone attractive?

A HUGE wallet!!! Hehehehe.NO, humor has always been able to snag me into you. THAT, and honesty, there isn’t a lot of that going around in the world today.

What’s the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for you?
I had a sheik for a client once who became enamored with me. He flew me to his country for dinner, drinks, and of course sex…

Do you think that physical chemistry is an important part of a relationship?

Oh YES!!! While some would say that it’s the mental aspect which keeps the heart glowing, I say it’s the genitals. ;)

Would you marry your partner if you knew they were suffering from a terminal illness?

If I was ever lucky enough to fall in love with someone, It WOULDN’T matter to me at all. I say grab the brass ring while you can and enjoy the happiness.

What was the worst thing you got grounded for as a child?

It was ALWAYS for getting drunk and doing something that the cops and I and friends didn’t agree onHehehehe…

Are you a person who keeps enemies, grudges or negative thoughts about a person?

Why??? What have you heard??? NoLife is too short to hold grudges, I just try and move on…

Sexy Thursday–The Need

Morning breaks, and beads of wettness dance between my legs.
My NEED has awakened me, my humble servant’s hand responds.
Slowly caressing my naked flesh, as my garden responds heavenly to its touch.
Feel me, it cries out, Touch me, it pleads, come to me and explore my crevice.

Respectfully,my hand responds, as it glides slowly around my nipples.
Gracefully circling, softly pinching them together, my garden cries for its OWN attention now as I slowly feel my way down to pleasures nest.
Aching now for comfort, I encircle my mound, while inserting a finger inside my burning crevice.

I am HOT, I am Wanting, Pleasure is the ONLY thing on my mind.
In and out and around the garden I touch until containment is NO longer possible.
I am a slave, a slave to my needs, and my body KNOWS it.
Faster I feel until relief explodes through a wave of pleasure.

Pleasure has come, My NEED has won out, until the next time.

    

 

 

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Sue’s Fractured Fairy Tales

sexy

Once Upon a time in a far away land, there lived a poor shepherd girl named Amber-Lynn. Every day, she would get up at the crack of dawn to feed, and then tend her flock until sunset.

She was a beautiful girl, but lived so far out in the country, she never really had a chance to mingle with anyone unless she ventured into town for supplies. One day, while feeding her sheep, she heard a voice, it sounded as if it was coming somewhere from within the herd.

Thinking it was just the wind, she went back to her duties. A little while later, she heard the voice again. This time, she called out, “Is someone speaking to me?”

This time, however, one of the sheep replied with, “That would be ME Amber-Lynn.” Startled, she looked at the sheep and said, “But you’re a sheep, said Amber-Lynn, how is it that you can talk?” “I’m a SPECIAL sheep”, said the voice, “and I am here to help you carry your burden.” “What do you mean”, she asked?

“Since I can speak, I can HELP with your shepherding duties while you rest.” “Wow, that would be great”, said Amber-Lynn, “I AM exhausted after watching the flock all day.” “It’s settled then”, said the talking sheep, and Amber-Lynn laid down to take a much needed nap.

Upon awakening,  she found the talking sheep, proudly standing on all fours,  watching the sheep as promised. This went on for three or four days until ONE day, Amber-Lynn noticed that one of her fattest sheep was missing.

“Did you notice that one of the sheep was missing”, she asked the talking sheep?” “NO”, said the talking sheep, looking SHEEPISH, (Sometimes I just make MYSELF laugh), It must have happened last night without me noticing.”

The next morning, once again, another of the fattest sheep was missing. Angry now, Amber-Lynn confronted the talking sheep. “I have left you in charge while I slept, believing you would be taking care of the sheep and do as good a job as I always have.” “I am afraid I am going to have to ask you to leave.”

The talking sheep smiled with a wide grin. He exposed his sharp white teeth while removing the sheep costume he had been wearing, and displayed himself to be what he REALLY was, a huge, vicious wolf. Quickly, he pounced on Amber-Lynn, and with a huge bite to her neck, killed her dead.

Morals:—1.  NEVER trust a talking sheep. Oh ya, also yu have that wolf in sheep’s clothing thingy going on.

             2. Be careful when making important changes, but ALWAYS carry an UZI, just in case you find a sheep that happens to be a BIG BAD WOLF!!!
Until Later…